If Mel Gibson was smart....

A long time ago, I knew a couple who experienced a terrible personal tragedy.  The wife was a positive person with faith that carried her through.  The husband, however, plunged off the edge of reason into an abyss of despair, alcohol and gambling.  He was a brilliant man, a lawyer in a DA's office in a major metropolitan area, but he was not brilliant at cards when he was also drunk.  So, on top of the tragedy was a mountain of debt.  He tried to make up for the debt with some illegal actions and ended up being disbarred.


Most wives would have bailed out.  I am not privy to exactly what went on between them that kept them together.  But, as an outside observer, it was clear that a deal had been struck in which she called all the shots and controlled all the money.  The rest of his life, he received an allowance.  On one occasion when plans were being made, he said to me with a shrug, "I do what I am told."  


Eventually, he became a much respected college professor, but she continued to determine the course of their lives.  At one point, it was clear that she even told him what to wear.  If he ever argued with her about anything, it wasn't obvious.


Mel Gibson needs to beg his wife to take him back.  He needs to become completely accountable to her.  He clearly cannot run his own life.  He needs someone to be his "keeper."  He may have sufficient money to hire someone for this role, but that would not be effective.  He could fire the person anytime he chose to do so.  Besides, he would be vulnerable to anyone unscrupulous.  In fact, he probably has already been vulnerable to someone unscrupulous.


I have no idea what he and his wife are really like.  But, if there is any chance that she still loves him, or could still call forth loving actions toward him, he needs her.  He may be so far off the path into the deep woods, that he won't be able to find his way back on his own.


If Mel Gibson is smart, and can stay sober long enough to use reason, he will reconcile with his wife and allow her to become his "keeper."  He will consult her on all financial decisions and agree that she has veto over anything  and everything in his life.