Our Time?

Last night while sitting on the couch together, Bill and I saw an ad for Our Time, a dating site for singles over 50.  This particular ad featured an attractive couple expressing their desire to pretty much do what they wanted to do during this era of their lives.  I don’t think all of the Our Time ads carry quite the same message, but as this one finished, I said, “huh….sounds pretty self-centered.”  Bill replied, “I was just thinking the same thing.”

I guess when people have raised their families; they are supposed to have some time for themselves.  We still haven’t figured out how this is supposed to happen.  The needs of an elderly ailing parent, adult children and grandchildren tug at us on a daily basis.  We manage to steal little bits of time here and there for the two of us as a couple, but the needs of others swallow up big chunks of our days.

If someone had told me 46 years ago on our wedding day, what our lives would be like now, I would have thought the prophet had me mixed up with someone else.  I could not have imagined the full picture of both joys and sorrows.  However, the fact that there would be demands on our lives was not unexpected.

In June of 1968 about 2 weeks before our wedding, Bill arrived in the Chicago area a few days before my college graduation.  I had finished classes and had scored high enough on an earlier comprehensive exam, that I was exempt from taking any finals.  We drove down to Peoria where his sister and brother-in-law were living and spent a couple of days enjoying their company.  We returned to the Chicago area, and my parents arrived for graduation.  Bill began to act strangely.  I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on.  When I finally asked him, he said, “I don’t want to share you with anyone.”

After a few seconds of silence, I replied, “You do know don’t you that we are going to spend the rest of our lives having to share each other with the rest of the world.  Lots of people are going to want a piece of us.”

“I understand that,” he responded.  “It’s just that right now, I want you all to myself.”

We have worked at making time for just “us” over the years.  But, being able to work together in meeting the needs of others is also valuable for a couple.  I think of one time when a complicated family need caused Bill to say, “If you can figure out what to do, I will help you do it.”  Neither of us makes that statement regarding every issue that confronts us, but we both know that it expresses the underlying attitude of mutual support. 

Part of my favorite passage in the Bible is Isaiah 58:6-11

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

To loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,

To set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

And to provide the poor wanderer with shelter,

When you see the naked, to clothe him,

And not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

And your healing will quickly appear;

Then your righteousness will go before you,

And the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Then you will call and the Lord will answer;

You will cry for help, and he will say; Here am I.

If you do away with the yoke of oppression,

With the pointing of the finger and malicious talk,

And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

And satisfy the needs of the oppressed.

Then your light will rise in the darkness,

And your night will become like the noonday.

The Lord will guide you always;

He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

And will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

Like a spring whose waters never fail.

So... “Our Time” is not as important as “His Time.” 

What does God want of me today? 

What does God want of us today?

Snapshots of Tug Hill

Abandoned barns and houses,

Shattered timbers on crumbling walls,

Ruins of pastoral life.

Piles of dirty snow,

On sheltered north slopes,

Remnants of the winter past.

Clumps of brilliant daffodils,

In the middle of nowhere,

Random or planned once upon a time.

Unimaginable mélange,

Junk scattered about a yard,

Relics of forgotten lives.

The fragrance of wood smoke,

Wafting up from chimneys,

Relief from the morning chill.

Gentle streams through fields,

Plunging down hillsides become

Raging torrents of spring.

Horse-drawn Amish buggies,

Plodding on the shoulder

Remembrances of pastoral life.

Riding on Tug Hill.

Following the Rules

While we were visiting my daughter’s family in Florida last week, I had an interesting conversation with her 7 year old girl.  My daughter was still at work, but sweet granddaughter Maddie was home from school and still wearing her school uniform.  She went out to play with her older sister and Grandpa , but shortly came back in.

I was sitting on the sofa waiting for the timer to go off, so I could take a cake out of the oven.  She knelt at the end of the sofa with her elbows on the arms of the sofa and her cute face resting on her hands.

“Grandma, my mother’s rule is that I have to change out of my school clothes before I go outside to play.”

“Well then, Maddie, you had better run upstairs and change.”

“….Although….I do not feel that I should have to obey my mother’s rule, since my mother is not here.”

Stifling my laughter…. “Well, the thing is that if you obey your mother’s rule even when she is not here, it gives her reason to trust you.”

She pondered this for about 2 seconds, and then ran upstairs to change before returning to outdoor play.

I hope and pray that she will remember this concept and build it into her code of conduct.  Obeying even when the enforcer is not present is a wonderful principle.  It prevents all kinds of trouble and pain in life.  It causes others to view us as people of integrity.  I have many times over the years said to children and grandchildren, “If you discipline yourself, then no one else has to discipline you.”

If only they could all grasp the concept early and hang on to it for a lifetime.

