Apparently Focus on the Family developed this ad based on the story of a very talented college quarterback whose mother was encouraged to abort him. They see the ad as a celebration of choosing life. NOW sees it as anti-abortion and disrespectful of a woman's right to chose.
I may have to actually watch the Superbowl this year...or not. The ad will probably appear on the internet as soon as it has played during the game.
In any event, it made me think about my own experience. I became pregnant just about 24 years ago, two months before my 41st birthday. Our youngest child at the time was 13, and the "empty nest" was in sight. We had not planned the pregnancy. We had been using birth control, but.... even the mathematically gifted occasionally make miscalculations.
Neither my husband nor I were upset by the news. Although we thought we had our hands full with the children we already had, I had told God many times over the years that if He, in His wisdom, knew we should have another child, that was just fine with me. So, both my husband and I reacted with an "oh-what-a-good-idea-why-didn't-we-think-of-that" attitude.
My OB-GYN group did not share this line of thought. They stamped "High Risk--Advanced Maternal Age" in red letters on the outside of my chart. They told me that I had to go to genetic counseling for their legal protection, so that they could document that I understood the risks of continuing the pregnancy. Three times they urged me to have an amniocentesis. Three times I turned it down.
I found all this quite annoying, because:
1. I am a nurse. I knew perfectly well what the risks were.
2. I was quite aware of the increased incidence of Down's Syndrome in older parents.
3. We had already adopted a daughter who had a physical disability. How could I consider NOT continuing the pregnancy? What message would that have sent to her?
4. Anything treatable prenatally would have been found on the ultrasound, not through amniocentesis. The only reason for that procedure would have been if I would consider an abortion.
I knew that the genetic counselor would sketch out a family tree and put every possible negative thing in the squares and circles, so I made my own family tree and put every positive thing in the squares and circles....artistic ability, musical talent, obvious high intelligence, creativity, organizational skills, etc. Although my personal decision wasn't based on logic and probability, by the time I finished my chart, I was convinced the odds were in our favor.
Of course, I never believed this was a roll of the dice. I just thought that might make more sense to people who don't put God in the equation, and make them stop nagging me.
So...what did God send us? Where do I begin?
Our only son.
A sweet toddler who verbalized his love for me in the era when his teenage sisters were sassing me.
A genuinely cute kid with a great sense of humor.
A child who never rocked the boat....from the get-go he behaved as though listening to one's parents was the only reasonable approach to life. Displeasing his parents was, in his mind, counterproductive.
Not once, did he give me grief over taking out the garbage.
His room was NOT a pig sty.
When he visits us now, he goes out of his way to be helpful.
He did, however, make a liar out of my husband. When I told my husband that I was pregnant. The first words out of his mouth were, "Oh....I will be 65 before the kid finishes college!"
Our son took his first college course at the age of 13, finished his Bachelors at the age of 19 and his Masters at the age of 20. Then he went out and found himself a real adult job. My husband was only 63 at that point and didn't mind in the least that he had been proven wrong.
I know that this story could have been different. I know I could now be struggling with what to do about a disabled child as I age. I'd like to think that God would have provided me with the strength to deal with those challenges. Our son...and our other children....have and continue to bring challenges into our lives. So far, God has been faithful in helping us to cope. I have no reason to think He will not continue to do so.
Becoming a parent is always a risk. I don't know any other way to approach this rather frightening proposition than with faith, and today, I am celebrating my choice.
