Til We Have Faces

Last fall, I attended a seminar on C S Lewis, where the presenter said that “Til We Have Faces” was his most difficult book to understand.  Last week, I heard another lecture from a different expert in which he made no mention of it.  When he asked for a show of hands on which of Lewis’ books was the best, he did not include “Til We Have Faces.”

I read that book decades ago, and I remembered it as my favorite fiction by C S Lewis.  I could no longer remember details, but I remember it as drawing me in, not intellectually, as much as speaking to my spirit.  I decided to reread it.  I got a copy on Sunday and have read it over the past 3 days while doing numerous other things.  This morning, I decided to stay in my pajamas until I finished it.  It seems to me that the point of the book is not intellectual understanding, but a deep piercing into one’s soul.

There is certainly much to be derived for one’s intellect.  I could write of how each of the types of love Lewis describes in his book “The Four Loves” is demonstrated in “Til We Have Face.”  Questions asked in this work, echo questions asked in his nonfiction book “The Problem of Pain.”  I could explain how the book has multiple layers of allegory.  By that I mean that there are multiple allegories in play, and that some of the characters are representative of more than one person or concept.  I could talk about the symbolism of the veil which hides the main character’s face.  Lewis also deals with the meaning of being a woman, her role in life, and the difficulties imposed by society’s expectations of women.  One could write a book that was just a literary analysis of this novel.

However, looking at it as a mental exercise would miss the impact of allowing the book to search one’s soul.  If you read it, allow yourself to consider the ways in which we humans foolishly shake our fists in God’s face and demand answers of Him.  How do we attempt to hide our own sinful ugliness from a God who sees and knows all?  What does it take for us to acknowledge we are sinners as we stand before the Almighty?

Don’t be tempted to read the last page before you get to it naturally.  Allow yourself to be drawn to the conclusion along with the main character.  Question and suffer along with her.  Search your own soul.  I cried as I read the final paragraph.

Justice vs Mercy

Given the current rhetoric regarding aliens in our land, I think it would be wise for believers in Christ to consider that we have a God who is both just and merciful.

Does God command that we care for the vulnerable…the aliens in our land?  Yes, He does.  God is merciful and wants us to be also.

Does God also condemn those who murder, rape, and lead children astray?  Yes, He does.  God is just. 

It is also clear that we as individuals are not to take justice into our own hands.  Scripture makes it clear that God allows people to come into authority positions to act on our behalf to protect us.   Can that kind of power be corrupted?  Of course.  However, we are commanded to defer to authorities.  The scripture that instructs this was written during a time of cruel oppression by the Roman government…oppression such as we in America do not know, have not experienced.

Do we as outside observers to the actions of law enforcement authorities always have a clear picture of whether their actions are against the vulnerable or against those who are evil?  No…we don’t!

Only God can perfectly balance justice and mercy.  We humans are far too prone to insert our own agenda into situations.  I certainly wish that everyone would stop posting their viewpoints on social media.  It only incites anger and doesn’t change anyone’s mind.  The recent events seem to be interpreted in the light of individuals’ political leanings, more than their spiritual convictions.  People accept the slant of whatever TV station they watch, because they are not actual observers of the events.

Unless you have firsthand knowledge, you have no right to comment.  Even then, unless you have learned how to perfectly balance justice and mercy be very careful which viewpoint you espouse.  Both God’s justice and His mercy are motivated by love.  I’m afraid most of the angry voices on each side, don’t have a clue what that means.

Jonathan's Example

Jonathan went to David…and helped him find strength in God.  I Samuel 23:16

I love the picture this verse creates.  David was in distress trying to get away from Saul who wanted to kill him. Even though he was Saul’s son, Jonathan was a dear friend who met with David to encourage him and remind him of God’s provision and care.

This should be our role towards those who share our faith.  The world is a pretty frightening place.  It is often hostile to our belief in a Creator and Redeemer.  It is easy to lose heart and become discouraged.  One of the things which keeps me believing is that I know so many people who are intelligent and wise and who share my belief in a loving personal God.  They set an example for me by both their words and actions.  I do not want to be like the angry shouting crowd.  I admire those who have a steady, kindly spirit.

Jonathan shared his faith and used their friendship to encourage David.  Let us follow that example.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together…but encouraging one another.   Hebrews 10:23-25

When?

Through a glass darkly,

I long to see your face.

With the finger of my faith,

I can only trace,

A shadow of reality,

A sliver of your grace.

 

Trapped in my humanity,

Imprisoned by my flesh,

The longing to break free,

Swells within my breast.

I groan with all creation,

To stand among the blessed.

 

The final consummation

That banishes the sin,

That so easily besets me

And tortures me within.

I long for your appearing.

When, my Savior, when?

Concern for my "Reputation"

Sometimes I think I am back in junior high school, even though I am at a retirement community.

It has been pointed out to me by multiple people that they have seen me sitting with a man in church.  I have, in fact, sat with this man and his girlfriend for most of the past three years, which no one seems to have noticed.  When I lost Bill, my neighbor B.H. noticed me sitting alone in church.  He told me that he and his girlfriend J.V. would be happy to have me sit with them.  This was a great kindness to me.  But, J.V. died this summer.  Should I abandon B.H. when he has just lost the person he loved?  He was kind to me when I lost the person I loved.  I think it would be unkind and rude to sit elsewhere…so…I guess people can continue to talk.

