Perhaps two months is too long for me to be away from home.
Two months is long enough that I want to begin putting down
roots where I am, but the knowledge that I am leaving soon hangs over me. I have been away from home so long that I am
beginning to feel disconnected. The
consequence is that I feel like I am drifting, and I am unsure of where I
actually wish to land. As I float along
on an unfamiliar breeze, my roots are hanging below me like strings from a
balloon. I wonder where they might drag
along and catch hold.
I have tried to keep myself busy here. Thus far, I have read 11 novels, knit 3
scarves, made costumes for 2 grandchildren, given 1 chapel message at my
grandchildren’s school with another scheduled tomorrow, taken an online writing
course, and done all the normal household things like laundry, grocery
shopping, meal preparation, cleaning, and paying bills. I have also made some friends here. I walk the beach for an hour most days,
sometimes with one of my new friends, who is a neighbor here at the condo units.
I really like the church we attend here. Our Sunday School class is comprised mainly
of couples our age. We have been out to
brunch with the group, and they are friendly.
The music and preaching at the church are top notch.
But…
I don’t really live here.
My permanent address is a long way away.
I have a lovely home that is furnished to my tastes. The can opener and iron there actually
work. I don’t have to think about which seasonings
and spices I have available when preparing a meal. I have a bit of a part-time job and some
volunteer activities. I am involved at
two different churches there, and I enjoy both.
I have lots of friends and acquaintances….although, no one to walk the
beach with or even to trudge through snow drifts with me.
I also have boxes and
boxes of “stuff” that needs to be sorted if I am pondering a move. The downsize done six years ago wasn’t nearly
sufficient. Going home also means facing
some tough issues and decisions.
Where am I supposed to spend the rest of my life?
What is there yet for me to accomplish?
And…
Since only my first class mail is being forwarded, what has
happened to all my junk mail?