Deliver Us from Evil

I can’t find Children’s Memorial Hospital on a Chicago map, so I guess it no longer exists.  In 1965 when I was a nursing student in the Chicago area, I spent three months at that hospital for my pediatric rotation.  I could write several blogs about experiences I had there, and I’m not sure why this one is coming to mind today.  Perhaps it is because of all the current media attention to sexual harassment.

The hospital took up a triangular shaped block on the northside of Chicago, not very far from Lake Michigan.  A park on the shore of the lake was an easy walk from the nurses’ residence which was across the street from the hospital itself and connected by a tunnel.  In addition to the tunnel providing for safely crossing the street away from traffic and out of the weather, it also kept us safe from the neighborhood which was a bit sketchy.  It wasn’t a good place to walk alone. 

On one occasion, I planned to return to my home hospital for a couple of days to work on my days off.  I was starting to save money for college.  I had to walk a couple of blocks to the nearest station for the elevated train.  It was broad daylight, so I didn’t expect any problem.  I was on a busy street.  But, I noticed a man ahead of me who had stopped and was staring at me with interest.  I thought about crossing the street, but traffic was coming steadily, and I was in the middle of a block.  I was carrying a suitcase.  As I got near him, he said, “What’s the matter, doll?  Gotta leave town?”

I ignored him.  He repeated his questions.  This time I just uttered a “yup,” not making eye contact.

As I passed, he called after me, “Too bad….cute little doll like you!”

I can only imagine what would have happened if I had been in distress and actually contemplating leaving town.  I’m pretty sure he would have offered to “help.”

Although that was a bit unnerving, it did not compare with another incident when I was walking alone.  Sometimes I just needed to get away and out for some fresh air.  One evening when no one else was available, I decided to walk to the park by Lake Michigan by myself.  I had a nice stroll through the park and as dusk approached, I had turned to head home, when two policemen walked toward me.

“You shouldn’t be down here walking by yourself.”

I replied, “I’m heading home right now.”

One of them said, “It isn’t safe here.  We have animals that swing out of the trees.”

“Yeah,” said the other, “and some of them wear blue uniforms.”

My heart skipped a couple of beats….were they saying I couldn’t trust even them?

I tried hard to show no fear and kept walking.

I also showed no fear the evening I was walking up the stairs to the elevated train platform and a young man was standing under the stairs “exhibiting.”  If he was expecting a scream, he was disappointed.  I acted like I didn’t even notice.

Looking back on this now, I’m thinking, “Wow, this all happened within a 3-month period about the time of my 20^th birthday.   Why was I able to handle this?”

Someone was probably praying for my safety, as I now pray for the safety of my granddaughters.   “O God, don’t let evil come near them!”

Self-Discipline

My daughter-in-law sent a picture of our almost two-year-old grandson standing in the time-out corner crying.  The accompanying text explained that after being told to stop an offending behavior three times, he put himself in the corner and stood there crying about his self-inflicted punishment.

This did not surprise me at all, because the little guy’s father once negotiated to increase his punishment.  He was dairy allergic and could, therefore, not have the joy of getting ice cream on those hot summer days when the ice cream truck came jingling through the neighborhood.  Eventually we learned that the truck also had blow-pops which were safe for him.  One day I was sitting on the front porch doing some hand-sewing when the ice cream truck appeared and parked across the street.  I gave my son the money for the blow-pop.  I didn’t think to admonish him to look both ways before crossing, because he had been wary of streets since being a toddler and always crossed cautiously.  But…not this day.  He ran out into the street towards the ice cream truck never stopping to look.  A UPS truck was coming on a collision course.  I saw it, but I made a split-second decision not to scream.  I calculated that if he heard me and stopped, he would be hit.  If he kept running, he might make it.  The ice cream truck driver saw what was happening and started to jump out of his truck.  The UPS driver saw him and slammed on his brakes.  I imagine their hearts were racing as fast as mine.  He made it across the street and purchased his blow-pop.

That night when I tucked him in, I talked to him about what had happened.  I said, “I think I need to do something to help you remember to cross the street safely.  So, I am going to tell you that you can’t go to the truck for a blow-pop for the next two weeks.”

He replied, “Two weeks isn’t long enough.”  He was only about 6 or 7 when this happened, but he apparently already knew that a blow-pop wasn’t as valuable as his life.

As it turned out, about two weeks later, we went to our cottage which is on the grounds of a camp which has a snack store.  He discovered the blow-pops cost much less at the snack shop than they did from the ice cream truck.  He figured getting them from the truck was a rip-off, and never asked to get one from the truck again.  I am not sure if the cost difference or the value of his life was the deciding factor.

