Appointment in the Produce Department

I got myself ready for the day in pretty leisurely fashion this morning.  I spent quite a bit of time sitting and staring into space pondering my current existence and what may be coming in the next decade.  What am I supposed to be doing with the rest of my life?  Do we stay here or move to a senior community?  Do I keep trying to write?  How many rejections do I tolerate before I decide I have no potential as a writer?  Should I involve myself in something more in the community?  I don’t want to waste my remaining years on myself.  I would like to do something productive that is helpful to others.  I want to fit into God’s plan for me.

Part of this reverie occurred while I was in the tub.  As the water got cold, I came around to the fact that I had probably spent too much time in this lollygagging, and needed to commence with life.  I scolded myself a bit for wasting time.

Eventually I headed for the grocery store.  After passing the specials on the way in, I went to the produce department, and there, in a case of split second timing, I ran into the reason why my life was timed the way it was this morning.  A dear friend was coming toward me with tears in her eyes.  Had I spent more or less time in contemplation this morning, I would not have run into her, and she needed to talk.  She needed someone to listen, to understand, to encourage, to say “I love you, friend.”

I don’t know what I am supposed to do with the next decade….if I have a decade left.  But, I do know I was supposed to be in the produce department at exactly that time.

Last week, I ran into an acquaintance near the gas pumps at a convenience store.  He brought up the political scene and after we chatted for a few minutes, I told him that I was consoled by the fact that God is sovereign.  He said, “You still believe that!!!”  Yes, I do.  I believe that God allows people to come into positions of power and leadership, because it suits His purposes.  We may not understand, but we do not have God’s mind and don’t know His plan for bringing about His kingdom.  He will accomplish His purposes in the world…and He will get me to the “appointments” He has ordained for me. 

God sees the big picture and the smallest of details.

Off His Meds?

I recently was at a large public gathering at the finish line of a relay race.  There were thousands of people milling around….runners who had finished, family and friends who were cheering runners on, officials, and vendors.  The scene was pretty chaotic.

I wonder how many people were aware of a young man in a rust colored jacket, purple scarf and dark-colored ball cap.  He walked hurriedly through the crowd all over the venue.  Sometimes he walked away from the group on a raised sidewalk along the lakefront.  More than once, he hurried toward the lake front as though he might jump in, but stopped at the very edge.  The constant activity of the group seemed to agitate him.

From a distance, I could see him talking, and I thought it might be on a cell phone.  However, I was close enough on multiple occasions to realize that he wasn’t on a cell phone.  He would say something in a high squeaky voice, and then answer himself in a low growling voice.

Once I had noticed him, I couldn’t help but look for him and check on what he was doing.  I saw absolutely no security at this event.  I suspect that the majority of the time a schizophrenic off his meds is harmful only to himself.  But, we have all read of other cases when a psychotic episode has resulted in harm to others.  Maybe he is one of the “public characters” in that small city and was known to the officials and viewed as harmless.  But, his frantic activity made me ill-at-ease.

I do not know what the solution is to the mental health crisis that is obvious in our society.  Closing institutions and supposedly integrating the mentally ill into society has not worked very well.  It has increased homelessness, and jails are full of psychiatric cases which guards are not properly trained to handle.  Having spent 3 months of my time in nursing school at a truly dreadful psychiatric institution, I can attest that institutionalization is a nightmare too.  One of the wards we were assigned to as students had no head nurse.  The aides were so sadistic and unmanageable that they could not get a nurse to stay there.

Having a family member with mental health issues has made me aware that the mental health care system is difficult to access and that once accessed there are barriers to receiving continuity of care.

The young man in the rust colored jacket may have been off his meds, but he appeared clean and neat, so someone must be watching out for him.  There are many for whom that is not the case.

Fallen Sparrow

I worked in the backyard today, doing some raking and spring clean-up.  We have three large cedar trees in the yard, and in an attempt to keep the lower branches from being eaten during the winter by the local deer, we put wire fencing around them in the fall and remove it in the spring.  My husband is currently out of town and hasn’t had a chance to remove the wire fencing yet, so I could only rake up to the fencing.  I couldn’t get under the trees.

