Lowering My Expectations

I believe I have reached a point where I now expect that if a company can mess things up, they will.

When we returned from Florida a few weeks ago, I was denied a boarding pass on our flight, because I was traveling with my mother-in-law whose name is the same as mine.  My husband had dutifully entered our different middle initials when he booked the flight, but either the middle initials got dropped or somehow changed so that we had the same middle initial.  In any event, US Air would not give me a boarding pass even though we were both present at the counter with our passports that clearly showed different birth dates and different middle initials.  They claimed there was no way for them to fix the problem.  Please note:  there is apparently no room for common sense here.

Because my mother-in-law is 92 and was traveling in a wheelchair, I needed to be on the same flight with her.  She required my assistance in the bathroom.  We finally bought me a new one-way ticket under my first and middle names, since we were out of time to solve the problem and still make the flight.

Weeks have passed and the situation is still not resolved.  The flights were booked through Orbitz.  They insist that my husband correctly entered our initials and that this information was passed on electronically, so that US Air should have had the correct information.  They say if the names and initials had been identical, a ticket would not even have been issued.  US Air refuses to accept responsibility.  They insist that the middle initials were the same.  We had flown down to Florida on Delta.  Apparently Delta "subcontracted" us to US Air for the return flight.  Delta had indicated that they had to take the space out from between our first names and initials in order to override the problem and issue the boarding passes on the way down.  US Air insisted that they couldn't do that.

So...we are now trying to get someone to give us a refund.  You can guess how that is going.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw my dentist.  We agreed that I needed a crown on one of my teeth and that I should proceed with trying to get prior approval from the insurance company.  I told him this was going to result in a problem.  A couple of years ago, the insurance company got mixed up and thought that I had a crown on tooth #19 when it was, in fact, my husband who had the crown on that tooth.  The dentist put a lot of effort into straightening the mess out.  Now that I do need a crown on #19, I figured it would be another hassle.  Sure enough, today I got a denial on payment for the crown, because I already had one according to their records.  This actually didn't upset me.  I fully expected it.

So, I guess I have reached a point where I expect companies to be inept.  From here on out, I will be pleasantly surprised by competency...and that is a sad commentary on our society.

Thin Air

I have just spent the last week in Dillon, Colorado, surrounded by majestic snow-capped peaks.  When it isn’t snowing, the sky is vivid blue, but sunshine or snow, the air is thin.  Although I normally live less than 500 feet above sea level, the mile-high city of Denver doesn’t bother me.  However, moving up to 9000 feet in Dillon makes a noticeable difference.  Walking up two flights of stairs is work…especially when carrying groceries.  One afternoon, I went ice-skating at the arena in Breckenridge (9600 ft) and was surprised by how quickly I tired.

I am sure that if I moved to Dillon or the vicinity, my body would accommodate over time.  The fatigue and shortness of breath while climbing stairs would eventually go away.   In Ottawa, at 200-some feet above sea level, I have skated the nearly 5 miles distance on the Rideau Canal both ways with ease.  Given enough time to adjust, I suspect I could skate for hours in the mountains of Colorado too. 

Our bodies have an amazing capacity to adjust to different environmental conditions.  I think that is a good thing.

But…

I’m afraid we also accommodate to changing conditions in ways which are not good.  I am afraid that we as a society are breathing air that is dangerously thin.

We have hundreds of TV channels to watch, but so little worth watching.  The more that is available, the more the quality seems to decline.

Closets are stuffed with clothing…lots of cheap stuff that is trendy for a season and more or less disposable.  Quality of workmanship is passé.

The shelves in our groceries stores offer an abundance and tremendous variety, but as a society we are consuming “junk food” and becoming increasingly obese and unhealthy.

My husband and I both remember as young people listening to adult family members discuss and debate issues of substance.  How often do today’s young people experience this?  If the discussions occur, are younger people even present for them, or are they in their rooms watching TV, or perhaps, physically present, but busy texting their friends about something empty-headed?

For those of us who still bother to attend church, what of our services?  Are they doctrinally rich or are they emotional, feel-good fluff?  When we inhale, do we receive something dense enough to invigorate us spiritually?