Reasons to be Happy

My husband and I are currently in Florida to visit our daughter, son-in-law and 2 granddaughters.  My daughter told the girls that when she was little, I used to make homemade candy Easter eggs.  Yesterday we colored hard-boiled eggs, so the candy eggs are now on the agenda.  This morning, before the girls went off to school, I inquired about which flavors they would like to make.  A trip to the grocery store was in order to pick up the necessary ingredients.

My husband went in the store with me and pushed the cart.  When we were finished and headed toward our car in the parking lot, we were laughing and talking.  A gentleman, a bit older than we are, passed us heading into the store and said, “You two don’t have any reason to be so happy!”  We just laughed, knowing he was joking, but it did get me to thinking.

Why am I happy today?

1.        I am in Florida to visit family whom I wish I could see more often, so I delight in every day here.

2.       Bill and I have been married for almost 46 years, and we still like each other.

3.       Easter is a yearly reminder that Christ is risen.  Because He is alive, I have life in Him now and for eternity.

So…if I look happy coming out of the grocery store or anywhere else…I have good reason!

Old Man in a Chair

Old man sitting in a chair,

Staring out…who knows where?

Through the years and back to youth?

Hiding in shadows, avoiding truth?

You no longer hear the sounds,

Or see the visions that surround.

Your world is bounded by the chair.

And out of focus, even there.

If you feebly change your place,

Fatigue and weakness slow your pace.

Haltingly you walk and shuffle,

The gift of pain for your trouble.

Gone your youth full of play,

Gone your long hard working day.

Also gone, your loving wife,

Gone the exuberance of life.

That crystal clarity of mind

Is something you no longer find.

Random images now flow,

Fleeting thoughts come and go.

And so you sit as time creeps by,

Waiting for the chair to die.

For the physical to dissolve and fade.

For the spirit to survive…remade.

Flap over "Frozen"

I have seen the movie Frozen twice.  Once with granddaughters who were visiting from Florida and later with another granddaughter who lives nearby.  If I had additional young granddaughters, I would have cheerfully gone to see it a third and fourth time.  It was a wonderful movie.  The animation was beautiful, the music was powerful, and there was delightful humor.  I am disgusted that it is being criticized by the lunatic fringe as being supportive of the gay agenda, because of the song “Let It Go.”

If anyone is interpreting “Let It Go” as a message to come out of the closet, they need to consider that when Elsa sings this song she has actually come out of one closet only to step into another.  While living at the castle she was isolated and repressing her gift/curse.  Once it is exposed, it is not only destructive, but results in her isolating herself again…this time in a crystal palace of her own making.  She is cynical, lonely, and bereft of all human contact.  If there is any message here for gays, it is that coming out can happen in a way which is destructive and isolating.  Only when she learns to use her gift/curse with restraint and for the benefit of others is she able to live productively among her people again.

Also, consider that the basic theme of the movie could be described as redemption through sacrificial love.  The love between Hans and Anna turns out to be a cruel illusion.  But, the love of Kristoff for Anna is forged through facing challenges together, resolving disagreements and learning to work together.  Kristoff is even willing to sacrifice his love for Anna, because he thinks it is in her best interest and for the well-being of others.  I was delighted to have my young granddaughters see that message portrayed without it being a parental lecture.  Don’t fall for the handsome sweet talker.  Look for someone who knows how to be your friend, before he is your lover.

Anna exhibits even greater sacrificial love.  She is willing to face danger and even give her life to save her sister.  She does so without hesitation.  Her sister’s rejection doesn’t prevent her from continuing to love.  Her sacrifice is the key to the turn-around for Elsa and the kingdom.

So…if the gay community wants to own the song “Let It Go,” let them do so with caution.  As for the rest of us, let’s just enjoy this movie, soak in the beauty and go away with its powerful message tucked away in our hearts.

Pondering Perspective

I have been wondering if perspective is itself a dimension or if it is just a composite of the 3 dimensions in space and one in time with which we are most familiar.

An oriental rug looks very different from the perspective of a bug crawling around in it and a person standing on it watching the bug.

A particular place can look very different at different times.  I have passed through an area in the winter during a white-out and then passed through the same coordinates on a bright and sunny day marveling at the contrast.

…the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.  (I Corinthians 1:18)

If one were inside the box with Schrodinger’s cat, one would know whether the cat was alive or dead.

The universe appears very different to a person standing on planet Earth peering into space, than it does to a God who encompasses the universe.

I once had a friend whose attitude toward me changed so radically, that I felt as though he had picked up someone else’s glasses with which to look at me.

Something which brought tears to my eyes at the time it happened may later seem funny.  (As in my post on The Tang Booby Trap)

Two people can watch the same performance and come away with vastly different evaluations.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

Perspective…exactly what is it?  What does it take to change it?  How do we know our perspective is correct? 

I am pondering perspective….from my own perspective…hmmmmmmmm.