The Pursuit of Happiness

We are all (or we all should be) familiar with the fact that the Declaration of Independence says we are entitled to “the pursuit of happiness.”  Please note:  It does not say we will all achieve it…only that we have a right to pursue it.

I have been wondering lately if the pursuit of happiness is a worthy goal. I pondered the idea this morning from a bath tub filled with warm water, which is one of my “happy places.” We all want to be happy, but can we be happy, if that is what we are attempting to achieve?

My daughter-in-law recently posted a video clip of her baby.  She can be heard singing in the background to the tune of “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands.”  However, she has altered the words to “If You’re Happy and You Know it, Eat Your Hands.”  As she sings, her 3-month old daughter chews on her fists and fingers, obviously pursuing pleasure.  But then, she removes her hands from her mouth to smile at her mother.  There are multiple cycles of this as the song is sung through once.  Now, if the little sweetie was alone in her crib and chewing on her hands, would she remove them from her mouth and grin aimlessly at nothing and no one?  I doubt it.  Her happiness is not in the pleasurable sensation of fingers in the mouth; it is in interaction with her mother.  Although her mother’s face is not visible, you know as you listen, that she is smiling and almost laughing as she sings.  So, the baby’s pursuit of happiness is not what is actually making her happy.  It is her mother’s love and delight in her to which she responds with such a happy face.

I have heard of elderly men and women whose spouses are in nursing homes and no longer recognize them.  They feel they should not have to be lonely, and that they should be able to pursue happiness by dating someone else.  I also know of people who have faithfully visited their incapacitated spouse or cared for them at home themselves in order to keep their marriage vow and pour back into their spouse’s life, the love they have received from them.  While acknowledging their loneliness, they have felt right about their commitment.  Which situation actually produces happiness?  I can’t answer that question.  I haven’t been there.  But, I suspect those who are faithful have an inner peace that makes mere happiness trivial.

I know of a woman who broke up a friend’s marriage and married her friend’s husband.  She said that they had “a right to be happy.”  Did they?  Is the pursuit of our own happiness to be our chief goal in life?  Are we to pursue our own happiness at the expense of someone else’s happiness?

Nowhere in the Bible are we told to pursue happiness.  II Timothy 2:22, however, tells us to “pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.”

While I was having my nice happy soak in the tub this morning, I started to sing a song I learned as a child.  I couldn’t quite remember all of the lyrics, so I looked them up.

"Happiness Is The Lord"
By Ira Stanphill

Happiness is to know the Savior, 
Living a life within His favor
Having a change in my behavior, 
Happiness is the Lord

Happiness is a new creation, 
Jesus and me in close relation
Having a part in His salvation, 
Happiness is the Lord

Real joy is mine,
no matter if teardrops start
I've found the secret 
It's Jesus in my heart
Happiness is to be forgiven, 
Living a life that's worth the livin'
Taking a trip that leads to heaven,
Happiness is the Lord

This is, of course, not the perspective of most of the world, but I have made it mine.  This will be my pursuit.

Even when it hurts...

Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary?  Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless and does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart....who keeps his oath even when it hurts...  Psalm 15: 1, 2, 4


I have dealt with some individuals recently who do not speak the truth and who would not consider keeping a promise if it hurt.  Some of them are young people...children, teens...who are still struggling to find their way.  They have not yet seen the value of truth and promise-keeping.


But others, are past middle age.  They should be setting the example for their children and grandchildren, but they don't want to experience anything that "hurts," so they do what they believe will make them happy.  One person who worked at breaking up a marriage, so that she could have someone else's husband said, "Oh, we think God wants us to be happy."  No....God wants us to be holy, and sometimes that means paying the price of some pain.  It's not that God wants us to be unhappy, but that is not His primary objective for our lives.  


Happiness does not trump holiness.


A teenage boy recently said in regard to something he was asked to do, had promised to do, and was backing out of, "I am only sixteen.  I shouldn't have to have responsibility."  Oh, really???  The same young man thinks he should be allowed to engage in sex with a teenage girl.  I'm sure that makes him "happy," but he is currently failing in school.  He has not caught on to the concept of suffering a bit of deprivation for the sake of long range happiness.


Privilege follows responsibility....it does NOT precede it.


I have committed to certain things in my life and discovered later that there is enormous pain involved in the commitment.  A child makes terrible choices, feeling certain that her life is her own and has nothing to do with her parents. Years pass and the consequences of those choices come crashing down.  Guess who suffers along with the person who has made the wrong decisions?  


A parent could choose to turn his or her back on the child.....You made your bed...now lie in it!  But, there is the little matter of having made a commitment to be the person's parent.  The one who stands blameless before God is the one who keeps his promise even when it hurts.


And sometimes...it really hurts.