Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?

Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?   Job 2:10

Ten days ago I was an unusually healthy and active 69 year old.  I did pretty much everything I wanted to do.  I cleaned my own home (including the vacuuming and knocking down ceiling cobwebs), went ice-skating, gave rides to family members (including the need to load the wheelchair in the car for one of my daughters), baked dozens of cookies and cupcakes, grocery shopped carrying in my own grocery bags if my husband wasn’t handy to do it, and I certainly bathed and dressed myself.

Then in a split second, my active life was derailed.  

My 23 year old granddaughter was out of town for Christmas, so when she returned I asked her if she would like to go out for lunch with me.  In the car while heading in the direction of several restaurants, we discussed options.  She wanted Chinese.  We settled in a booth and ordered our beverages.  Then I said, “Are you ready to go up to the buffet?”  She nodded and started down the aisle only 3 to 5 feet ahead of me.  As we passed the last booth in the aisle, the cane of the woman sitting there, somehow fell behind my granddaughter, but in front of me.  My granddaughter thinks the woman’s husband knocked it over as he slid back into the booth.

I never saw the cane.  By the time I heard a “clunk” of something hitting the floor, I was already on my way down.  It happened so quickly that I didn’t even have time to put out my hands to try and catch myself.  I hit my knees on the floor but then pitched down unbelievably hard on my right shoulder.  I was flat on my face on the floor of the Chinese restaurant and suddenly surrounded by people claiming to be nurses and worried restaurant staff wanting to call an ambulance.

I insisted that they not call an ambulance and give me a chance to assess myself.  I answered all the “nursie” questions.  No, I had not hit my head.  I was not having any chest pain.  I had no numbness in my hand.  The distended vessels in my hand are normal…..I have had “old lady” hands for decades.

After a bit, I was able to roll myself over and get into a sitting position, and then eventually to lift myself into a nearby empty booth.  I sat there for a few minutes.   I told my granddaughter (who was crying in distress) to go get her food.  I returned to our booth and drank some hot tea.  I was in pain and had no appetite.  As logic kicked in, I realized I could not drive, and that I did not have complete range of motion.  I called my husband and said I would need a ride to the ER.

After x-rays determined, I had no broken bones, I was sent home with my arm in a sling and instructions to ice it for the first 2 days, take Tylenol, and see an orthopedic doctor if things didn’t improve.  For the first two days, I was in too much pain to try to move it very much.  The third day, the pain was less and I had some side to side movement.  My elation over this was short-lived when I realized that I could not lift my arm upward at all.  My brain sent the message, and my arm trembled trying to respond, but my arm was like that of a puppet with the string cut.

So, the ortho doctor says he believes I have a “massive rotator cuff tear.”  I will need surgery, but first I must have an MRI.  I am waiting for insurance approval of this.  The wheels are turning slowly, and I am beginning to be horrified at the long-term impact of this on my life.

Of course, some what-ifs have occurred to me.  What if we had gone out to lunch on a different day?  What if we had decided to go to a different restaurant?  What if we had gone to the buffet 2 seconds earlier or later?  Why did I have an appointment with that cane?  If someone had been trying to trip me, they could have tried 50 times and not done it with such effective precision.

But…I believe that for those of us who love God and desire for Him to guide our lives, He works in the smallest of details to put us where we need to be when we need to be there.

I am not happy that I am currently so helpless and dependent on my husband.  I bathe and dress myself with difficulty and need his help with some of it.  I am trying to plan meals that can be prepared one-handed or require just a bit of help.  I am key-boarding this with my arm in the sling suspended over the keyboard so that I can reach with finger and wrist movement.  Yesterday I discovered I can play the piano in the same way, as long as I stick to the basics and don’t get carried away with my right hand.  I can’t imagine how I will go months without driving.  This may completely destroy our plans to meet our son and his family in Colorado next month.  Annually, they come from California and we come from New York, and we share a condo in the mountains for a week.  My husband skis and my son and daughter-in-law snowboard.  I do neither, but enjoy the quiet time and the joy of being with family.  The real draw this year is the sweet baby girl that joined their family 6 months ago.  I was looking forward to watching her so they could enjoy their activities.  Sigh!

But…

…man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward.  Job 5:7

and

Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?   Job 2:10

Interesting guy, that Job,

and

an unfathomable God.