The air is becoming thin in both the world and the church.  It makes my chest hurt to breath it in, but I don’t want to become used to it.

Eumenides

Eumenides by Aeschylus is the last play in a trilogy about Agamemnon and his dysfunctional family.  In the second episode Orestes had killed his mother Clytemnestra in response to her murdering his father Agamemnon.  Orestes has wandered the earth seeking atonement.  Apollo has been his guide and champion in obtaining cleansing from his guilt.  Apollo had also directed him to carry out the murder.

The chorus in Eumenides is composed of the Furies, who are avenging spirits.  They rail against Apollo and the atonement of anyone who has murdered his mother.  Orestes believes he was justified in this act, because his mother had killed his father.  The Furies believe that his was the greater sin, because he shared common blood with his mother.

Orestes appeals to the goddess Athena who convenes a jury to hear the evidence.  Apollo argues Orestes’ case.  One of his arguments is that the father actually “begets” and the mother is only a vessel in which the planted seed grows.  So, Orestes had a greater tie to his father than to his mother.  Apollo’s lack of knowledge of reproductive science notwithstanding, when the jury casts their votes,  the count shows they are split evenly.  Athena casts the deciding ballot in favor of Orestes being acquitted.

The Furies are distraught.  The reason for their upset is not exactly altruistic.  It isn’t just that Orestes has gotten away with murdering his mother, it is also that they have lost the argument, and so believe, that their influence and respect given them will be diminished.  Athena convinces the Furies to become protectors of the city of Athens, and thus, to receive honor.  Eventually they are convinced, Zeus is praised, and all is well.

Interesting quotes:

Athena:  Wrong shall not triumph here by force of oaths.

The Furies:  The deed is done, but thence ensues the consequence.

The Furies:  Never be this thirsty ground,

                Drunk with fratricidal blood,

                Nor lust of Power insatiate

                Snatch at vengeance evermore.

                In one fellowship of Good

                Each be to his neighbor bound,

                One in love and one in hate;

                For such grace,  where’er  ‘tis found,

                Lays the balm to many a wound.

I am curious about the way in which these plays were actually presented.  The chorus has major passages to recite.  Where they able to do this with sufficient unity and clarity that the audience could actually understand what was said?  What was it like to go to the theater in ancient Greece?  I am perfectly OK with never knowing the answer to that question. 

Irony

This morning as I exercised in the hotel fitness room, the television was tuned to HLN.  The reporter read a story in a totally neutral tone about a billboard that had been taken down, because of its message:  “The most dangerous place for an African-America is in the womb.”  The billboard message was obviously placed by an anti-abortion group and created a major uproar.

The next story, read in an oh-how-sad tone was about dead baby dolphins washing up on the Gulf shores.

Oh, the irony.

In our society it is perfectly acceptable to intentionally kill unborn African-American babies, but we are supposed to feel guilty that our actions (i.e. the Gulf oil spill) may be causing dolphin deaths.

Something is radically wrong with our collective reasoning.

Stranger on a Plane

During the second leg of our journey yesterday, my husband and I were assigned seats on the plane that were not together.  We aren't sure how this happened as he had booked the tickets several weeks ago.  The agent at the departure counter was at least able to change our seating so that we were across the aisle from one another. He sat next to a man wearing a headset, who was not at all interactive.  I sat next to 9 and 12 year old boys.  Their mother and sister were in the row behind us.  I tried offering that my husband and I would switch seats with the mother and her daughter, so that their family group would all be within sight of each other.  She declined.  My offer was not entirely altruistic.


I repeat.  I sat next to 9 and 12 year old boys...on a four hour flight.


The mom had plenty of food along which she passed between the seats to the boys.  The 9 year old, who was next to me, ate a sandwich wrap as soon as we were airborne.  It was filled with lettuce, other veggies and chunks of chicken, which fell out in all directions as he ate.  I actually found this somewhat amusing, but only because I am not the one who cleans the plane.


