In Love with Autumn

Oh, autumn, I am so in love with you!

Every sense responds to your embrace.

The crunch of dry leaves under my feet,

The honk of geese heading south,

The riotous palette of colors,

The tingle of fresh-pressed cider,

The aroma of garden tomatoes simmering into sauce.

You surround me with a coolness that invigorates.

I pull my sweaters out of storage,

Snuggle under the blankets at night.

Savor spicy chili at suppertime.

My mind revs to a higher speed.

I want to think new thoughts.

How many more autumns will I see?

Will twenty be enough?

If I was dying in August,

Would I hang on hoping for one more?

How could I ever leave you, autumn?

Your beauty refreshes my life.

Some associate spring with new life,

Winter with death, and autumn

As winter’s precursor, is depressing.

But I love you, even as bare trees

Are stark against the few remaining

Splashes of color and dark evergreens.

In your lingering days, as you fade,

You slide me gently into other arms.

Thanksgiving brings family.

I rise early to roast the turkey

And see the blaze of sunrise,

Through your barren branches.

By the time you have left me,

I am embraced by the holiday season.

You have slipped away with such stealth,

That your departure is not painful.

But my love for you is never-ending,

And I will welcome your return.

Oh, autumn, I am so in love with you!

The End of Human History

When human history is over, God will be totally justified in how He deals with mankind.  He has given us every opportunity to seek and find Him, and we collectively have failed.

At first, God gave us a set of rigid laws to follow.  The Jews were not only given the Ten Commandments, but many detailed rituals were prescribed.  Although specific punishments were also to be meted out for infractions, and judgments fell for disobedience, man found many creative ways to disobey and attempt to assert his independence from God.  Mankind in general refused to come to God through rules and sacrificial ritual. 

From the beginning of time, however, God knew He would reach out to us in another way, and so, He changed His approach.  Instead of detailed rules, He set forth the law of love.  He demonstrated the change through Christ, who became the ultimate sacrifice.  The sinless One died for our sin, and we entered the age of grace.  God, who knows our hearts, is more interested in our motives than in our specific actions.  But, mankind finds many creative ways to abuse this grace, and we shake our collective fist in the face of God.

God bides His time and watches.  We have refused to come to Him in repentance either through the law or through grace.  He has given the human race both opportunities, and we have persisted in our desire to set ourselves up as our own gods.  We want no sense of responsibility to Him.  Many in our culture even deny His existence.

But, He does have a claim on us.  He did create us and loves each of us uniquely.  He values each of us individually.  We are our brothers’ keepers.  How great must be His grief when we abuse and take advantage of one another.  Human cruelty and hatred knows no bounds, in contrast to God’s boundless love and mercy.

How will any of us be able to stand, when at the end of human history, the Lion roars?

The Pursuit of Happiness

We are all (or we all should be) familiar with the fact that the Declaration of Independence says we are entitled to “the pursuit of happiness.”  Please note:  It does not say we will all achieve it…only that we have a right to pursue it.

I have been wondering lately if the pursuit of happiness is a worthy goal. I pondered the idea this morning from a bath tub filled with warm water, which is one of my “happy places.” We all want to be happy, but can we be happy, if that is what we are attempting to achieve?

My daughter-in-law recently posted a video clip of her baby.  She can be heard singing in the background to the tune of “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands.”  However, she has altered the words to “If You’re Happy and You Know it, Eat Your Hands.”  As she sings, her 3-month old daughter chews on her fists and fingers, obviously pursuing pleasure.  But then, she removes her hands from her mouth to smile at her mother.  There are multiple cycles of this as the song is sung through once.  Now, if the little sweetie was alone in her crib and chewing on her hands, would she remove them from her mouth and grin aimlessly at nothing and no one?  I doubt it.  Her happiness is not in the pleasurable sensation of fingers in the mouth; it is in interaction with her mother.  Although her mother’s face is not visible, you know as you listen, that she is smiling and almost laughing as she sings.  So, the baby’s pursuit of happiness is not what is actually making her happy.  It is her mother’s love and delight in her to which she responds with such a happy face.

I have heard of elderly men and women whose spouses are in nursing homes and no longer recognize them.  They feel they should not have to be lonely, and that they should be able to pursue happiness by dating someone else.  I also know of people who have faithfully visited their incapacitated spouse or cared for them at home themselves in order to keep their marriage vow and pour back into their spouse’s life, the love they have received from them.  While acknowledging their loneliness, they have felt right about their commitment.  Which situation actually produces happiness?  I can’t answer that question.  I haven’t been there.  But, I suspect those who are faithful have an inner peace that makes mere happiness trivial.

