By the Time I Get to Phoenix....

I am not supposed to be in Phoenix.  I am supposed to be home.

But….

When my husband I and returned from 18 days in Europe on Monday evening, we learned that areas east of the Great Lakes were getting hammered with lake effect snow.  We had planned to stay in a hotel in Philadelphia Monday night, and on Tuesday, Bill was to fly to Phoenix for a trade show, and I was to return home. When I checked my flight status, I learned it was cancelled.  The weather forecast didn’t offer much encouragement that flights would be going in my direction any time soon.

Decisions…decisions….stay by myself in a Philadelphia hotel waiting for the weather to break at home or try to get on a flight to Phoenix?  No brainer….but there is where the complications began.

When we approached USAir about getting me on the same flight to Phoenix with my husband, the agent was downright snotty….no way, it could not be done.  My husband expressed exasperation, “What do you mean you can’t do it?  If there are seats available, of course, you can do it!”  Then we figured out that she was assuming we were trying to get a free ticket to Phoenix, which was not our intent.  Once we assured her that we intended to pay for the ticket, she quickly determined there were seats available on all of his flights and was even accommodating about trying to find a way to reduce the cost.  In the end, it didn’t cost much more than it would have cost for me to be in the hotel room for three days.

It was a bit of a jolt to deal with USAir personnel after traveling on British Airways.  When compared to British Air, the USAir folks are downright surly.

In any event…off to Phoenix I went, thinking about the next issue.  We had packed for my husband figuring on the extra days in Phoenix after the European trip, but of course, I hadn’t planned on that, so I had a suitcase full of dirty clothes, and not much left to wear.  I figured that when we arrived at the hotel, I would send a few items of clothing to the laundry service.

By the time we got to Phoenix, we were exhausted…..we had crossed eight time zones since leaving Europe.  We were hungry.   We desperately wanted a bit of food and a bed.  My husband had been told there was no reason to rent a car, as there would be a shuttle to the hotel downtown near the convention center.  Uh…whoops..wrong….no shuttle!  So, we got a taxi.

We arrived at the downtown Sheraton, thinking we had reached our journey’s end.  But wait…..the hotel had overbooked and needed to send us elsewhere for just one night.   They were unclear about the location of the Arizona Grand, and we assumed it was close by, since Bill needed to be at the convention center at 10 the next morning.  The desk clerk said that the bellhops would take care of our luggage, and she was going to “walk us over there.”  But, what she meant was that she was walking us to a waiting car.  We got in the car, still assuming we were only going a couple of blocks.  Pretty soon we were on the freeway heading south….and south…and further south.  We went past the airport at which we had just recently arrived.  I wondered aloud if we were heading to Mexico. My normally calm husband was becoming agitated…..how was he supposed to get back to the convention center?  The Sheraton had given him a voucher for his ride back, but he was worried about what would happen to me.  They were supposed to have a room available the next day, but what time would it be available?  Was I going to be stranded in the lobby for hours waiting for a room?

The Arizona Grand is a gorgeous place, but it was hard to appreciate it given that on check-in, we were still tired and hungry, and I didn’t have clean clothes. I couldn’t send anything to their laundry service, because I wasn’t going to be there the next day to receive it back. 

The Arizona Grand is so spread out that you can’t get anywhere without calling for a golf cart to take you.  Fortunately, the young men who tool around on these golf carts are very considerate and accommodating….and yes, they said, there is a laundry facility available for me.  We came up with the plan that I would sort out what I needed to wash.  The golf cart would take me to the laundry.  Bill would go on the golf cart transport to one of the restaurants on the premises and get take-out to bring back to the laundry.

This may not seem like a big deal, but remember, we are totally exhausted at this point.  We arrive at the “laundry” and discover it is just a washer and dryer in a hallway….no detergent dispenser, no change machine at which to get the necessary quarters, no table or chairs to sit down while we eat.  The nice young guy driving the golf cart was determined to solve these issues for us.  He made a phone call and found that the front desk could sell us some detergent and of course, make change for us.   So, off we go to the front desk and back.  After making sure I was settled in the laundry, he took Bill to one of the restaurants for food, and then ushered us to a lounge area near the laundry where we could eat.

Much relieved, we ate hamburgers large enough to feed a family of four in a third world country and waited for the washing and drying process to be completed.  When it was done, we called the golf cart guy and he returned us to our “villa.”

