The Day I Almost Ran Away

Once when I was a little girl, I had a dog…a wonderful mutt of a dog.  He was about the size of a German shepherd and probably had that breed in him along with several others.  He was mostly white with black and brown splotches.  He had floppy ears like a beagle, and his face was beagle-shaped.  His tail looped up in German shepherd fashion.  He was of a very gentle disposition, but was protective of me.

He appeared in our neighborhood out of nowhere.  We lived out in the country, and my parents figured that someone didn’t want him anymore and just dropped him off and abandoned him.  He attached himself to me, and I adored him.  We took him in, and I named him Skippy.  He slept every night on the throw rug next to my bed.  When I played outside, he hung around.  If I walked somewhere, he went along. The only time he ever made me angry was the day I saw him trotting through the back yard with a rabbit in his mouth.  I didn’t feed him that night.

However, he did make others angry, specifically my parents and the neighbors.  It seems that Skippy was a bit over-sexed.  If there was a female dog in heat anywhere in the neighborhood, he was there fighting off other dogs.  He would come home with injuries from these altercations.  If we tried to keep him inside to prevent these incidents, he would howl loudly….all night long if he thought it necessary.  On those nights, he did not sleep next to my bed.  My Dad would lock him in the basement, but that did not prevent the howling, and it made my Dad furious, because he needed to get up at 5 AM to get to his job.

My parents put up with this quirk for a couple of years, but when he broke down the neighbor’s cellar door to get at their female in heat, it was the last straw.  My parents informed me that we could not be having trouble with the neighbors over Skippy’s bad behavior.  My Dad said he would take him to the pound.  My parents tried to convince me that he was such a nice dog that someone else would adopt him.  In my heart, I feared the worst.  I was inconsolable, even when I was promised that I could have one of the puppies that had resulted from his breaking and entering the neighbor’s cellar.

The night before he was to leave us, he slept next to my bed oblivious to his fate.  I lay in bed crying and trying to figure out if there was a way for me to run away with him.  No matter how hard I thought about it, or how hard I cried, I couldn’t imagine how Skippy and I would find food and shelter.  He could hunt rabbits, but what would I eat?  Where would we sleep at night?  How would we stay warm?  My heart was broken the next day when he obediently got into the car with my Dad, and he was gone forever.

I picked a sweet little female from the litter…the one who looked the most like him.  She was a smaller dog and slept in the chair next to my bed.  Queenie was a nice dog….but she wasn’t Skippy.   

I never told my parents how much I had wanted to run away.   I don’t think they ever knew how badly I hurt….but here I am thinking about it with sadness 60 years later.

Advice Regarding Genius

The news is currently reporting yet another child who is a "genius," perhaps smarter than Einstein.  Every time I see such things, I cringe.  If the parent is seeking publicity for a pre-schooler with a high IQ, a couple of mistakes have already been made.

Here is my advice on the subject.

1.       Do NOT have the IQ measured.  It is best if you and the child do NOT know.  There is nothing to be gained by having that number to cite.

2.       Do NOT seek publicity or join Mensa.  It can't possibly help the child.

3.       Homeschool the child allowing him/her to explore his/her interests, using non-traditional methods, but also making sure all the bases are covered.  Don't allow the child's knowledge base to become lop-sided.

4.       Aggressively seek out opportunities for socialization through the Y, clubs, church activities, neighborhood friends.  School is not a good setting for socialization.  It just means your child's schoolmates are slapped in the face with his/her brilliance every day, and your child is confused because his supposed peers aren't peers at all.

5.       Do not push the child in order to satisfy your own ego.  Wait until the child asks to take college courses, even if it is 2 or 3 years later than you think the child could handle it.

6.      Make sure the child does things which are physically active.  You don’t need to push a sport, but don’t neglect the physical in an attempt to develop the intellectual.

7.  Don't fail to help the child understand that there is no reason for arrogance.  He/she was given a gift and could just have easily been born without it.  He/she is responsible to use that gift wisely for the benefit of others.

AND
No matter how smart you are, the odds are good that there is someone somewhere who is actually smarter.

Not All Valentine’s Days Are Created Equal

Many Valentines celebrations have included a lovely dinner out….sometimes at a Sweetheart Banquet or among a group of good friends with whom there has been abundant laughter.   Some years, including this one, my honey has given me a beautiful arrangement of flowers.  Some years in our youth, the evening ended with me donning some special lingerie.  But, there have been other years when kids were sick or something unexpected made a shambles of our plans.