I know of a woman who broke up a friend’s marriage and married her friend’s husband.  She said that they had “a right to be happy.”  Did they?  Is the pursuit of our own happiness to be our chief goal in life?  Are we to pursue our own happiness at the expense of someone else’s happiness?

Nowhere in the Bible are we told to pursue happiness.  II Timothy 2:22, however, tells us to “pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.”

While I was having my nice happy soak in the tub this morning, I started to sing a song I learned as a child.  I couldn’t quite remember all of the lyrics, so I looked them up.

"Happiness Is The Lord"
By Ira Stanphill

Happiness is to know the Savior, 
Living a life within His favor
Having a change in my behavior, 
Happiness is the Lord

Happiness is a new creation, 
Jesus and me in close relation
Having a part in His salvation, 
Happiness is the Lord

Real joy is mine,
no matter if teardrops start
I've found the secret 
It's Jesus in my heart
Happiness is to be forgiven, 
Living a life that's worth the livin'
Taking a trip that leads to heaven,
Happiness is the Lord

This is, of course, not the perspective of most of the world, but I have made it mine.  This will be my pursuit.

Inside My Head

Sometimes when I lay awake at night, strange thoughts float around in my head, which in the light of day seem even stranger….or are they more profound?

Last night I was pondering the fact that none of us really knows anyone else.  We see the blob of organic material that represents another person visually.  We hear the person’s voice and think we have connected with the other in conversation.  But, if I am typical….which, of course, I may not be….we are full of thoughts and ideas which are never verbalized.  I do not know what other people think when they see me.  I do not know how they interpret what I say.  I do know there is a whole lot more that goes on inside of me than what I am able to express in words or by actions.  I don’t know if it is safe to assume that others are like me, since I can’t know what is inside their heads any more than they can know what is in mine.

During the course of a day, I write stories and create dialogue for them, but I never expect to publish the vast majority of what my brain generates.  I explore the possibility of various creative projects and discard many of these ideas as impractical.  I daydream about various goals I could set for myself and shrug off most as unattainable.  I talk to God with great frequency about the people and events that I encounter during the day.  I have varying degrees of success in my quest to turn my thoughts of people into prayers for them.  Sometimes I get sucked into internal gossip.  I let my thoughts wander into criticism of others and their conduct, instead of my more worthy goal of praying for them.  I agonize over how I can best help people I see struggling.  If I tried to help would it be viewed as meddling?  Or crippling them with too much assistance? Or would I outright offend them?

I have heard someone refer to what goes on in some people’s heads as “white noise.” I don’t begin to understand that.  It is very difficult for me to shift my brain into neutral.  I am thankful for the “down time” of sleep….which brings me back to the fact that all of the mental gymnastics here described were happening last night about 3:30 AM when I should have been sleeping.

I may be paraphrasing some here, but my son once said to me, “Sometimes I think about the fact that I am thinking.  Then when I think about the fact that I am thinking about thinking….well, that could drive a person crazy.”

So if I don’t know what you’re really thinking, and you don’t know what I’m thinking, how can we really know each other?  I guess we have to content ourselves with what we do know for now, and appreciate that at least God knows us…. even better than we know ourselves.

Otherwise it’s off to the loony bin.

Dawning of a New Day

The morning dawns,

Gray and humid.

Fluttering leaves

Belie a gentle breeze.

A new day

Stretches before me,

All unknown.

I sit motionless.

The breeze increases.

But I am waiting

For life to happen.

Looking into the void.

Shall I remain still

And melt into the gray?

Or shall I jump up

And fly on the breeze?

I teeter on the edge.

Indecisive. Hesitant.

The wind can’t decide

Which way it wants to blow.

Gravity favors the gray.

It could carry me

Spiraling downward

Into increasing darkness.

But I can choose,

To climb aboard the breeze,

Lofting upward

Toward the sun.

Heracles Mad

This play is a real “downer.”  I can imagine what it would feel like to leave the theater after watching this performed!

