Peanut Butter Sandwiches and Other Weapons

Periodically the peanut butter sandwich controversy rears its head.  I saw some online discussion again today about a child whose PBJ was confiscated at a school which has a “no PBJ” policy.  One side complains that this is an infringement on the right of a mother to lovingly make the sandwich of her child’s choice.  The other side says that the sandwich is potentially life threatening to allergic children who have a right to be safe at school.

As the mother of a son who grew up with life-threatening allergies to milk, eggs, peanuts and tree nuts (e.g. walnuts, pecans), I see both sides of this issue.  It seems totally unfair to declare that no child can have a peanut butter sandwich at school.  It is a favorite that provides protein along with the carbohydrate and fat, so it is a reasonable nutritious option.  It is easy….a child can even make the sandwich himself. 

BUT 

Some allergic children cannot even tolerate the odor of peanut butter or the slightest accidental contact with it.  Suppose the tables aren’t adequately wiped after lunch and an allergic child eats in that spot at the next lunch hour?   Suppose some mean kid decides it would be funny to sneak a fragment between the bread slices of an allergic child’s sandwich?

Some schools have a special table that is peanut free.  That only works if the situation is adequately supervised, and it doesn’t help the child who is allergic to foods other than peanuts.  I was concerned about someone clowning around and shooting milk out of their straw in the direction of my son.  A splash on the arm would have only caused a few hives, but had he gotten milk in his eyes it would have been a different matter entirely.  As a teen he attended a graduation party where pizza was served.  He did not eat any, but after the meal the kids all went out and played basketball.  Most had not washed their hands.  The cheese residue from their hands was transferred to the ball and from there to my unsuspecting son’s hands.  As he played ball, he wiped perspiration out of his eyes with his hands, and WHAM…he was in a lot of trouble fast.  On another occasion, he was at an event where kids were building their own ice cream sundaes.  Two of the attendees picked up aerosol cans of cream and started running around trying to shoot each other with the cream.  My son jumped up and ran for the nearest exit lest he get caught in the crossfire.  Adult supervision quickly stopped this unauthorized warfare, but suppose my son hadn’t noticed what was going on and had been an unintended casualty?

So what to do?  I solved a lot of the problem by homeschooling my son.  It was not the primary reason I chose to home school him, but it was a contributing factor.  However, everyone cannot make this choice.  Not all mothers possess the ability to home school, or it may be financially necessary for both parents to work.

Certainly having a child who is educated about his/her own allergy is helpful, but what if the child is too young to understand or not mentally agile enough to comprehend the risk?

From the school’s perspective, if they allow PBJs, are they committing to supervise the situation closely?  Are they going to adequately train the cafeteria monitors?

I am not in favor of banning peanut butter sandwiches.

I am in favor of education of teachers, cafeteria workers, lunch monitors, and children….both the allergic and the non-allergic.  Education about other disabilities is included in the curriculum.  Food allergies are a significant disability.

I am in favor of careful attention by those supervising the lunch room, so that out of control situations potentially dangerous to the allergic child do not happen.  Lunch monitors should know that maintaining order is essential to safety.

I am in favor of Benadryl and auto-injecting epinephrine syringes being on site and available for use…even without a prescription specific to a given child.  If there is no on site nurse, someone in the school must be trained to recognize the signs of an allergic reaction and respond appropriately.  When a child goes into anaphylaxis, there is no time to stand around trying to decide what to do.

No child should suffer death by peanut butter sandwich.  No child should have to live with the notion that his favorite sandwich killed his favorite friend.

No Remedy

The Lord, the God of their fathers, sent word to them through his messengers again and again, because he had pity on his people and on his dwelling place.  But they mocked God’s messengers, despised his words and scoffed at his prophets until the wrath of the Lord was aroused against his people and there was no remedy.  II Chronicles 36:15-16

….and there was no remedy…the words came screaming off the page at me when I read them recently.

No remedy for a terminal illness.  As a nurse, I have cared for a child in continuous convulsions, dying of lead poisoning.

No remedy for destroyed relationships.  I have seen gossip shred what had seemingly been multiple loving friendships.

No remedy for broken china.  There are items that I just haven’t been able to super-glue back together.

What does it mean when God Himself says there is no remedy?

It isn’t for lack of trying on His part.  He has repeatedly sent messengers, who weren’t just passively ignored.  They were aggressively mocked.  God is loving and infinitely patient.  He stands ready to forgive.  He is also righteous and just.  The time can come when His holiness demands that He is angry at persistent defiant evil.   And then….there is no remedy.  The tipping point has been reached and judgment falls like a cauldron of scalding oil.

