Wishing I Was Wrong

There have been a number of times in my life when I wished I was wrong….oh, how I wished I was wrong!

One day while I was in nursing school, I was assigned to care for a very large lady who had had gall bladder surgery.  In those day, there was no laparoscopic surgery, so there was a fairly large incision high in the abdomen on the right side.  This often caused people not to want to breathe deeply and to avoid moving around.  It was the nurses’ job to make them do deep breathing, even if it was uncomfortable, and to get them out of bed and walking to avoid both pneumonia and pulmonary embolisms resulting from blood pooling and clotting in the legs.

My obese patient refused to get out of bed and was even resistive to moving around.  Every time I came into the room, she had talked someone into cranking up the knee gatch.  I tried to explain that this was a dangerous position for her, as it would cause blood to pool in the vessels in her upper legs.

Her response was, “You young things think you know everything!  I know my own body, and I will know when I am ready to move around.”

Complicating the situation was the fact that she was very good friends with her doctor’s wife, who showed up with a girdle, so that she could hold things in when she felt ready to get up.  I wasn’t convinced that was a good idea because I was concerned about vessels in the groin area being compressed, but how does one tactfully object to what the doctor’s wife is doing with the patient.

I was not working the next day and was relaxing in the dorm when I got a phone call.  We all knew we were required to watch a certain number of autopsies.  A friend who was working called to clue me in to the opportunity to watch one that morning.  I inquired who the patient was.  My heart sank when I learned it was my patient the prior day.

I observed the autopsy that morning and two things about it are vivid to me.  One was that she had eaten scrambled eggs for breakfast, and they were in her stomach undigested.  The other….she died of a pulmonary embolism.  Blood had pooled in the leg vessels and formed a clot.  The clot let loose and traveled to her lungs, and that was it.

Sometimes a young thing knows what she is talking about.

I am old and sometimes I still know what I am talking about.

I will never watch another autopsy.  I hope I don’t have to pay my respects at any coffins.

I want to be wrong.  Oh…how I want to be wrong!

 

No Farther

I declared, “You may come this far, but no farther.  Here your proud waves must stop.” Job 38:11

The proud waves roll toward the shore,

Creeping farther and farther,

Onto the barren sand they come

Sweeping away debris.

 

Walking along in the surf,

I feel the outward pull.

I stay in the shallows

Not wanting to be swept away.

 

But what if I stray too far?

What if I don’t see the larger cresting wave?

What if I am encompassed, overpowered,

And pulled into the deep?

 

There is a boundary set

By a more powerful hand.

“This far, but no farther”

The Almighty roars.

 

The proud waves of evil roll,

Attempting to sweep all of us

Outward through the harmless foam

Into the depths and darkness.

 

But the Almighty has set a boundary.

With a voice louder than the surf,

He roars “This far, but no farther.

Enough!  It is finished.”

 

Schadenfreude

I read the word schadenfreude today, and I have been pondering it.

I take absolutely no pleasure in the pain of others…even those who have made poor decisions that have led to their troubles, or those who have harmed me in the past.  I would not consider gleefully dancing on anyone’s grave.  It would be more likely that I would stand next to it and weep.  I cringe as I watch some make ruin of their lives.  Sometimes I want to stand by the side of the road and scream, “the bridge is out ahead!”  But usually, I am ignored as people I know and love speed by with pedal to the metal.

I know that what I see as right may not be RIGHT.  I know there are differences of opinion, and plenty of room for alternative choices in life.  But, as an old lady who has been around the block a few times, I can often spot trouble before it actually happens.  The degree to which I am correct in my assessment of situations is a bit scary…even to me.  Sometimes I “know” things I don’t really want to know, because I can’t do anything about the situations anyway.

There are current social and political issues about which I have opinions.  Other intelligent and morally upright people may disagree with some of those opinions.  Only time will tell whose perspective is closest to truth.  Sometimes I would really rather be wrong.  If it turns out I am right, there will be grief rather than schadenfreude!

How Long?

How can a life be so precious to one,

And yet so cheap to another?

One man sacrifices his life to save lives.

Another sacrifices his life to take lives.

 

Good and evil coexisting,

Love and hatred confronting each other.

The devil laughs gleefully,

Almighty God weeps, biding his time.

 

Some of us stand at a distance,

Others must enter the conflict,

Live on the razor’s edge,

Tomorrow uncertain, unknown.

 

But when the agony creeps back to us,

A staggering reality pierces the soul,

A black hole expands at one’s core,

Swallowing all joy and light.

 

“How long, O Lord, holy and true,

 until you judge and avenge…”

       (Revelation 6:10)

Too Soon Old

It is amazing how gradually loss of energy creeps up on one.  I have tried to do too much recently, and I find myself exhausted.  The whole aging thing is such a sneaky process.  One day I was running through life full tilt, not feeling the need to sit down and take a break, and it seems like only a day or two later, I do a simple task and then sink into a chair.  Doing several loads of laundry used to be incidental to doing numerous other tasks during a day.  Now it is the whole project for the day.