We had a restful night’s sleep.  In the morning, Bill called the Sheraton to see when a room would be available.  He made it clear that he was unhappy about the notion of leaving his wife stranded with nowhere to go while he went off to the convention center.  I assured him that I would be fine.  I was sure the hotel would put our suitcases someplace safe, and I was sure I could entertain myself somehow…..shopping, perhaps?

We called the bellhop to arrange our transportation back to the Sheraton.  He said that he actually had a car sitting there waiting.  They loaded us into the car, but before we were out the driveway, we discovered the driver had no knowledge of our transportation voucher, so back to the Arizona Grand we went.  We had to wait about 20 minutes, while the bellhop got in touch with the correct transportation company.  Meanwhile one of those nice young golf cart guys got each of us a cup of coffee.

Eventually we arrived back at the downtown Sheraton which actually had a room ready for us….a very nice room on the 22^nd floor.  I can see all the way to the airport from our window.  The mountains surrounding are beautiful, and all is well.  Between the clothes I washed at the Arizona Grand and a couple of things I purchased at the store across the street, I have adequate clean clothing.

I even contacted a good friend and former co-worker, who lives in Phoenix now.  She got off work early in order to come and see me.  We had a great visit at the local Starbucks.

By the time I got to Phoenix, I was exhausted and felt like Murphy’s Law had been operating in my life …..but I’m fine now, and appreciative of the people who went out of their way to be helpful in fighting off Murphy.

In Love with Autumn

Oh, autumn, I am so in love with you!

Every sense responds to your embrace.

The crunch of dry leaves under my feet,

The honk of geese heading south,

The riotous palette of colors,

The tingle of fresh-pressed cider,

The aroma of garden tomatoes simmering into sauce.

You surround me with a coolness that invigorates.

I pull my sweaters out of storage,

Snuggle under the blankets at night.

Savor spicy chili at suppertime.

My mind revs to a higher speed.

I want to think new thoughts.

How many more autumns will I see?

Will twenty be enough?

If I was dying in August,

Would I hang on hoping for one more?

How could I ever leave you, autumn?

Your beauty refreshes my life.

Some associate spring with new life,

Winter with death, and autumn

As winter’s precursor, is depressing.

But I love you, even as bare trees

Are stark against the few remaining

Splashes of color and dark evergreens.

In your lingering days, as you fade,

You slide me gently into other arms.

Thanksgiving brings family.

I rise early to roast the turkey

And see the blaze of sunrise,

Through your barren branches.

By the time you have left me,

I am embraced by the holiday season.

You have slipped away with such stealth,

That your departure is not painful.

But my love for you is never-ending,

And I will welcome your return.

Oh, autumn, I am so in love with you!

The End of Human History

When human history is over, God will be totally justified in how He deals with mankind.  He has given us every opportunity to seek and find Him, and we collectively have failed.

At first, God gave us a set of rigid laws to follow.  The Jews were not only given the Ten Commandments, but many detailed rituals were prescribed.  Although specific punishments were also to be meted out for infractions, and judgments fell for disobedience, man found many creative ways to disobey and attempt to assert his independence from God.  Mankind in general refused to come to God through rules and sacrificial ritual. 

From the beginning of time, however, God knew He would reach out to us in another way, and so, He changed His approach.  Instead of detailed rules, He set forth the law of love.  He demonstrated the change through Christ, who became the ultimate sacrifice.  The sinless One died for our sin, and we entered the age of grace.  God, who knows our hearts, is more interested in our motives than in our specific actions.  But, mankind finds many creative ways to abuse this grace, and we shake our collective fist in the face of God.

God bides His time and watches.  We have refused to come to Him in repentance either through the law or through grace.  He has given the human race both opportunities, and we have persisted in our desire to set ourselves up as our own gods.  We want no sense of responsibility to Him.  Many in our culture even deny His existence.

But, He does have a claim on us.  He did create us and loves each of us uniquely.  He values each of us individually.  We are our brothers’ keepers.  How great must be His grief when we abuse and take advantage of one another.  Human cruelty and hatred knows no bounds, in contrast to God’s boundless love and mercy.

How will any of us be able to stand, when at the end of human history, the Lion roars?

