Big Decision-Little Decision

A teenager of my acquaintance recently declared his unwillingness to discuss with anyone what he is deciding regarding his life.  He does not want to be asked if he is planning to finish high school or get his GED or just drop out completely.  He figures it is his choice.

There are two things wrong with his thinking….

1.        He doesn’t realize it, but he has already made his decision to drop out.  He hasn’t attended school in about six weeks.  He did not make the BIG decision to drop out.  He made many LITTLE decisions that added up to the big one.  He repeatedly stayed out most of the night and decided not to get up in the morning.  No individual morning sleep-in caused him to drop out, but the combination certainly did.  He has missed sufficient school at this point, that the academic year is irretrievable.

2.       He mistakenly thinks that his decisions impact only him.  This is a pretty common misconception among teenagers and young people in their early twenties.  They do not understand that the day will come when they are really in a mess, and then they will turn to their family.  Their flippant and self-centered decisions will “cost” their family in some way….time, money, stress.  In fact, it is already costing his family as he sits around playing video games and making no tangible contribution to the household.

I do not believe I have ever made a major decision.  By the time I reached the point where I had to declare myself one way or another, I had made a series of minor decision which led me to a point of inevitability.  Education, career, marriage partner, job changes, living situations….all may seem like big choices, but it is easy to slide into any one of them based on little every day choices.  That is why we need to learn to seek guidance from Someone who sees the big picture.  As a Christian, I believe in a daily recommitment of myself to live by principles found in the Bible.

Important among these principles are the notion of honoring ones parents and loving ones neighbor as oneself.  This eliminates many poor choices.  If I keep this in mind, I will not think that my decisions only affect me.  I will avoid paths which are selfish and which will be costly or harmful to others.

How I wish there was a way to impart this wisdom!  It is painful to watch a young person in self-destruct mode.  I think back to another young person to whom I said, “I am jumping up and down and screaming at you, ‘The bridge is out!  The bridge is out!’  But you have your foot on the accelerator and are roaring past me toward the edge of the cliff.”

It has been painful and costly in multiple ways.