Countdown to Demise

I don’t think I am excessively morbid, but I often find myself thinking about death and the whole experience of dying.  I was present as three close family members took their last breaths, and I arrived on the scene shortly after two others had left this earth.  I am now the oldest person in my family of origin, so wondering about the timing of my own demise seems quite natural and not particularly depressing.

This morning, as I soaked in my lovely bathtub, I was wondering what I would do differently, if I knew ahead of time when I would die.  The online longevity calculators give me another 25 years, but it’s a bit risky to actually believe those online questionnaires, that tell you crazy things like what percent beautiful you are and whether your IQ is as high as Stephen Hawkings.

So I concluded, if I knew I would die in:

25 minutes—I would get out of the bathtub and put some clothes on.  It would be bad enough for someone to find my dead body, but imagine the trauma, if it were naked and water-logged!

25 hours—I would make some lists of my wishes, things like who should get what and details about the workings of our lives and the household that I know and Bill doesn’t

25 days—I would try to touch base with each of my children and grandchildren one more time to encourage them to give God his rightful place in their lives.  I would do some sorting and throwing out.  I have a few projects in progress that I would attempt to finish.  I would put everything I have written out on my blog and make no further attempts to get it published.

25 months—I would do more sorting and throwing out.  I would get Bill ready to move into something smaller and more convenient for him with less yard work.  I would sort through several boxes of photos and slides and have them digitalized so that the originals weren’t sitting around collecting dust.  I would not start any new projects.  I wouldn’t bother trying to sand down and refinish those old dressers at the cottage.  I would not accept any more tutoring jobs.

25 years—What if I really did have 25 years left?  I wouldn’t change much right now…other than getting out of the tub, but I would begin working on some of the previously mentioned activities.  I would start new projects.  I would continue to write.  I would work at down-sizing, but not in a frenzied way.  I would continue to be amazed at God’s faithfulness and the peace that comes from a relationship with him made possible by the shed blood of Jesus.

25 minutes, hours, days, months or years from now, I look forward to seeing him and knowing, as I am known.

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.  (I Corinthians 13:12 New Living Translation)

Empty Head...Empty Soul

Empty-headed brains full of white noise,

Spew forth meaningless chatter

About appearance and ego

About events of no consequence

Foolishness.

The reality of life and death,

Brushed aside and ignored

For thoughts of celebrities

For music without substance

Trivial pursuits.

Living a life of denial

Ignoring what matters

Keeping busy going nowhere

Doing nothing of consequence.

Treading water.

Filling the hollow soul

With a bit of wine

With a ridiculous flirtation

By manufacturing conflict

Creating drama.

Is there no hope of insight?

If I shook you, would it precipitate

A clear and rational thought?

How can you not see?

Someone loved you enough to die for you!

Rend the Heavens

Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down, that the mountains would tremble before you!  As when fire sets twigs ablaze and causes water to boil, come down to make your name known to your enemies and cause the nations to quake before you!  

Isaiah 64:1-2

For thousands of years, this has been the cry of those who believe in an all-powerful God, as they look at the violence, injustice and evil in the world.  I suspect every generation has had people who thought things could get no worse.  We are no exception.  As we see world rulers who seem out of control, groups who exercise violence against others who disagree with them, and individuals who seem to delight in their own wicked character, we want to scream, “God!  Come down and put an end to this!”

So….why doesn’t He?

I don’t profess to know.  But, if he had swept down from heaven and made everything right a millenia or a century ago, you and I would probably not have been born.  I do not have the mind of God.  I cannot understand how all the events of history fit together with the lives of individuals to accomplish his purposes.  However, I believe he has a plan and a purpose for each of our lives.  We see only the small segment of time in which we are caught.  We may study the past, and guess at the future, but it is only a guess.  We do not see the whole panorama, the whole pattern woven into the fabric of time and eternity.

So, we are left in the middle of what appears to us to be chaos, unable to see the plan, and we cry out…

Oh that you would rip the heavens apart,

Tear them as one rips a curtain open,

Burst through with such awesome power,

That every knee bows.

Roar like a lion.  Blaze like a fire.

Heat the pot of human events to boiling.

Cause praise to your name to come from every mouth.

I keep believing that someday this will actually happen, and the crooked will be made straight. (Isaiah 40:4) He came as a lamb two thousand years ago.  Someday he will come as a lion, and no one will stand before his roar.  No one.