When my children were teens, I told them repeatedly that if they were to discipline themselves, no one else would have to do it.  I have no idea if they remember me saying this, but I tried hard to help them understand that as we grow toward adulthood, we are supposed to learn to control our own behaviors.  Parents and teachers are not trying to make kids miserable.  They will not inflict discipline if there are no offending behaviors.

Looking at the picture of my little grandson wailing in the time-out corner, I could not help but think this would be a better world if we all put ourselves in time-out and were sorrowful when we did wrong!

Anonymous Gifts

There was a time in my life when I felt poor, and I was relatively poor.  “Poor” is always relative, because you can always find someone worse off than you are yourself.  When I was in high school, I had a friend who bragged that she could go through two weeks without wearing the same outfit twice.  I had 3 sweaters and 3 skirts, some of which could be worn in different combinations, so I could get through a week without re-wearing the exact same outfit.  I had a friend who had just one sweater and one skirt which always looked clean.  I’m not sure how she accomplished that.

My parents had agreed they would pay for me to go to nursing school, but I was on my own after that.  Because nursing students were basically the hospital’s slaves in those old three-year diploma programs, hospital-based programs were inexpensive.  The entire three years cost about the same as a semester of college. 

In addition, my parents sent me $12 a month.  While it is true that $12 was worth more then than it is now, it was still a pittance.  That amount kept me in toilet articles and stockings (There was a time when pantyhose didn’t exist).  I did not have the money for any splurges.  I remember on one occasion being with a group that decided to stop for ice cream, and I had no money for a cone.

One of the amazing encouragements to me at this point in my life was periodically receiving an anonymous gift.  A card…often a “Thinking of You” card…would arrive in my mailbox with a five-dollar bill in it.  The envelope would not have a return address, and the card would not be signed.  The cards were mailed from several different small towns in the area in which I grew up.  While it was very tempting to try and figure out who might be doing this, I had to give up on it.  I talked to my mother about it, and although we could think of some possibilities, I never did know for sure.  No one ever revealed himself/herself as the donor.

Five dollars doesn’t seem like much, but these gifts always seemed to arrive when I was most in need.  It was also a huge encouragement to me that someone was thinking of me.  I suspected it was someone from my church, and that meant they were also praying for me.

Over the years, I have encountered other people who have received anonymous gifts.  I have always suggested that they not expend too much effort in trying to figure out the source.  If someone sends a gift anonymously, they do that for a reason.  It is best for the recipient just to take it as God’s provision for their need.  I’m pretty sure that is the intent of the person sending it.

Be thankful, and “pay it forward” when you can!

Senior Menus and Senior Moments

Before I was a senior myself, I thought that the purpose of a senior menu was to give the elderly less expensive choices.  After all, many are living on fixed incomes.  I, of course, noted that the servings were smaller, but I didn’t realize the extent to which metabolism and appetite are impacted by age.  For decades, I was able to eat pretty much whatever I wanted to eat.  and I did not gain weight.  Now, even though my appetite is significantly less, I can’t seem to avoid a creeping weight gain.

If I order off the regular menu, the portions are usually so large that I cannot finish my meal.  Sometimes by the time the main course arrives, I already feel full from the salad and a small roll or piece of bread.  I eat some of the entrée and ask for a box to take the rest home.  The upside of this scenario is that, if my husband does this too, I do not have to cook the next evening.  I am thinking about this, because I do not have to cook this evening due to the events of last evening.

A couple of weeks ago, Bill brought home tickets to a fundraiser taking place at a very nice restaurant in a nearby St. Lawrence River town.  Accordingly, we drove the 20+ miles last evening.  It was a lovely drive…lots of fall colors along the way.  When we arrived at the restaurant, the parking lot was very crowded.  We assumed that the fundraiser was going well.  But when we got inside, we discovered that the fundraiser is next week.  Neither of us had….in our senility…looked closely at the tickets.  We don’t know how we got the event on the wrong date on the calendar, but we were a week early.  I guess that’s better than being a week late, but it did make us feel like doddering oldsters. 

We decided to stay for dinner.  The menu is extensive, and the entrees are quite interesting and elegant.  There is no senior menu.  We tried to order dishes that seemed to be on the small side, but we still ended up with more than we could reasonably eat.  Dessert menu?  You’ve got to be kidding!  Please bring me a box.

I keep saying that someday I am just going to eat the salad and dessert and totally skip the main course, but I haven’t done that yet.  I expect I will do it someday, when I am old enough that I no longer care about social conventions.  I shudder to think what else I might do at that stage!

A Box of Beads

A box of beads,

Different colors, shapes and sizes,

Rolling around but

Confined to the container.

Randomly bouncing

Off each other.

No pattern emerging,

Emitting a noisy clatter.

Is that life?