Heracles has gone to Hades on one of his assigned tasks and has not returned for a lengthy period of time.  While he has been gone, his wife’s father Creon has been killed by Lycus, who has taken over the kingdom of Thebes.  Lycus plans to kill Megara, the wife of Heracles, and their three sons, as well as Amphitryon, who is Heracles’ father….well, at least, sort of his father.  Heracles was born after Amphitryon shared his wife with Zeus, so it is believed that Heracles is actually son of Zeus, and therefore, half god.  This, of course, means that Hera, wife of Zeus, is no fan of Heracles.

Amphitryon, Megara, and the three young sons plead before the altar of Zeus for help and rescue.  When it does not appear to be forthcoming, they decide to die with dignity.  They don burial clothes with the intent of surrendering themselves to Lycus.  However, in the nick of time, Heracles returns.  He surprises Lycus and kills him saving his family from death at the hand of Lycus.

But….at this point Madness arrives on an errand for Hera.  She does not really want to do what has been asked of her, but she gives in to the will of the goddess.  Madness possesses Heracles, and he himself kills his wife and three sons.  He falls and hits his head and is knocked unconscious.  While he is out cold, his father has him bound, lest he inflict more carnage if he awakes still in a mad state.

When he awakens, he is again rationale and distraught over what he has done.  He believes life to no longer be worth living.  At this point, Theseus arrives.  Heracles has, in the past, done an enormous favor for Theseus, so Theseus now is willing to stand by his friend in spite of what he had done.  After some discussion, he convinces Heracles to come home with him, and Amphitryon is left to bury his daughter-in-law and grandsons.

Commentary throughout the play comes from a chorus of elderly men, who bemoan the frailty of age, and the fact that they can no longer defend the weak and stand up for what is right.

Interesting quotes:

Megara:  …how uncertain are God’s dealing with man…

                …the man who wrestles with necessity, I esteem a fool.

                …what must be, no one will ever avail to alter.

Amphitryon:  The bravest man is he who relieth ever on his hopes, but despair is the mark of a coward.

                O Zeus….either thou art a god of little sense, or else naturally unjust

Chorus:  Had the gods shown discernment and wisdom, as mortals count these things, men would have gotten youth twice over, a visible mark of worth amongst whomsoever found….the mean man would have had but a single portion of life; and thus would it have been possible to distinguish the good and the bad….

Heracles:  For the deity, if he be really such, has no wants; these are miserable fictions of the poets.

I find this last quote particularly interesting.  Euripides apparently had some understanding that a true “God” would be complete in Himself.  He would not be dependent on man for anything.  He would not have had to create man.  He would not have needed adoration.  He would be the “I Am” that is described in the Bible.  This is the God I believe in…..eternally existent, all-powerful, who created man by His choice knowing He would also have to redeem man.  He does not “need” our adoration, but He is worthy of it.

Teaching Someone to Write

Recently I was asked if I would be interested in tutoring a student who is having difficulty writing college essays.  Since I have not yet met the student, I am not breaching any confidentiality by writing this piece.  My mind immediately began working on the possible reasons for a student to have difficulty writing essays.

First, there might be difficulty with basic mechanics.  Students do actually graduate from high school still unable to construct a complete sentence and with no concept of varying sentence structure to make their writing more interesting.  Through the miracle of spell and grammar check, some of these problems can be found and corrected, but these checks are not perfect.  Some understanding of the basics is still required.  Having recently encountered multiple English teachers who do not know how to identify a direct object, it does not surprise me that the students they produce have difficulty.

Second, a well-written essay should have some structure and logic.  When I home-schooled my son, I would say, “Nail your argument to the wall!”  In other words, prove your premise with enough supporting statements that the reader can logically follow along with your thinking.  I have sometimes said that if I ever taught any subject in a classroom again, I would be tempted to begin with a lesson or two on logic which seems to be sorely lacking in our society.

There is, however, another possibility.  The student may need to “psyche out” the teacher in order to receive a decent grade.  I took a creative writing course while in college and spent the first half of the course totally frustrated at my inability to get an A.  Eventually, I started thinking about the teacher’s personality and the way in which she presented material.  She wasn’t into hard edged logic.  She was a soggy sentimentalist.  I decided for my next assignment I would write syrupy drivel, although it nearly gagged me to do so.  When the paper came back, there was my A, along with the comment, “What happened?  You have finally become a writer!”  I groaned inwardly, “Oh, no!  Is this what I have to do to get a good grade?”

So, at this point, I don’t even know if I will be tutoring this particular student, but maybe this analysis will be helpful to someone.