However, historically God always spares a remnant.  No matter how pervasive the evil in a society, a few who bow the knee only to the one true God remain.  When judgment comes some of the righteous may be caught up in it along with the unrighteous….the rain falls on the just and the unjust.  But God always has a plan.  During the era these verses in II Chronicles reference, Daniel was carried off to Babylon, made a eunuch, and forced to serve the foreign monarch.  But, what man intended for evil, God meant for good.  One of the things I find fascinating is that even what is obviously the result of sin on the part of human beings can be redeemed by God and fashioned into a key piece of His master plan.  There may be no remedy, but there is always redemption available to anyone who wants it.

It may be too late for a remedy, but it is never too late for redemption.

Random Thoughts on My Trip to California

Some of the women on southern California beaches incorrectly think they are still “California Girls” and squeeze their no longer lithe bodies into scraps of fabric much too tiny.

The Computer History Museum in Mountain View is so information dense that a couple of hours there are mentally exhausting.  Those in charge of the exhibits should consider that interactivity isn’t just for kids.

The guy next to me on one leg of the trip kept his tray table down the entire flight with his hands under it although he had his eyes closed and was possibly faking sleep.  His hands kept twitching under the tray in the vicinity of his crotch, and I am not certain what he was doing under there.  Can someone join the Mile High Club all by himself?

The consignment store in Mountain View is filled with the cast-offs of the well-off….some really excellent items.

My hair dries noticeably faster in Yorba Linda than it does in upstate New York…..major difference in the humidity.

The salesman where I shopped with my son and daughter-in-law for a sofa was the ideal salesman.  He was not pushy; he was informative; and he had a sense of humor.  This was helpful since my son and daughter-in-law must have tried out 70 sofas before reaching a decision.  It was not yet noon when he informed us that the store closed at 10 PM.

It is possible for two skinny men to lay in the shade of a palm tree trunk….amusing, but possible.

My son does not live on a block…he lives on the edge of a maze.  I discovered this while trying to walk around the block.

When I am severely tired and jet-lagged, my brain does strange things.  When we finally collapsed into bed after a very long day, I began to drift off to sleep but was awakened by the notion that I could not feel my right hand.  My left hand was lying on top of it, but I couldn’t feel it.  As my foggy brain tried to sort out the possibilities, I eventually figured out that my sleeping husband’s hand was positioned across my abdomen, and it was his right hand, not mine, that my left hand was touching.  I was relieved that I hadn’t lost feeling in my right hand, but a bit concerned about the function of my brain.

Sex and Babies

What on earth has happened to our society?  I am absolutely sickened by the notion that single motherhood is an option, or that a couple can hook up, create a baby without having built a relationship with each other, and think that they are going to be a family even though they fight constantly.

There is a whole subset of our society that gives no thought to what it means to bring a baby into a secure and stable environment.  Becoming pregnant is some sort of status symbol among young women...."oh, isn't this cool....see my belly getting bigger!  I can get milk, eggs and fresh fruit with my WIC check.  Social Services will increase the rent allotment for our apartment, because we are living together as a family unit.  Yeah....I've got lots of things for the baby...I got them from friends and picked them up at the thrift store.....oh, and my grandmother will give me money for what the baby needs."

Yeah...I am the grandmother....whoops, the great-grandmother....and my heart breaks.  I am furious with the total fools in the media who have glamorized this sorry condition.  I struggle with the role that social services plays.  It is a good thing there is a safety net or a bad thing because people learn to rely on it?  

How is it that there is no longer a connection between actions and consequences?  Doesn't anybody get it anymore?

Here is truth.  If you are going to bring a child into the world you should:

1.  Become the best you can be as a single person.  Forget about the opposite gender and engaging in sex.  Develop your mind and your social skills.  Get an education, travel, establish yourself in a career.  Bring something good and positive to your role as a wife and mother.
2.  Look for a partner who shares your values and with whom there is mutual respect.  Become friends.  Delay sexual gratification.
3.  Enter into a real marriage...not some silly sham that involves spending lots of money on a ceremony, reception and honeymoon, just because it makes you 'queen for a day.'  Promise to love this person 'til death do you part and mean it.
4.  Prayerfully with your partner, consider whether you are ready to accept the responsibility of being a parent.  Your will never be 100% ready, but it should not be entered into on a whim or because you think it will cement a crumbling relationship.  This is a real human being you are thinking about creating, and parenting is not an 18 year job.  It is a life-time commitment.