As I raked near one of the cedars, something caught my eye, and I examined it more closely.  The wire fencing was more than long enough to go around one of the trees, so my husband had left the extra fencing on end and coiled up inside the fencing that encircled the tree.  I saw the body of a tiny sparrow stuck in that tube of wire fence.  The poor little thing was long dead.  If it had been alive, I suppose I would have tried to figure out how to get it out of there.  Although, putting the fencing up and taking it down is not a task I have ever tried to do.

I felt sad to think that the sparrow had probably died slowly, trapped, unable to free itself.  Of course, it was only a little sparrow, but…..

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of Your Father.  Matthew 10:29

I did not see the struggle of that sparrow.  But, God did.

Matthew 10:30-31 goes on to say…And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows.

It is not possible for the human mind to comprehend the mind of God.  I suppose that is one reason atheists believe he isn’t there.  How can a mind be so large that it encompasses the universe, sees every sparrow that falls, and knows when we brush our hair and a few pieces come out in the process?  If he knows that trivia, he certainly knows about events in the political scene, is aware of the disasters that befall groups of people, and sees our personal joys and sorrows.

Some people refuse to believe this.

Some believe it and are angry with God for allowing the bad things that happen….although, they don’t necessarily thank him for the good.

I want to be among those who are grateful and in absolute awe.

What Really Happened at the Kasich Town Hall

I attended a John Kasich Town Hall in Watertown, NY on April 15^th and heard every word the man said.  After a presentation about his personal background and policies he has seen work successfully during his times in the House of Representatives and as Governor of Ohio, he took questions from the floor.

In response to a young woman’s question regarding sexual harassment and attacks on college campuses, he gave a lengthy answer on policies which should be in place to protect young women and deal with them correctly and compassionately if they do have such an experience.  At no time did he say anything that any reasonable person would construe as blaming the victim.  He mentioned his own daughters going away to college soon and gave the bit of fatherly advice that a young woman should avoid a party where there is a lot of alcohol.

Sooooooooooo……out of ALL the things about this topic and others that he addressed, guess what is being headlined by social media? 

KASICH IN WATERTOWN ADVISES WOMEN TO AVOID PARTIES WHERE THERE IS A LOT OF ALCOHOL

This has caused all manner of nasty comments by people who were NOT there and assume this was a focus of his remarks.  It has been twisted into “he blames the victim.”

This actually does not surprise me at all.  I have been astounded through the years at the way the media influences how the populace thinks.  Many times when I have attended or been an active participant in a meeting later reported on by the media, I have seen this phenomenon.  The reporter will seize on one small element of the meeting which can be blown up into something inflammatory, or he/she will have a preconceived notion of what they want to report on and squeeze the content of the meeting into the desired mold.

To be fair, the local television station did more of a summary and did not mention this issue at all in their initial broadcasted comments.  The madness occurred on social media where news fragments are spread ever so much more quickly.

Of course, Kasich’s advice is actually sound.  When alcohol flows freely, bad things happen. 

No sober man should take advantage of a drunk woman.  But a drunk women is pretty stupid if she expects a drunk man to be more responsible for his actions than she is for hers.

So, it makes my blood boil that the media grabs attention by perversion of truth.

And

It makes my blood boil when women want equality, but implement it with stupidity.

Where is My Car?

Today I spent some time wandering around the mall parking lot wondering where on earth I had parked my car.  Part of my problem was a bit of disorientation, because I had come out a different door than I had entered, but that isn’t really my excuse.  I don’t normally get disoriented by these slight changes.

As I wandered around, and after finally finding it, I was pondering all of the things I actually do remember.  How can I remember these things, and not remember where I left my car about 30 minutes ago?

I remember my childhood address and phone number, numerous phone numbers that are currently valid, my social security number, my present address and most fortunately, my name.  Although I was in high school 55 years ago, I still know the beginning of Caesar’s Commentary on the Gallic Wars…in Latin!  I can still tutor a high school student in algebra, geometry and trig.  From the security and zero-pressure area of my living room, I can come up with answers to many, many Jeopardy questions.

But….I don’t know where my car is parked!

Perhaps I was distracted by the fact that I had earlier forgotten my wallet.  I arrived at the first stop on my list of errands, reached into my purse to get the wallet and pay…and….no wallet!  Then I remembered that I had more cash in my wallet than I normally carry, so just before leaving home, I took out my wallet, removed some of the cash, and put it in a safe place.  Apparently putting the wallet back into the purse wasn’t part of the routine.   ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!  I had to drive all the way back home, retrieve the wallet, and start over.

