African Violet

I have some lovely houseplants, but they must learn to survive on benign neglect.  I bear them no ill-will.  I like them, but I am not devoted.  I water them once a week, fertilize when it occurs to me…which is rarely, and repot them even more rarely.  Most of them put up with this low-commitment relationship, but then…there is the African violet.

I have written about African violets before. The house I lived in when I received a basket of five different African violets as a gift was apparently suited to their needs.   I previously described my delight when they actually bloomed a second time.  I had the basket on a table near a north facing window, and they bloomed repeatedly.  When we moved nearly seven years ago, I realized the only north facing window was a tiny one in a bathroom.  I moved the basket of violets around to various locations to no avail.  I finally took the aggressive step of repotting, but still no blossoms appeared.  I ended up giving all but one away.  I would have given that one away too, but no one wanted it. 

Since it was refusing to bloom, I had no idea what color I was keeping.  I placed it in a west facing window positioning it so that the sunlight would not hit it directly.  It continued to receive its weekly drink, but nothing else.  To my surprise it eventually bloomed and does so once or twice a year.  I am always delighted when I see the blooms beginning to unfurl.

I had an aunt who had beautiful African violets.  She said she talked to them and “patted their little leaves.”  She was a bit of a fruit loop in other ways, and I wasn’t anxious to follow her example.  I may, however, eventually tell this plant just how lovely I think it is.  Perhaps, I will even give it a bit of a pat and confess my love.

A Pile of Dust

I know people who go whistling through life without giving one thought to their motivations, never engaging in introspection.  It seems as if, their heads are full of white noise.   I know other people who agonize over what they do, what they think, and why.  Sometimes I would like to shake the oblivious types.  I wish I could untangle the knots into which the overthinkers tie themselves.  That includes myself, as I have a tendency toward the latter extreme.

This was the topic of discussion recently with a friend.  I have previously discussed this topic with myself.  I think this need for introspection is at least in part related to wanting to be sure one is doing the “right” thing, and the fact that we don’t always get feedback on that issue.  It would be nice if we got quarterly reports on how we are doing, but that isn’t the way life works.  It would be nice if we could know with certainty, but that isn’t how life works either.  And…maybe it wouldn’t actually be so “nice.”

One thing of which I want to assure overthinkers, and which has been a comfort to me personally, is that “He remembers that we are dust.”

He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him, as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.  Psalm 103:10-14

God is not sitting up in heaven waiting for us to mess up so He can zap us.  We are certainly going to say, do, or think the wrong thing at some point…pretty much daily.  Other human beings may sit in judgment looking for something to criticize, but God does not do that.  He wants us to recognize our own frailty and look to him for redemption.  He knows exactly what we are made of….and it is dust!  We are inherently flawed.  No matter how hard we try to do good, we will not achieve it all the time.  But if our desire is to honor and serve God, if we love Him and accept the forgiveness He offers, we can forgive ourselves too.  Then we won’t need constant affirmation from other human beings, and we can let their judgments roll off.  We don’t have to accept the hurt caused by others (well-meaning or not).

When a loving father is teaching his child a new skill, he does not expect perfection.  He expects an honest effort and improvement over time.  He expects the child will come to him with questions.  He knows the child is inexperienced and does not want to crush his spirit by being overly critical or demanding.  It is true that some human parents are demanding and hurtful, but our Heavenly Father is not.

He is like this father:

“Oh, look…my 6 month old can’t walk yet, but he is rocking on all fours trying to crawl.

Wow…he is 9 months old and pulling himself to a stand.

He is tottering and looks like a drunken sailor, but he is only a year old and hasn’t perfected his walking.

Now that he is two, he can skip and jump.

I am so proud of my boy.  He just came in first at the cross-country meet.

Have I mentioned, my son just ran his first marathon.”

At each point in development, the parent has something to be proud of and can encourage the child to the next level.  No one expects a 6 month-old to run a marathon.

God watches our development lovingly.  He picks us up when we fall.  He is keenly aware of our flaws and frailties, but He loves us.  He forgives us and urges us on.

Ah Sovereign Lord, I accept the fact that I am dust and thank you for remembering.