The Pursuit of Happiness

We are all (or we all should be) familiar with the fact that the Declaration of Independence says we are entitled to “the pursuit of happiness.”  Please note:  It does not say we will all achieve it…only that we have a right to pursue it.

I have been wondering lately if the pursuit of happiness is a worthy goal. I pondered the idea this morning from a bath tub filled with warm water, which is one of my “happy places.” We all want to be happy, but can we be happy, if that is what we are attempting to achieve?

My daughter-in-law recently posted a video clip of her baby.  She can be heard singing in the background to the tune of “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands.”  However, she has altered the words to “If You’re Happy and You Know it, Eat Your Hands.”  As she sings, her 3-month old daughter chews on her fists and fingers, obviously pursuing pleasure.  But then, she removes her hands from her mouth to smile at her mother.  There are multiple cycles of this as the song is sung through once.  Now, if the little sweetie was alone in her crib and chewing on her hands, would she remove them from her mouth and grin aimlessly at nothing and no one?  I doubt it.  Her happiness is not in the pleasurable sensation of fingers in the mouth; it is in interaction with her mother.  Although her mother’s face is not visible, you know as you listen, that she is smiling and almost laughing as she sings.  So, the baby’s pursuit of happiness is not what is actually making her happy.  It is her mother’s love and delight in her to which she responds with such a happy face.

I have heard of elderly men and women whose spouses are in nursing homes and no longer recognize them.  They feel they should not have to be lonely, and that they should be able to pursue happiness by dating someone else.  I also know of people who have faithfully visited their incapacitated spouse or cared for them at home themselves in order to keep their marriage vow and pour back into their spouse’s life, the love they have received from them.  While acknowledging their loneliness, they have felt right about their commitment.  Which situation actually produces happiness?  I can’t answer that question.  I haven’t been there.  But, I suspect those who are faithful have an inner peace that makes mere happiness trivial.

I know of a woman who broke up a friend’s marriage and married her friend’s husband.  She said that they had “a right to be happy.”  Did they?  Is the pursuit of our own happiness to be our chief goal in life?  Are we to pursue our own happiness at the expense of someone else’s happiness?

Nowhere in the Bible are we told to pursue happiness.  II Timothy 2:22, however, tells us to “pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.”

While I was having my nice happy soak in the tub this morning, I started to sing a song I learned as a child.  I couldn’t quite remember all of the lyrics, so I looked them up.

"Happiness Is The Lord"
By Ira Stanphill

Happiness is to know the Savior, 
Living a life within His favor
Having a change in my behavior, 
Happiness is the Lord

Happiness is a new creation, 
Jesus and me in close relation
Having a part in His salvation, 
Happiness is the Lord

Real joy is mine,
no matter if teardrops start
I've found the secret 
It's Jesus in my heart
Happiness is to be forgiven, 
Living a life that's worth the livin'
Taking a trip that leads to heaven,
Happiness is the Lord

This is, of course, not the perspective of most of the world, but I have made it mine.  This will be my pursuit.

Inside My Head

Sometimes when I lay awake at night, strange thoughts float around in my head, which in the light of day seem even stranger….or are they more profound?

Last night I was pondering the fact that none of us really knows anyone else.  We see the blob of organic material that represents another person visually.  We hear the person’s voice and think we have connected with the other in conversation.  But, if I am typical….which, of course, I may not be….we are full of thoughts and ideas which are never verbalized.  I do not know what other people think when they see me.  I do not know how they interpret what I say.  I do know there is a whole lot more that goes on inside of me than what I am able to express in words or by actions.  I don’t know if it is safe to assume that others are like me, since I can’t know what is inside their heads any more than they can know what is in mine.

During the course of a day, I write stories and create dialogue for them, but I never expect to publish the vast majority of what my brain generates.  I explore the possibility of various creative projects and discard many of these ideas as impractical.  I daydream about various goals I could set for myself and shrug off most as unattainable.  I talk to God with great frequency about the people and events that I encounter during the day.  I have varying degrees of success in my quest to turn my thoughts of people into prayers for them.  Sometimes I get sucked into internal gossip.  I let my thoughts wander into criticism of others and their conduct, instead of my more worthy goal of praying for them.  I agonize over how I can best help people I see struggling.  If I tried to help would it be viewed as meddling?  Or crippling them with too much assistance? Or would I outright offend them?

