Memories before Birth

I have mentioned this topic before, but in view of the recent change in the New York state law regarding late abortions, I want to expand on it.

Both of my biological children claimed to have memories of being in my womb.  Both expressed these ideas between the ages of 2 and 3, and then apparently forgot them as they got older.

My daughter and I were looking at a magazine and talking about the pictures when she was about 2 and ½.  We came to a picture of a baby in the womb.  I said, “This is a picture of a baby in the mommy’s tummy.  The baby floats in water in there.”  She replied, “I remember.  I scratched my fingers to get out.”

This was startling, because late in the pregnancy, I often felt a fluttering sensation as though her fingers were tickling me from the inside.  I had always imagined that if the bag of waters broke, it would be near the opening of the cervix, but one night as I was trying to go to sleep, I felt a popping sensation on the right side of my abdomen in the area in which I normally felt the moving fingers.  I felt the warm liquid flowing down my right side toward the cervical opening.  I grabbed a towel and stuffed it between my legs just in time to catch the gush of the amniotic fluid.  Did she really remember this?

In my son’s case, there was no picture which triggered his comment.  One day, he marched into the kitchen and out of the clear blue declared, “When I was in your tummy, I could not hear your voice, but music fell on my head.”  I probably should have asked a follow-up question, but I was so surprised that I just stood there trying to wrap my head around his statement.  He did not describe this sensation in a way that made it likely he had heard a comment by someone else.  It was as though, he had felt a sensation in the womb, which he now recognized we call “music.”  During the pregnancy, I often sat down at the piano and played and sang.  I continued to sing in a choir and sing solos during that time.  He apparently could not hear distinct words, but he must have felt vibrations which were pleasant.

Suppose instead of pleasant vibrations, a child feels an assault that terminates his life?

I have read the argument that a woman should not be made to continue a pregnancy that is discovered not to be viable in the last trimester.  Just because it is not viable, does not mean the child cannot feel pain!  If my daughter knew she was trying to get out, and my son recognized music, might not any child feel agony as life is snuffed out?  Wouldn’t it be better, if the pregnancy was allowed to continue…perhaps with an early delivery?  If the baby didn’t start to breathe, his end would at least be peaceful.  If he lived briefly, he could be held and know love for a brief time. 

There is always the possibility that doctors are wrong too.  I know of a beautiful and intelligent college graduate, whose mother was advised to consider abortion.  I was over 40 when pregnant with my son.  I had to repeatedly refuse amniocentesis and was forced into genetic counselling.  The medical group said they had to be sure I wanted to continue the pregnancy.  Conditions which are treatable prenatally are found through ultrasound which I did not refuse.  The only reason for amniocentesis would have been if I was considering an abortion.  The pregnancy which was by medical personnel considered to be “high risk” due to “advanced maternal age” resulted in an exceptional son.  Doctors are not gods.  They are not always right.

How I wish music fell on every unborn baby’s head and with it the blessing of a mother’s love.  Every child may not be able to verbalize it before the memory is forgotten, but every child may be able to feel it.  Why run the risk of inflicting terror on a helpless baby who is your own flesh and blood?