Home Alone!

The first time we left our kids alone to “babysit” themselves, they were about eleven, twelve and thirteen.  Nate was not born yet, so I’m talking about Janelle, Laura and Michelle.  I don’t remember where Bill and I went, but we decided the girls were old enough to manage a couple of hours without getting into too much trouble.  Hmmm……

We arrived home and everything seemed to be OK on the first floor of the house, although the girls did seem to be especially gleeful.  On going upstairs, we discovered that the hallway had been turned into a tangled spider web of yarn strung between door knobs and light fixtures.  

When we went into our room and flipped on the light switch music began blaring.  They had plugged a tape recorder with the volume turned way up into the outlet which normally had a lamp plugged into it.   I kept my cool through all of this.  The monkey business had kept them busy all evening, so they hadn’t gotten into any serious trouble.

When I went into the bathroom, I noticed that the fuzzy cover from the toilet seat was on the floor in the corner and was obviously wet.  “What happened here?” I inquired.

It seems the girls had decided that if they put up the lid over the toilet, and placed the fuzzy cover on the seat instead of the lid, I would come in and not realize this, and when I went to sit down, I would fall butt first into the toilet.  The problem was that after they set this all up, they decided that it would work best if the room was dark, so they needed to unscrew the light bulbs over the sink.  They couldn’t reach the bulbs, so Laura without thinking about what they had just done, decided to stand on the toilet seat....and fell in feet first.

I totally lost it at this point.  The mental picture of her falling in was more than I could handle, and I burst out laughing.  So much for maintaining any serious ability to tell them not to pull such a stunt again.

Later trying to crawl into bed and finding that they had “short-sheeted” it was pretty anti-climactic.  I just started laughing all over again about Laura finding herself standing in the toilet. 

I am actually smiling right now as I think about it three decades later.

Surreal Hallelujah Chorus

Last evening the sermon at our church included a reference to the Hallelujah Chorus, and the fact that it is traditional to stand when it is performed.  I never hear a reference made or stand during the performance of this inspiring piece without my mind going back to the one time, I did NOT stand.

Decades ago, a church in our community was hosting a college choir.  They were in need of overnight housing for the members of the choir, so I offered our home, even though we were not regular attenders at that church.

I was enjoying the concert which was coming to an end, when a man who knew me well tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Something is wrong with my mother.”

I turned around and about two rows behind me sat an elderly woman whose skin was ashen, her lips blue, and her forehead covered with drops of perspiration.  She was slumped in the seat.  She clearly was not breathing.

I jumped up and hurried to her.  I could immediately see that her dentures were covering her airway.  I dug them out of her mouth and handed them to someone….I don’t remember who.  People quickly moved to the side, and we swung her legs up and laid her out flat on the church pew.  I knelt on the floor, pulled her jaw forward, and began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.  At some point in this process, the choir began to sing and the congregation stood.

There I was kneeling on the floor giving mouth-to-mouth during the Hallelujah Chorus.  My mind was trying to wrap itself around this surreal situation.

It did not take long for her to begin breathing on her own.  Someone had run out and called an ambulance.  I suppose the Hallelujah Chorus was planned as the finale, but the choir continued singing until the EMTs had removed her from the scene, and she was on her way to the hospital.

I later learned that she had run out of her heart medication and had not told her son.  She apparently experienced an episode of heartbeat that was sufficiently irregular that she lost consciousness.  When she did, her jaw relaxed and her dentures fell over her airway.  I have seen this same phenomenon on another occasion in a church situation and resuscitated that woman also.  But…that time, the Hallelujah Chorus was not being sung.

Pilate's Question

Jesus answered…..”I came into the world to testify to the truth.  Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” 

“What is truth?” Pilate asked.  John 18:37-38

 What is truth?  Today while I was out walking, I was thinking about how relevant this question is 2000 years after Pilate asked it.  How does one tease the grain of truth out of the heap of lies with which we are confronted?  A confusing mix of fact and fiction assaults us on every possible level from international to personal.  A plethora of information is available to us and anyone can create and distribute it.  My son once told me with a smirk, “57% of statistics are made up on the spot.”

Flossing is an essential part of dental health…or….nope, we have discovered it doesn’t make a substantial difference.

Aluminum in deodorant causes cancer…oh, good grief, no it doesn’t.

Hillary’s use of an unsecured server has put our national secrets at risk and contributed to the execution of an Iranian nuclear scientist.  No…this is false.  She did nothing wrong.

Donald Trump….huh….where to begin?  He contradicts himself so often that no one can possibly tell which of his statements are true and which are false.

Someone on Facebook acts depressed and lots of “friends” immediately say, “Oh, don’t be sad.  You are a beautiful person inside and out.”  Even though it is quite possible that neither is true.

Justice Scalia was actually murdered at that ranch in Texas.  What?!  Do you believe those conspiracy theories?

Someone close to me makes a promise I know he/she won’t keep or tells me a whopper they think I will believe.

Someone explains or excuses some behavior, and I know they are lying to themselves.

What is truth?  Is it based in my reality or in someone else’s? 

Jesus was saying that He is the standard for truth.  I try to judge truth by what I read in the Bible, and I pray for discernment.  That is the only way I know of to “listen to Him.”  Sometimes, however, I do wish I could audibly hear Him.  “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’” Isaiah 30:21.  That, however, in context seems to be a promise for a future day.

So you and I are left in this confusing and imperfect world struggling each day to conduct our lives in keeping with the light we are given.

Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me.  Psalm 43:3