I have heard someone refer to what goes on in some people’s heads as “white noise.” I don’t begin to understand that.  It is very difficult for me to shift my brain into neutral.  I am thankful for the “down time” of sleep….which brings me back to the fact that all of the mental gymnastics here described were happening last night about 3:30 AM when I should have been sleeping.

I may be paraphrasing some here, but my son once said to me, “Sometimes I think about the fact that I am thinking.  Then when I think about the fact that I am thinking about thinking….well, that could drive a person crazy.”

So if I don’t know what you’re really thinking, and you don’t know what I’m thinking, how can we really know each other?  I guess we have to content ourselves with what we do know for now, and appreciate that at least God knows us…. even better than we know ourselves.

Otherwise it’s off to the loony bin.

Dawning of a New Day

The morning dawns,

Gray and humid.

Fluttering leaves

Belie a gentle breeze.

A new day

Stretches before me,

All unknown.

I sit motionless.

The breeze increases.

But I am waiting

For life to happen.

Looking into the void.

Shall I remain still

And melt into the gray?

Or shall I jump up

And fly on the breeze?

I teeter on the edge.

Indecisive. Hesitant.

The wind can’t decide

Which way it wants to blow.

Gravity favors the gray.

It could carry me

Spiraling downward

Into increasing darkness.

But I can choose,

To climb aboard the breeze,

Lofting upward

Toward the sun.

Heracles Mad

This play is a real “downer.”  I can imagine what it would feel like to leave the theater after watching this performed!

Heracles has gone to Hades on one of his assigned tasks and has not returned for a lengthy period of time.  While he has been gone, his wife’s father Creon has been killed by Lycus, who has taken over the kingdom of Thebes.  Lycus plans to kill Megara, the wife of Heracles, and their three sons, as well as Amphitryon, who is Heracles’ father….well, at least, sort of his father.  Heracles was born after Amphitryon shared his wife with Zeus, so it is believed that Heracles is actually son of Zeus, and therefore, half god.  This, of course, means that Hera, wife of Zeus, is no fan of Heracles.

Amphitryon, Megara, and the three young sons plead before the altar of Zeus for help and rescue.  When it does not appear to be forthcoming, they decide to die with dignity.  They don burial clothes with the intent of surrendering themselves to Lycus.  However, in the nick of time, Heracles returns.  He surprises Lycus and kills him saving his family from death at the hand of Lycus.

But….at this point Madness arrives on an errand for Hera.  She does not really want to do what has been asked of her, but she gives in to the will of the goddess.  Madness possesses Heracles, and he himself kills his wife and three sons.  He falls and hits his head and is knocked unconscious.  While he is out cold, his father has him bound, lest he inflict more carnage if he awakes still in a mad state.

When he awakens, he is again rationale and distraught over what he has done.  He believes life to no longer be worth living.  At this point, Theseus arrives.  Heracles has, in the past, done an enormous favor for Theseus, so Theseus now is willing to stand by his friend in spite of what he had done.  After some discussion, he convinces Heracles to come home with him, and Amphitryon is left to bury his daughter-in-law and grandsons.

Commentary throughout the play comes from a chorus of elderly men, who bemoan the frailty of age, and the fact that they can no longer defend the weak and stand up for what is right.

Interesting quotes:

Megara:  …how uncertain are God’s dealing with man…

                …the man who wrestles with necessity, I esteem a fool.

                …what must be, no one will ever avail to alter.

Amphitryon:  The bravest man is he who relieth ever on his hopes, but despair is the mark of a coward.

                O Zeus….either thou art a god of little sense, or else naturally unjust

Chorus:  Had the gods shown discernment and wisdom, as mortals count these things, men would have gotten youth twice over, a visible mark of worth amongst whomsoever found….the mean man would have had but a single portion of life; and thus would it have been possible to distinguish the good and the bad….

Heracles:  For the deity, if he be really such, has no wants; these are miserable fictions of the poets.

I find this last quote particularly interesting.  Euripides apparently had some understanding that a true “God” would be complete in Himself.  He would not be dependent on man for anything.  He would not have had to create man.  He would not have needed adoration.  He would be the “I Am” that is described in the Bible.  This is the God I believe in…..eternally existent, all-powerful, who created man by His choice knowing He would also have to redeem man.  He does not “need” our adoration, but He is worthy of it.