Sex and Babies

What on earth has happened to our society?  I am absolutely sickened by the notion that single motherhood is an option, or that a couple can hook up, create a baby without having built a relationship with each other, and think that they are going to be a family even though they fight constantly.

There is a whole subset of our society that gives no thought to what it means to bring a baby into a secure and stable environment.  Becoming pregnant is some sort of status symbol among young women...."oh, isn't this cool....see my belly getting bigger!  I can get milk, eggs and fresh fruit with my WIC check.  Social Services will increase the rent allotment for our apartment, because we are living together as a family unit.  Yeah....I've got lots of things for the baby...I got them from friends and picked them up at the thrift store.....oh, and my grandmother will give me money for what the baby needs."

Yeah...I am the grandmother....whoops, the great-grandmother....and my heart breaks.  I am furious with the total fools in the media who have glamorized this sorry condition.  I struggle with the role that social services plays.  It is a good thing there is a safety net or a bad thing because people learn to rely on it?  

How is it that there is no longer a connection between actions and consequences?  Doesn't anybody get it anymore?

Here is truth.  If you are going to bring a child into the world you should:

1.  Become the best you can be as a single person.  Forget about the opposite gender and engaging in sex.  Develop your mind and your social skills.  Get an education, travel, establish yourself in a career.  Bring something good and positive to your role as a wife and mother.
2.  Look for a partner who shares your values and with whom there is mutual respect.  Become friends.  Delay sexual gratification.
3.  Enter into a real marriage...not some silly sham that involves spending lots of money on a ceremony, reception and honeymoon, just because it makes you 'queen for a day.'  Promise to love this person 'til death do you part and mean it.
4.  Prayerfully with your partner, consider whether you are ready to accept the responsibility of being a parent.  Your will never be 100% ready, but it should not be entered into on a whim or because you think it will cement a crumbling relationship.  This is a real human being you are thinking about creating, and parenting is not an 18 year job.  It is a life-time commitment.

The grandmother or great-grandmother wants to give you baby gifts.  She wants to hold your baby and ohhh and ahhhh, but she does not want to raise the child.  She does not want to have her heart broken as you scream at the child or at your spouse.  She does not want to have to watch the child raised in poverty.

Please, don't settle for less than what God intends.  He didn't set down guidelines to torture us and make us miserable...it is possible to survive virginity until marriage.  God knows what we and our children need in order to be fulfilled....and it is NOT easy casual meaningless sex.