The Pursuit of Happiness

We are all (or we all should be) familiar with the fact that the Declaration of Independence says we are entitled to “the pursuit of happiness.”  Please note:  It does not say we will all achieve it…only that we have a right to pursue it.

I have been wondering lately if the pursuit of happiness is a worthy goal. I pondered the idea this morning from a bath tub filled with warm water, which is one of my “happy places.” We all want to be happy, but can we be happy, if that is what we are attempting to achieve?

My daughter-in-law recently posted a video clip of her baby.  She can be heard singing in the background to the tune of “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands.”  However, she has altered the words to “If You’re Happy and You Know it, Eat Your Hands.”  As she sings, her 3-month old daughter chews on her fists and fingers, obviously pursuing pleasure.  But then, she removes her hands from her mouth to smile at her mother.  There are multiple cycles of this as the song is sung through once.  Now, if the little sweetie was alone in her crib and chewing on her hands, would she remove them from her mouth and grin aimlessly at nothing and no one?  I doubt it.  Her happiness is not in the pleasurable sensation of fingers in the mouth; it is in interaction with her mother.  Although her mother’s face is not visible, you know as you listen, that she is smiling and almost laughing as she sings.  So, the baby’s pursuit of happiness is not what is actually making her happy.  It is her mother’s love and delight in her to which she responds with such a happy face.

I have heard of elderly men and women whose spouses are in nursing homes and no longer recognize them.  They feel they should not have to be lonely, and that they should be able to pursue happiness by dating someone else.  I also know of people who have faithfully visited their incapacitated spouse or cared for them at home themselves in order to keep their marriage vow and pour back into their spouse’s life, the love they have received from them.  While acknowledging their loneliness, they have felt right about their commitment.  Which situation actually produces happiness?  I can’t answer that question.  I haven’t been there.  But, I suspect those who are faithful have an inner peace that makes mere happiness trivial.

I know of a woman who broke up a friend’s marriage and married her friend’s husband.  She said that they had “a right to be happy.”  Did they?  Is the pursuit of our own happiness to be our chief goal in life?  Are we to pursue our own happiness at the expense of someone else’s happiness?

Nowhere in the Bible are we told to pursue happiness.  II Timothy 2:22, however, tells us to “pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.”

While I was having my nice happy soak in the tub this morning, I started to sing a song I learned as a child.  I couldn’t quite remember all of the lyrics, so I looked them up.

"Happiness Is The Lord"
By Ira Stanphill

Happiness is to know the Savior, 
Living a life within His favor
Having a change in my behavior, 
Happiness is the Lord

Happiness is a new creation, 
Jesus and me in close relation
Having a part in His salvation, 
Happiness is the Lord

Real joy is mine,
no matter if teardrops start
I've found the secret 
It's Jesus in my heart
Happiness is to be forgiven, 
Living a life that's worth the livin'
Taking a trip that leads to heaven,
Happiness is the Lord

This is, of course, not the perspective of most of the world, but I have made it mine.  This will be my pursuit.

Inside My Head

Sometimes when I lay awake at night, strange thoughts float around in my head, which in the light of day seem even stranger….or are they more profound?

Last night I was pondering the fact that none of us really knows anyone else.  We see the blob of organic material that represents another person visually.  We hear the person’s voice and think we have connected with the other in conversation.  But, if I am typical….which, of course, I may not be….we are full of thoughts and ideas which are never verbalized.  I do not know what other people think when they see me.  I do not know how they interpret what I say.  I do know there is a whole lot more that goes on inside of me than what I am able to express in words or by actions.  I don’t know if it is safe to assume that others are like me, since I can’t know what is inside their heads any more than they can know what is in mine.

During the course of a day, I write stories and create dialogue for them, but I never expect to publish the vast majority of what my brain generates.  I explore the possibility of various creative projects and discard many of these ideas as impractical.  I daydream about various goals I could set for myself and shrug off most as unattainable.  I talk to God with great frequency about the people and events that I encounter during the day.  I have varying degrees of success in my quest to turn my thoughts of people into prayers for them.  Sometimes I get sucked into internal gossip.  I let my thoughts wander into criticism of others and their conduct, instead of my more worthy goal of praying for them.  I agonize over how I can best help people I see struggling.  If I tried to help would it be viewed as meddling?  Or crippling them with too much assistance? Or would I outright offend them?