Isolated, differing events

Kept together only by the confines

Of birth and death.

Or are those events

Strung together in a pattern,

Held by the invisible cord,

Of a world view.

I grieve for those I see,

Living scattered lives,

Empty-headed, hazy,

Thoughtless lives.

When they bounce off

The final edge of the box,

Will they look back on 

A life of unstrung beads?

Saving Someone from Themselves

Saving someone from themselves is a risky business.

I just returned from grocery shopping.  As I pushed my cart through the parking lot to my car, I noticed a van which seemed to be circling the parking lot.  I decided the driver must be looking for a spot near the entrance of the grocery store in an effort to minimize walking distance.

The driver, who was the lone occupant of the car, was a heavy set, gray-haired lady.  I have no idea of her exact age….she could be older or younger than me.  She had an oxygen cannula in her nose AND she was holding a cigarette.  Now maybe, the valve on the oxygen tank was closed.  I hope it was.  But having the window cracked open a bit was not going to protect her from the dangerous combination of oxygen and a smoldering cigarette.

I considered approaching the car and saying something like:  “I am really concerned about you.  I am a nurse and have a degree in chemistry, so I understand the danger of smoking around oxygen.  Please don’t run this risk for yourself.”

BUT

I know from difficult experience that not everyone appreciates being saved from their own questionable behaviors.  MYOB, said with anger is sometimes the result of what is meant as helpful, concerned intervention.

When my kids were in town for our anniversary, I happened to be standing close enough to hear someone say to two of them, “I love your mother….she has saved me from myself.”  The person, although younger than me, could be viewed as an authority figure over me.  When I approached him about something he had said which I believed was unwise, I did so somewhat fearfully.  I have had situations like this blow up in my face.  Men in authority are especially likely to resent a woman intervening.  Of course, so are people who already know that what they are doing is not in their best interest.  I suspect the lady in the van has heard it all before.

In any event, I did not approach the woman in the car, and I sincerely hope that the cigarette/oxygen combination won’t blow up in her face…literally!

Addendum:

OK...OK....If I am going to be "literal," oxygen would not "blow up" in this situation.  (Hydrogen would, but not oxygen.)What it would do is support combustion.  So if a very small fire began, it would erupt into a larger one.  The extent of the problem would also depend on the fabric content of the woman's clothing.  So it might give the appearance of blowing up given the right/wrong set of circumstances, but not be a blow up in the strictest definition of that term.  Now I feel better.

Is Your Body Your Own?

Is your body your own to do with as you please?

One of the phrases we are hearing frequently in connection with current events is that a woman’s body is her own, and that no one else has a right to control it.  We hear this in regard to the pro-choice movement and in connection with the rash of cases in which a woman has been sexually violated in some way.  Because violating a woman is obviously wrong and not to be tolerated, we could easily find ourselves nodding in agreement with the notion that a woman’s body is her own.

As a Christian, I want to remind myself that my body is actually NOT my own.  I do also understand that I cannot impose this view on those who are not believers. The one who does not accept Christ as his Savior, who does not accept that God has a claim on his life, is free to use and abuse his body.  He/She can cover it with piercings and tattoos, pump it full of drugs, alcohol or decadent desserts, have sex whenever, however and with whomever, or decide to live on kale.  There are, of course, consequences to our behaviors, and we humans are free to experience and deal with those natural results.

But, for the believer, our bodies are NOT our own.

Here are Paul’s words in I Corinthians 6:  Avoid sexual looseness like the plague!  Every other sin that a man commits is done outside his own body, but this is an offense against his own body.  Have you forgotten that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you, and is God’s gift to you, and that you are not the owner of your own body?  You have been bought, and at what a price!  Therefore, bring glory to God in your body. (Phillips’ Translation)

Note that this message is NOT just for women.  If we claim Christ as our personal Savior, he has redeemed us…that is, purchased us...with his blood.  He paid an enormous price!  He has a claim on us.  He expects us to take good care of the bodies he has given us, and not to use them for sinful purposes.  There are quite a few things that people seem to view as pleasurable and which they do not want to deny themselves, but which are clearly harmful.  We do not have a “right” to those things.

In Romans 12, Paul says:  With eyes wide open to the mercies of God I beg you, my brothers, as an act of intelligent worship, to give him your bodies, as a living sacrifice, consecrated to him and acceptable by him.  Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God remold your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all his demands and moves toward the goal of true maturity. (Phillips Translation)

So, if you are tempted to think your body is your own, think again.

And if someone else abuses what belongs to God, they will ultimately answer to him, which is going to be more difficult than answering to their victim or to those who enforce human law.  Oh, yes…they should be held accountable here and now, but public humiliation or jail time won’t wipe out their debt.