What's going on between my ears?

Sometimes I ponder a question that I suspect could result in insanity if I pursued it too far:  Do any of us really know each other?  I have been married to the same man for 45 years and know him better than anyone else does.  He knows me better than anyone else does.  But, do we really KNOW each other?

We all spend our waking hours thinking with some degree of control over those thoughts.  We spend our sleeping hours with our brains in a state which I do not understand and over which we don’t seem to have much control.  Even we don’t remember all of what passes through our minds while sleeping, but let’s not worry about that right now.  There is enough to be concerned about regarding what is processed during waking hours.

Someone once accused me of saying everything I think.  Oh, boy!  He was very mistaken on that notion.  My brain is endlessly busy all day long.  I think about people and their actions.  I “write” stories or fragments of them which will never appear in print.  I invent dialogues between me and someone I know or someone I create with my imagination.  I think about conversations I overhear in public and how they might fit into the context of the speaker’s life.  I remodel houses and plan sewing projects.  I talk to God all day about all sorts of things, and I pray for people as I think of them.  But, sometimes I start traveling down a dark road…what nasty thing might I be able to get away with?  I stop myself before I travel very far….no…no…I refuse to think about that.

The point is that my dear husband, who knows me better than anyone, is unaware of about 90% of what I think.  I am certainly unaware of what he is thinking about all day.  Occasionally, he will tell me something that he has obviously been pondering for weeks or months and hasn’t previously mentioned.  I am surprised…huh?  I had no idea he was thinking about that!

None of us knows what is going on in another’s mind.  Is it just white noise or are the wheels actually turning?  Am I typical, or am I an “outlier” because my gears seem to rotate non-stop at a rapid rate?  We each only know what has been sufficiently filtered that the other person feels safe sharing it.  What is being guarded behind the locked door?

For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow: it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.  Hebrews 4:12-13

Someone does know my thoughts and yours.  He knows us in a way we cannot possibly know each other.  Fortunately for us, He loves us anyway.