How to drain your own bursa.

Last week I visited my doctor.  I was looking for help with my elbow.  It has been draining a pale yellow liquid for four weeks, and I am getting tired of the constant bandaging and rebandaging that I am doing in an attempt to avoid bacteria creeping into the joint and causing a significant infection.

Upon hearing my complaint, the doctor replied that he has people come into the office all the time looking to have a bursa drained.  He prefers not to do this, because the majority of the time, the bursa will just come back again and nothing will be accomplished.  He then informed me that I was the first case he had seen of a bursa draining itself.

So…if you have a bursa and want to avoid having the doctor drain it, here are the instructions:

* Become really ill with a cold or flu.

*Get out of bed in the middle of the night and pass out.  It is important for you to be unconscious when your elbow hits the floor, because I suspect that having one of these bubbles burst through the skin is painful if you are awake.  I don’t actually know, because I was blacked out when my elbow hit.

*Make sure that you hit the hardwood floor, rather than the cushy carpet, as considerable force is probably required.

*Be oblivious to the injury until about 2 days later when you notice the pain and a sticky sensation on your elbow.  If you hit your head too, the pain of that should distract you from the elbow for a couple of days.

*Be sure to keep the area scrupulously clean.  I have been soaking it once a day and applying antibiotic cream each time I change the bandage.

*Be careful when removing the bandage.  The synovial fluid may ooze or drip, but occasionally it actually squirts like it is coming out of a water pistol.  For this reason, stand over the sink when you change the bandage.

*I cannot give you an estimate on how long the flow of liquid will continue.  I am going to be out of town for a few days in the near future.  My plan is that if it is still leaking when I get back, I will go see an orthopedic doctor for another opinion.

*I am not charging for this advice and if you choose to follow it, do so at your own risk.  Personally, I am hoping not to have a repeat performance.