A couple of nights ago, I woke up having slept like a log after an exhausting day.  I lay there awake thinking with amazement of what I used to be capable.  It amused me to think that as a nurse the summer I was 21, I worked at a large hospital in Buffalo, NY, and sometimes I was the only RN for six units.  There was an LPN and aide on each floor, but I was responsible for medications, procedures the LPN couldn’t do and decision making.  One night I had two patients dying at the same time, and they were two floors apart.  I wasn’t satisfied with the speed of the elevators that night and spent the night running up and down the stairs, in order to be on top of the situation.  I confess that now walking up two flights of stairs sometimes tires me, especially if I am carrying something.

On another occasion, I was working as a float on the night shift at hospital from which I graduated.  I was a full-time college student and was paying my own way by working on weekends.  When I checked in before 11, the supervisor told me that they were really short staffed and asked me to cover the orthopedic unit.  It was a very large unit with two separate nurses’ stations.  The hospital was the length of a city block and the ortho unit was about 2/3 or ¾  of the length.  I ran from one end to the other all night.  When I clocked out in the morning, the supervisor said, “You are the only person I know who would have agreed to do that.  Anyone else I asked would have turned around and walked out of here.”  I have no idea where that energy came from….except YOUTH.

So there my old bones were laying in the bed with my old brain pondering my fatigue.  We old people watch toddlers run around, and we feel tired just watching them.  Where does that energy come from? we wonder.  Here we are with the storehouse of knowledge and painfully acquired wisdom of old age, but the energy to utilize it is beginning to fade.  We would like to impart some of the knowledge and wisdom to the younger generations, but some of them think what we have to offer is outdated and irrelevant.

My Dad used to say, “We are too soon old and too late smart.”

Sometimes we encounter younger people who are interested to learn from us.  A young lady sitting in the plane with us recently asked us what the secret of our long happy marriage was.  It is nice to be able to share what one has learned with a younger person and feel they are genuinely interested.

But, whether or not they are interested, I will try to share what I have learned with those who still have the energy to implement it.

Very important piece to pass on:  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. 

Proverbs 9:10

Not Ready for the Rocker

Not ready for the rocking chair,

Motion in one plane,

Forward and backward,

A monotonous refrain.

 

My life is not a neutral,

A gray or beige or buff.

Nor is it full of glitter,

An accent is enough.

 

It’s not a quiet whisper,

Nor a blaring horn,

Not a jittering staccato

Or dirge with which to mourn.

 

But a palette of all colors,

A symphony of sound.

Never dull or boring, but…

On new adventure bound.

False Prophets

Deuteronomy 18:22 

If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the Lord does not take place or come true, that is a message the Lord has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously, so do not be alarmed.

Back in February, Dr. Sherri Tenpenny predicted that the COVID vaccine would be used to depopulate the country and that a massive die-off would occur between 41 and 365 days in the future.  I do not know whether she believes in the Lord or views herself as speaking for him, but I think the concept in this verse applies.  If someone makes a prediction and it doesn’t come true, we should not continue to give that person any credibility or to allow them to make us fearful.

It is now over 180 days past the time she made the prediction and the massive die off did not begin at 41 days nor has it since.  The deaths now occurring from COVID are over 90% in the unvaccinated.  Tenpenny meanwhile has gone on to declare that the vaccine makes people magnetic…that metal objects will stick to their skin.  She claims there are pictures all over the internet showing this phenomenon.  I have looked and can’t find any…just the usual tricks people do with spoons dangling from various body parts.  My husband and I are vaccinated and neither of us have metal objects sticking to us. This is also not happening to the over 2000 people in our retirement community who are vaccinated.  It is actually rather whacko!  The vaccine contains nothing metallic.  Her claim has no basis in science or in observed facts.

She is a FALSE PROPHET.  Do not believe her and do not be alarmed.  Please don’t allow her or any other false prophet to keep you from being vaccinated.

If you are hesitating, please stay aware of the results of ongoing studies.  Perhaps at some point, you will have your fears allayed and feel secure in getting the injection.  You don’t have to admit that you were previously “wrong.”  Just quietly go have it done.

The vaccination is way past being able to be viewed as “experimental.”  Even if it was, I was willing to be a guinea pig.  I have been vaccinated for 6 months and have, thus far, had no ill effects.  If I had, well, I am expendable.

I also don’t understand why people view vaccine mandates as loss of liberties.  Laws require us to wear seat belts, put our children in car seats, wear helmets on motorcycles, license our cars, get building permits, pay taxes, etc.  We are in a crisis.  Of course, I’ll get the jab.  If you go get the vaccination of your own free will, the government won’t have to force it on you.  No need for another law.

What of all these worries about it being RNA?  RNA does not go into the nucleus and change DNA.  Rather DNA is a template on which RNA is formed.  And by the way, as state after state legalizes marijuana, cannabis does cause gene mutations.  Don’t be smoking weed if you are really worried about your DNA being altered!

There is way too much fearmongering going on from people who are not as informed as they think they are.  Too many among us are listening to the wrong “experts’ who are, in fact, false prophets.

If what they predict doesn’t turn out to be true, don’t be stubborn!  Jump ship!