This year, my 96 year old father-in-law is living with us, and he can’t be left alone.  I didn’t want to ask anyone else to come and stay with him lest I mess up their Valentine plans.  So, I used Valentine napkins on the table, had my husband grill a steak out in the snow, made the meal colorful with fresh strawberries instead of a salad, and served a very pretty store-bought Valentine cake.  I don’t remember when I have ever purchased a cake instead of making one….but this year is different.  We are both tired and stressed.  We spent last evening in the ER with my father-in-law.

When we signed on for a life-time commitment to each other, we knew that every day wouldn’t be like a page from a romance novel.  If we had consciously thought about it, we would have known that every Valentines Day would not be special “us” time.  Tonight we are sitting on the sofa…each of us on our laptops.  My father-in-law is listening to his favorite channel on TV…which is NOT our favorite channel.  He has headphones on, but the sound is still so loud that we can hear it through his headphones across the room. 

But we still have what we did sign on for…doing things together, supporting each other through tough times, keeping a sense of humor, and extracting whatever sliver of enjoyment we can from whatever life throws at us.

Happy Valentines Day

Electra by Euripides

Electra was the daughter of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra.  When Agamemnon returned from the Trojan War, he was murdered by Clytemnestra and her lover Aegisthus, who then took over the throne.  Electra and her brother Orestes were small children at the time.  Because of fear that Aegisthus would kill Orestes, who might grow up to avenge his father, Orestes was spirited away to be raised in another country where he would be safe.  When Electra grew to adulthood, she had many suitors of noble birth, but Aegisthus married her off to a peasant.  His reasoning was that if she married someone of nobility, she might have a son who would grow up to avenge his grandfather Agamemnon.

The play begins with Electra living in squalor in the peasant’s hut, having to carrying her own water from the well, and make her own clothes.  However, the peasant, although impoverished, is a man of noble character.  He has not consummated the marriage, because he knows he is unworthy of Electra and understands why she was given in marriage to him.

Meanwhile, Orestes has grown to manhood and has returned to Argos to avenge his father’s murder.  He meets Electra, but does not immediately identify himself to her saying the he is a friend of Orestes.  Since they were parted as children, she does not recognize him.  After some conversation during which Electra tells Orestes her sad tale, the peasant comes home.  When he finds out that this man is a “friend” of Orestes, he invites him into his humble home.  Electra sends her peasant husband to her former caregiver, who is now an old man, for some provisions to entertain the guests.  When the old man arrives, he recognizes Orestes.  The old man was the one who saved Orestes’ life.  Orestes is now revealed to Electra as her brother.

Electra and Orestes plot together as to how they will kill Aegisthus and Clytemnestra.  The old man knows that Aegisthus is currently at his stables without armed guards.  Orestes goes off to kill him.  Electra sends word to her mother that she has just had a baby, knowing this will cause her mother to come visit her.  Although there is some stricken conscience popping up, Orestes, with encouragement from Electra, also dispatches their mother.

Electra and Orestes are now pretty horrified with what they have done.  But the Dioscuri (Castor and Polydeuces, who are gods and brothers of Clytemnestra) show up and basically say that this was fated and all will be well in the end.

Interesting quotes:

Peasant:  …whoso counts me but a fool for leaving a tender maid untouched when I have her in my house, to him I say, he measures purity by the vicious standard of his own soul, a standard like himself.

Electra’s response to the peasant:…tis rare fortune when mortals find such healing balm for their cruel wounds as ‘tis my lot to find in thee.

There is a touching mutual respect and affection portrayed in these characters.  The peasant is not nobility but is noble.

Orestes later expounds on the concept of nobility.  Saying that a noble sire may produce a worthless child, and evil parents may produce virtuous children.  By what standard then shall we rightly judge these things?  …learn to judge men by their converse, and by their habits decide who are noble.

Orestes: …else must we cease to believe in gods, if wrong is to triumph o’er right.  This is, of course, one of the arguments for believing there is no God.  A loving god would not allow the evil that occurs in the world.  We, however, are mortal and do not see the big picture or the future.

An interesting comment about the law and justice:  And this shall be the law for all posterity; in every trial the accused shall win his case if the votes are equal.  (spoken by the Dioscuri) I suppose this is a precursor of proof beyond a reasonable doubt.

The play ends with an assurance from the Dioscuri that the gods are on the side of the just.  Yet as we fly through heaven’s expanse, we help not the wicked; but whoso in his life loves piety and justice, all such we free from troublous toils and save.  If one were to believe this, then he would constantly be shunning those who have difficulty in life believing they were being punished for some hidden wrong doing.  That would be the viewpoint of Job’s miserable friends.

There is a whole lot in life we don’t understand!