The grandmother or great-grandmother wants to give you baby gifts.  She wants to hold your baby and ohhh and ahhhh, but she does not want to raise the child.  She does not want to have her heart broken as you scream at the child or at your spouse.  She does not want to have to watch the child raised in poverty.

Please, don't settle for less than what God intends.  He didn't set down guidelines to torture us and make us miserable...it is possible to survive virginity until marriage.  God knows what we and our children need in order to be fulfilled....and it is NOT easy casual meaningless sex.

Will He Find One?

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. II Chronicles 16:9

The watchful eyes that never sleep,

Search throughout the earth.

They miss no movement,

Not even the fall of a sparrow.

Dark and light are alike to Him.

Shadows cannot hide us.

There is no corner,

That cannot be pierced by His gaze.

Adam and Eve hid in the garden,

Knowing their sin.

He called to them, knowing where they were

Knowing what they had done.

Yet, He searches not to judge,

But to bless and strengthen.

He looks for the fully committed heart.

Will He find one?

Solomon's Discerning Question

But will God really dwell on earth with men?  The heavens, even the highest heavens, cannot contain you.  How much less this temple I have built!  II Chronicles 6:18


Solomon, renowned for both his knowledge and wisdom, asks a very discerning question.  Will God really dwell on earth with men?


I understand that many people do not believe in God.  But....if there is an all powerful being who created all matter and is the source of all energy, would He choose to even communicate with insignificant man?  Would He choose to "dwell" with us?


Solomon's father David grappled with the same question in Psalm 8: 3-4  When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?


After Solomon completes his prayer in II Chronicles 6, the first verse in chapter 7 says:  ...fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and sacrifices, and the glory of the Lord filled the temple.  The answer was YES!


Centuries later Christ was born.  Isaiah's prophecy (Is. 7:14) is quoted in Matthew 1:23.  And they will call him Immanuel..which means, "God with us."  God again chose to dwell with man.  This time in the person of Jesus Christ.  The answer to Solomon's question was YES!


When Christ returned to heaven, He left behind the Holy Spirit, as an indwelling presence for the church and the individual believer.  In John chapter 16, Christ explains that when He leaves the earth, His followers will not be abandoned.  He will send the Spirit to comfort, counsel and guide into truth.  He again makes provision for God to dwell among men.  The answer to the question is again YES!


Now as to 'why' God would choose to dwell with man...that is a mystery.  The only explanation I know is that He chose to love us. He decided to create us 'in his image' and decided to allow us to have a relationship with Him.  It is in His very nature to do so, whether or not we deserve it....and by the way, we don't.


I am grateful that He is there, and that He cares.  He didn't have to do that!  It's not like the creator and sustaining force of the universe needs us.


What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?

Indiscreet Conversation

Have you ever been near someone who was talking loudly about something that you had no business overhearing?  There is a real increase in these types of incidents with the prevalence of cell phones.  People walk along in very public settings having what ought to be very private conversations.  Most of the time when you overhear these conversations, you don't know who is being talked about.  But...what if you did?


Although my two stories do not involve cell phones, they are cautionary.


A few years ago, I was sitting in the waiting area of a doctor's office where my father had an appointment.  The doctor's private office was close enough to the waiting room that he should have known enough to close his office door when having a private conversation.  I could clearly hear him on the phone discussing what had occurred at his church board meeting the previous evening, and how he felt about it.  It did not involve my church, but I could tell from the conversation exactly which church it did involve, and I was acquainted with people from that church.  I kept what I had heard to myself....I had no business knowing it...but I could have created upheaval by sharing what I overheard.


Many years ago, my aunt was separated from her husband.  She was harboring hopes of reconciliation and had no reason to think that was an impossibility.  One day she was riding the bus back from work in downtown Buffalo.  Two women in the seat next to her were gossiping about their boss, and the fact that he and his secretary had recently started living together.  They had no idea that the woman sitting in the next seat was the estranged wife of the boss.  She went home devastated, her hopes dashed.  Perhaps, it was a good thing that she found out the truth, but what a painful way to learn it.


It is not uncommon for one of my daughters to be talking to me on a cell phone while in a store or other public setting.  I have lost track of the number of times I have told her, "This conversation should not be occurring where other people can hear you."


Unless you know every person in ear-shot and want what you are discussing shared with them, you need to assume that someone may be present who shouldn't overhear your conversation.