Feeling Rootless

Perhaps two months is too long for me to be away from home.

Two months is long enough that I want to begin putting down roots where I am, but the knowledge that I am leaving soon hangs over me.  I have been away from home so long that I am beginning to feel disconnected.  The consequence is that I feel like I am drifting, and I am unsure of where I actually wish to land.  As I float along on an unfamiliar breeze, my roots are hanging below me like strings from a balloon.  I wonder where they might drag along and catch hold.

I have tried to keep myself busy here.  Thus far, I have read 11 novels, knit 3 scarves, made costumes for 2 grandchildren, given 1 chapel message at my grandchildren’s school with another scheduled tomorrow, taken an online writing course, and done all the normal household things like laundry, grocery shopping, meal preparation, cleaning, and paying bills.  I have also made some friends here.  I walk the beach for an hour most days, sometimes with one of my new friends, who is a neighbor here at the condo units.

I really like the church we attend here.  Our Sunday School class is comprised mainly of couples our age.  We have been out to brunch with the group, and they are friendly.  The music and preaching at the church are top notch.

But…

I don’t really live here.  My permanent address is a long way away.  I have a lovely home that is furnished to my tastes.  The can opener and iron there actually work.  I don’t have to think about which seasonings and spices I have available when preparing a meal.  I have a bit of a part-time job and some volunteer activities.  I am involved at two different churches there, and I enjoy both.  I have lots of friends and acquaintances….although, no one to walk the beach with or even to trudge through snow drifts with me.

 I also have boxes and boxes of “stuff” that needs to be sorted if I am pondering a move.  The downsize done six years ago wasn’t nearly sufficient.  Going home also means facing some tough issues and decisions.

Where am I supposed to spend the rest of my life? 

What is there yet for me to accomplish?

And…

Since only my first class mail is being forwarded, what has happened to all my junk mail?