Ten Dollars a Pack

One day recently, I was in the checkout lane at a grocery store, when I noticed an unopened pack of cigarettes on the floor.  I picked it up and started to hand it to a clerk, assuming it had fallen off the counter or a display rack.  The woman ahead of me in line turned and said that it was hers.  As I handed her the cigarettes, she said, "Thanks!  At ten dollars a pack, I really appreciate it."


I have no idea what kind of facial expression I was exhibiting, but she studied my face briefly and continued, "I bet it just about killed you to give those to me."


I never managed to formulate a reply.  She turned and continued writing her check.  She was, of course, right in thinking that I was sad to hand her those cigarettes. I had a lot on my mind at that point, but picking up that package snapped my mind into the present, and I felt a twinge of sadness.  Cigarettes are addictive.  People get hooked.  Cigarettes are a huge cause of health problems.  They are an enormous waste of money.  Even though I didn't know the woman, I could feel empathy and sorrow.  I have family members who smoke.  I love them and grieve.  I'm guessing she has family members who love her and wish she could kick the habit too.


I'm still thinking about that very brief encounter.  I wonder if she is.

Inexplicable

In my "retirement," I work part-time for an agency which offers free mammograms to women who are uninsured.  Attempting to locate women who could benefit from this service, I am in the process of trying to attend every farmers' market in the county.


Today I set up at the end of a row of booths displaying all manner of fruits, veggies, flowers and baked goods.  It was hot and sunny, so I went to the trouble of putting up a tent.  I set up my table covered with literature under the tent.  I hung a poster from the tent frame which said in bold and bright letters "FREE MAMMOGRAMS for uninsured women."


I talked with many people.  Some glanced at the sign and avoided me.  But, one woman came right up to me with the intent of picking a fight.  I know this because she did have insurance, did NOT want a mammogram, and had to have seen the sign from the direction in which she approached.


She informed me that there was no reason for women to get mammograms.  If we put the right things into our bodies, our bodies will take care of themselves and we won't get cancer.  She said that cancer was caused by "negative thinking."  


I countered that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, and it is not prevented by positive thinking.


She repeated the bit about putting the right things into our bodies and added that she knew this for sure because she has a PhD in this.  I wondered what  she meant by "this," so I asked what the PhD was in.  She replied, "Natural Health."


I bit my tongue.  Several things came to mind which would have heated up the interchange.  I managed to restrain myself from anything other than a shrug.  (I try harder to behave myself when I am representing an agency.)


There were a few additional comments back and forth.  She said people should "go when their time comes."  I said it makes a difference whether that time comes when one is in their 80s or 50s.  It was obvious that I wasn't going to convince her of anything, and that she just wanted to argue.


Eventually, she turned to walk away and shot back over her shoulder,  "Anyway, I've been a smoker for 40 years, so if I die of cancer,  it will be f.....ing lung cancer."


I know why she delivered this as a parting shot.  She did not want me to point out the total incongruity of believing that "if you put the right things into your body, it will take care of itself" and then smoking!  


Arrrrggghhh!  Inexplicable!


But, she is probably angry with herself about this habit, so she is looking for other directions in which to place that anger.  So there I stood today: smiling, dispensing information, giving out key chains with the agency's phone number AND conveniently in the line of fire.