A Prayer and a Promise

I was still a child when I began to pray for Bill…before I knew him.  Soon after inviting Jesus into my heart and life, I thought about the fact that if I were ever to marry, there was somewhere in the world a young boy who would one day be terribly important to me, and that he was facing the struggles of growing up as I was.  I prayed that God would protect him and help him to grow into the man God wanted him to be.  I prayed that we would meet in the right time and way.

As I grew up pretty much dateless, but being a careful observer of my friends’ relationships, I came up with three criteria, which I believed were God’s directives for me.  The man I married had to be a committed Christian, he had to be at least as intelligent as I was, and he had to have a strong enough personality to handle my strong personality.  These characteristics were in no way a demand on my part.  I believed them to be God’s leading.

At the age of 21 when I could count my actual dates on one hand, I came to grips with the idea that I might never marry.  It was possible the person for whom I had been praying might not exist.  There certainly were men in the world with those characteristics, but maybe no one was in God’s plan for me.  I promised God that I would not “settle” for something less than his plan for me, and that if that plan was for me to be single, I would be the happiest single lady on the planet.  I would not be sad or bitter.  I would be joyful in the life He planned out for me.

I met Bill about 3 months later.  I don’t know at what point I stopped praying for the nameless boy, and began instead to pray specifically for Bill, but that did happen.  When I realized it, I knew it was significant.  Here too was someone who met the criteria and brought a whole lot of bonuses to the relationship…wonderful things for which I had not thought to ask.

Now he is gone, and I don’t have to pray for him, because he is with Jesus.  But, what of my promise to be happy “single?”  It occurred to me this morning, that it is time to make good on that promise. I am sure I will continue to have times of great sadness, but I refuse to be bitter or angry at God.  I will have a positive attitude about my life.  I will find meaningful activities.  I will be joyful in my relationship with God.

Fifty-six years later, I have a chance to keep my promise, and I will.