The boys were remarkably well behaved for the first three hours.  They had electronic games to keep them busy.  However, after that time period, they apparently hit the wall and began hitting each other.  I had not tried to engage them in conversation prior to this, not knowing how the mother would feel about a stranger behaving like a grandmother.  But, when the punching started I told the boys to "cool it," and then started to talk to them to distract them from each other.


At first the older boy, who was next to the window, talked to me briefly, telling me their names and ages, where they lived, and where they were going.  That produced a hiatus in the altercation.  When things heated up again, I talked to the younger boy who was sitting next to me.  I learned that he is a twin to his sister, that his favorite subject in school is PE (because recess is sometimes boring), that he likes lacrosse, and that they were on their way to a skiing vacation for two weeks.  We covered a great many other topics.  His most poignant comment was this:
"I have a grandfather that lives in Maine."
I asked, "Where in Maine?"  
"I don't know, " he replied.  "We never visit him," and then wistfully and with a slight shrug, "I don't know why."


I thought about my two granddaughters who live in Maine, and how much I enjoy visiting them.  I wondered what family dynamics caused the lack of visits for which the boy had no explanation.  I didn't ask any questions, although my head was spinning with them. "Is the grandfather, the father of an ex-husband?  Is he a drunk or otherwise undesirable person for children to be around?  Is he the mother's father, and are they estranged?"  I didn't want to be a busy-body stranger on the plane, so I took the conversation in another direction.


But, I wonder if the grandfather's heart aches over this.  I think a little boy's heart does.  Being a 9 year old boy, I doubt that he dwells on it, but when it occurs to him, there is a twinge.


Sometimes as adults, we make decisions with little thought as to the impact on children.  We think they are oblivious, but a stranger on a plane may learn otherwise.

A Little Dose of Guilt

Time magazine came today and includes a color-coded map indicating what percent of total household consumption expenditure is spent on food in various countries around the world.  Only 7 percent is spent on food in the US and Canada, while 45% goes for food in Kenya and 46% in Pakistan.  


I can't help but think of all the things I would not have if nearly half of what I spent had to go towards food.  I am not an extravagant person by American standards. I never buy the most expensive of anything.  I walk through the mall and can't figure out who keeps all those stores in business.  My house is furnished comfortably, but it doesn't reek of money.  I still feel a bit guilty.


I am no more valuable in God's sight than the poorest soul on earth.  I didn't do anything to deserve to be born in the United States.  I am grateful for a warm house on a cold night, for clean running water, for a comfortable bed and soft pillow and for the good meal we had this evening.  It is true that my husband and I are hard workers, but so are many people around the world who have none of the comforts and conveniences we enjoy.


Those of us with abundant resources do have an obligation to the rest of the world.  We are stewards of what God allows us to have.  It is a good thing to be reminded.

Choephoroe by Aeschylus

Evil seems to have a trickle-down effect on generations to come.

As the play Choephoroe opens, Agamemnon has been killed by his wife and her lover and has been buried.  His daughter Electra and a chorus of women go to his tomb to mourn.  There Electra finds a lock of Orestes’ hair.  Orestes is her brother (Agamemnon’s son) and has been out of the country.  She realizes he must have returned.

The siblings stand mourning at the tomb and plotting to murder their mother Clytemnestra and her lover Aegisthus in revenge for their father’s murder.   At one point Electra declares, “We live in a community of hate.”  The decision is made that Electra will go back home as though nothing much has happened.  Orestes and his friend Pylades will get inside the palace by pretending to be travelers looking for refuge for the night.  This they do.  Once inside they carry out their plan to kill Clytemnestra and Aegisthus.

Although he has spent several pages justifying his actions, Orestes is, after the deed, plagued by a vision of creatures with blood dripping from their eyeballs coming after him.  He rushes off leaving the chorus to sum things up.  They, of course, are clueless as to whether these murders are the end or the beginning.

“Shall I hail thee Wind of Deliverance, or art thou a blast of doom?

Oh, when will thy course be finished, when wilt thou change and cease,

And the stormy heart of Havoc be lulled into lasting peace?”

As I write this, Egypt has been in upheaval for two weeks.  President Hosni Mubarak has just resigned.  But, is this the end or just the beginning?

Is our world a “Community of Hate?”