I related my woes to Bill, and he asked me why I didn’t just push the horn button on the key chain.  Well, then everyone would have known I couldn’t find my car!

Jesus Washes Me White as Sand

Come now, let us reason together says the Lord, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.  Isaiah 1:18

The brilliant whiteness of snow is used to portray purity in the Bible.  Our sins stain us, but the sacrifice of Jesus can cleanse us and make us so clean that no telltale spot of our sin remains.

While playing on the beach recently one of my granddaughters created a bit of art in the sand.  She wrote “Jesus Washes Me White as Sand.”  The beach did have rather white sand, and I would never criticize this fractured bit of scripture.  She has shown an understanding of the important concept behind the verse.  Before any of my children or grandchildren were born, I was already praying for them to grasp the meaning of these words in a very personal way…..in a way that would permeate every corner of their souls and lives.

Each of my children and grandchildren is unique.  Some are beautiful, some are highly intelligent, some are loaded with personality, some have a sunny disposition or an amazing sense of humor, and some have ambition or a specific talent.  I did not pray for any of those things to be true.  Before I ever had children I prayed that my children and their children would grow into people who would be totally committed to God and to His plan for their lives.  It is all I ever asked of Him.  I never felt concerned about having a child who might deviate from the norm, if only this was true of him or her.  I know God has done His part in revealing Himself to them.  It remains for each of them to do their part in allowing Him into their lives.

It remains for each of us as individuals to allow Him into our lives.

When I go to the Ball Park…

..…I love to watch the people.

*I saw a man with loads of tattoos who was wearing a tank top in order to show them off.  The front of the tank top had the message “Tatooed and Employed.”

*Apparently if you get at least 4 beers, you can get a bucket of ice.  I won’t ever know for sure, because I don’t drink even one beer, much less four.  I can’t stand the smell and figure the taste can’t be much better.

*Two generous applications of sunblock make ones arms so slippery that they skid off the chair armrests.

*Some families go to great lengths to include their special needs family members in baseball outings.  I saw two children with Down’s syndrome.  One of them was a toddler and slept in the mother’s arms most of the time.   That little girl had two older sisters.  I wondered if the couple had a third pregnancy hoping for a son.  Instead of a son, they got a special needs daughter.  I wondered how they were coping with this.  Some people who do fine, but others would struggle.

*I also saw a middle-aged man with cerebral palsy and an elderly man who had had a stroke.  Both came in wheelchairs.  I hope the family of the man who had had a stroke had put some sunblock on him before they came, because he had a very fair complexion and it looked to me like the sun was bothering him.  Both of those families ended up leaving early.

*The person who sang the national anthem was a very young girl….I would guess not as old as ten, and she had an amazing voice for a kid. She sang a cappella, and I thought she had pitched the song too high and was never going to make the top notes, but she did.  She did hit a few clunkers and notes she had to slide in to, but she ended in the same key she started in and was pretty impressive.

*The lemonades were huge….probably 32 ounces.  They cost $6 and a refill in the same cup was $3.  I certainly did not expect to need a refill, but we were sitting in the hot Florida sun, and I drained the cup and got a refill.

*In the same category….as a wimpy northern girl who didn’t have a hat along, I purchased a straw hat in the gift shop, and it was worth every penny of the $25.

*The staff at the Hammond Stadium in Fort Myers is extremely congenial.  We didn’t run in to one cranky person.

*We chatted some with a very pleasant young couple from L.A.  She was originally from Minnesota so she was rooting for the Twins.

*There was a guy behind us quoting Donald Trump.  I wanted to turn around and say that I hoped he didn’t believe everything Donald Trump says, but I refrained.

*Two ladies of my vintage were laughing about a woman a few rows ahead of us who stood up and seemed to be adjusting her undies through her dress.  They said she must not know we were all watching her.  I said that I figured she knew and didn’t care….she thought she would never see any of us again anyway.

*In spite of all of these “people watching” observations, I do know that the Minnesota Twins beat the Boston Red Socks 7 to 4 and that this was the last spring training game.  There were some great plays, and also a mess up by the 3^rd base coach who turned a runner back to second believing that a fly ball had been caught….it hadn’t…the ball was caught on a bounce and the runner would have been safe at third. 

*I am not a big baseball fan, but I totally enjoyed myself.