I can give them plenty more tidbits, if they need them.  I have recently accepted rides home on the golf cart of B.B.  This has resulted in some meaningful conversation.  I sometimes email P.D., often with prayer requests.  I go out of my way to check and see if G.G. is at his garden.  When I switched gardens, he expressed sadness that I was no longer in the garden adjacent to his and, therefore, no longer available to talk to him.  So, I now look for him.  At Christmas time, I take cookies to W.S. and B.L. and J.I. if he is not out of town. This is a tradition that began when their wives and my Bill were alive.  I see no reason to quit. 

 When interacting with another widow, I can hug her, hold her hand while praying with her, invite her to my apartment for a meal, suggest we get together at the Café or one of the onsite restaurants.  I would not do any of these things with an unattached man.  But, I can offer kindness and conversation.

I am not now and never have been a flirt.  I am not “on the prowl” trying to add some man to my life.  Do I enjoy the company of men?  Yes…I always have.  I had brothers, no sisters.  My only girl cousin died in childhood, so I had all boy cousins.  When the family gathered at my maternal grandparents’ home, the women sat in the kitchen talking, while the men sat in the living room.  Little Ruthie sat in the living room with the men.  The conversation there was much more interesting. 

I had lots of “brothers” in both high school and college.  Sometimes, I thought I knew them better than their girlfriends did.  They didn’t need to project a certain image with me.  I majored in chemistry in college, and at that time, it was dominated by males.  I had no problem being the only female in the room.

At my last full-time job, I coordinated our hospital’s participation in an NCI funded prostate cancer research project.  I had 34 men enrolled and saw them twice a year for 8 years. I was careful to maintain a professional approach.  At the beginning, the men were sometimes accompanied by their wives or girlfriends.  When that no longer happened, I figured the women knew they could trust me.

I always believed flirtation was manipulative and dishonest.  I didn’t even engage in it with Bill.  After we had dated several months, he said, “You know, I wouldn’t mind if you flirted with me.”   After we were married, it was a different story.   I loved to flirt with him.  One of my daughters recently remarked that when we washed windows, he would wash the outside, and I would wash the inside, and we would flirt with each other through the glass.  I do not flirt with any other window washers.

So, men are absolutely safe with me.   I am 80 years old, and it is too late to alter my behavior.   I will continue to enjoy conversation with men and even sit with them if it seems like the right thing to do.

It’s actually pretty amusing that this could even be a concern at my age.  Ha!

Charlie Kirk

Before Charlie Kirk was killed, I had no knowledge about him.  I had never even heard of him, but I am not a young person on a college campus.  I am an eighty-year-old living in a retirement community most of the year.  Over the past 2 days, I have read about and seen news segments about Charlie Kirk.  I recognize that he is a polarizing figure.

It is interesting to me that people can look at the same individual and see two very different people.  One group sees him as a kind, thoughtful, intelligent man who had the ability to speak truth and engage in discussion.  The opposite camp sees him as mean and hateful.  How can this be the same person?

It appears to me that those who were in close personal relationships are the ones who see him as kind and thoughtful.  It is those who disagree with what he boldly proclaimed that see him as hateful.

I am not a MAGA person, although I do tend toward conservative viewpoints.  I agree with some Trump policies and not others.  I could refer you to a blog I wrote years ago in which I expressed horror that Trump was to be the Republican candidate, so obviously I would not be in total agreement with Kirk’s support of Trump, but I do believe that Kirk was a truth-teller.

When a person hears someone express that their lifestyle is wrong, sinful or immoral, they don’t want to hear it.  If they defiantly hold to their position, they become angry.  They perceive the truthteller as hateful.  Over the course of my life, I have had some experience with this.  I have at times been hated for telling the truth.  However, I can also think of someone who later thanked me for speaking the truth when no one else would.  It had made a difference in her life.

At the point where Kirk was shot, he had just been questioned about how many transgender individuals had been involved in mass shootings.  Someone has viewed his response as “flippant.”  That is not what I hear when I listen to the video.  He obviously could not have answered the question he was asked with a specific number.  After the follow-up question, he asked a question for clarification.  If this is what triggered the shot, the individual was just looking for an excuse to fire…which given the amount of preparation required was almost certainly the case.

I believe all human beings deserve compassion, and that includes transgender people.  But we need to be honest, that transgenderism is harmful to the people who are practicing this lifestyle.  Promoting it and normalizing it is not helpful to anyone.  I do not believe that suicide rates are higher among transgenders because they are not accepted by society.  I believe they cannot accept themselves.  When we hate ourselves, the hatred bubbles over to others.

Our nation is being torn in two by opposing viewpoints.  The answer to this is not violence.  I am appalled by calls for civil war.  We cannot answer violence with violence, but I do fear for what may happen.  Our society is on a wrong path.  Things I believe to be truth are being called “hate speech.”   Most conservatives have tolerated angry rhetoric, because we live in a country where we are supposed to have free speech.  Apparently, conservatives are not granted the same privilege.

“For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine.  Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.  They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.  But you, keep your head in all situations…”  II Timothy 4:3-5

What Am I?

What am I that you are mindful of me?

            You count the hairs on my head,

            You care if I’m clothed and I’m fed,

            You were willing to die in my stead.

            What am I?

 

            You count me as one of your sheep,

            You watch over me while I sleep,

            You bottle my tears when I weep.

            What am I?

           

            A recipient of your grace,

            Though unworthy to look on your face,

            In heaven, you’ve saved me a place.

            What am I?

 

            Though no worthy offering I bring,

            Yet to this precious promise I cling,

            What am I?

            I am a child of the King.