I have heard someone refer to what goes on in some people’s heads as “white noise.” I don’t begin to understand that.  It is very difficult for me to shift my brain into neutral.  I am thankful for the “down time” of sleep….which brings me back to the fact that all of the mental gymnastics here described were happening last night about 3:30 AM when I should have been sleeping.

I may be paraphrasing some here, but my son once said to me, “Sometimes I think about the fact that I am thinking.  Then when I think about the fact that I am thinking about thinking….well, that could drive a person crazy.”

So if I don’t know what you’re really thinking, and you don’t know what I’m thinking, how can we really know each other?  I guess we have to content ourselves with what we do know for now, and appreciate that at least God knows us…. even better than we know ourselves.

Otherwise it’s off to the loony bin.

Dawning of a New Day

The morning dawns,

Gray and humid.

Fluttering leaves

Belie a gentle breeze.

A new day

Stretches before me,

All unknown.

I sit motionless.

The breeze increases.

But I am waiting

For life to happen.

Looking into the void.

Shall I remain still

And melt into the gray?

Or shall I jump up

And fly on the breeze?

I teeter on the edge.

Indecisive. Hesitant.

The wind can’t decide

Which way it wants to blow.

Gravity favors the gray.

It could carry me

Spiraling downward

Into increasing darkness.

But I can choose,

To climb aboard the breeze,

Lofting upward

Toward the sun.

Heracles Mad

This play is a real “downer.”  I can imagine what it would feel like to leave the theater after watching this performed!

Heracles has gone to Hades on one of his assigned tasks and has not returned for a lengthy period of time.  While he has been gone, his wife’s father Creon has been killed by Lycus, who has taken over the kingdom of Thebes.  Lycus plans to kill Megara, the wife of Heracles, and their three sons, as well as Amphitryon, who is Heracles’ father….well, at least, sort of his father.  Heracles was born after Amphitryon shared his wife with Zeus, so it is believed that Heracles is actually son of Zeus, and therefore, half god.  This, of course, means that Hera, wife of Zeus, is no fan of Heracles.

Amphitryon, Megara, and the three young sons plead before the altar of Zeus for help and rescue.  When it does not appear to be forthcoming, they decide to die with dignity.  They don burial clothes with the intent of surrendering themselves to Lycus.  However, in the nick of time, Heracles returns.  He surprises Lycus and kills him saving his family from death at the hand of Lycus.

But….at this point Madness arrives on an errand for Hera.  She does not really want to do what has been asked of her, but she gives in to the will of the goddess.  Madness possesses Heracles, and he himself kills his wife and three sons.  He falls and hits his head and is knocked unconscious.  While he is out cold, his father has him bound, lest he inflict more carnage if he awakes still in a mad state.

When he awakens, he is again rationale and distraught over what he has done.  He believes life to no longer be worth living.  At this point, Theseus arrives.  Heracles has, in the past, done an enormous favor for Theseus, so Theseus now is willing to stand by his friend in spite of what he had done.  After some discussion, he convinces Heracles to come home with him, and Amphitryon is left to bury his daughter-in-law and grandsons.

Commentary throughout the play comes from a chorus of elderly men, who bemoan the frailty of age, and the fact that they can no longer defend the weak and stand up for what is right.

Interesting quotes:

Megara:  …how uncertain are God’s dealing with man…

                …the man who wrestles with necessity, I esteem a fool.

                …what must be, no one will ever avail to alter.

Amphitryon:  The bravest man is he who relieth ever on his hopes, but despair is the mark of a coward.

                O Zeus….either thou art a god of little sense, or else naturally unjust

Chorus:  Had the gods shown discernment and wisdom, as mortals count these things, men would have gotten youth twice over, a visible mark of worth amongst whomsoever found….the mean man would have had but a single portion of life; and thus would it have been possible to distinguish the good and the bad….

Heracles:  For the deity, if he be really such, has no wants; these are miserable fictions of the poets.

I find this last quote particularly interesting.  Euripides apparently had some understanding that a true “God” would be complete in Himself.  He would not be dependent on man for anything.  He would not have had to create man.  He would not have needed adoration.  He would be the “I Am” that is described in the Bible.  This is the God I believe in…..eternally existent, all-powerful, who created man by His choice knowing He would also have to redeem man.  He does not “need” our adoration, but He is worthy of it.