What is a widow?
*much more than a box to be checked on a survey
*someone I didn’t expect to be
*a member of a club practically no one wants to join
*a person who feels like she has lost a body part
*someone whose sleep patterns are altered
*a person who is struggling to find her purpose
*someone who has a gaping wound, an aching space that can’t be
filled
*a person who has no appetite and no desire to cook
*someone wondering, “Who am I now?”
*a person who rarely cried before, but now cries daily
Having talked with several other widows in the past 6 weeks
since I became one, I can state that all the above are true of most of us.
Most of us hesitate the first time we have to check “widow”
instead of “married.”
Most of us have an enormous sense of loss, as though part of
our very selves is missing.
If our spouse died during the night, we may awaken every night
at that time…as though an alarm was going off.
We wonder why our husband is gone, but we are still here.
When eating alone, we choke down food, because that is what we
are supposed to do.
We have a bond with other widows that we never realized would
exist. We understand each other even
without words. The bond is
bittersweet. It is comforting, but not
something for which we previously wished.
We are living in a strange new world.
We are living.
