Did He Wait for Me?

When I learned on Tuesday that my uncle, who lived in western New York, was weakening and probably would not live much longer, I was literally on my way out the door to the Southern Tier of New York to try to help one of my daughters with a crisis she was facing.  


Since I couldn't hurry to see him on Tuesday, my dear sister-in-law Kathy got up early on Wednesday and drove  the 3-plus hours to be with him.  We didn't want him to die alone.  He has lived much too much of his life alone...seemingly by his own choice, but we still didn't want him dying alone.  


Kathy and I talked a number of times on Wednesday, as my husband and I tried to get away and head in his direction. At one point, Kathy said, she had told him that I was coming and he smiled.  He was no longer speaking.  Finally by late afternoon, we felt our daughter's situation was stable enough to leave her temporarily.


The weather was terrible...the rain was coming down heavily.  The traffic was also heavy...lots of trucks kicking up spray and reducing visibility.  My husband drove like a maniac anyway, and we did not stop for supper.  We arrived at the nursing home about 8:45 pm.  My husband dropped me at the front door, and said that he would take care of getting our belongings to the guest room.  I hurried to my uncle's room.  As I entered, the nurse had the stethoscope on his chest and was telling my sister-in-law that in spite of the fact that she could not get a blood pressure, his heart was ticking along just fine.


I touched him on the shoulder and told him I had come.  I sat down next to him and stroked his arm and his forehead.  His eyes stared out with no sign of recognition and no acknowledgement.  My sister-in-law stepped into the hall.  Later she told me, she had said to the nurse, he would be able to let go now that I had arrived.


Less than 5 minutes later, his breathing changed.  His respirations became more shallow.  A couple more minutes and he began to pause between breaths.....5 seconds, 10 seconds, and then he went 30 seconds with no breaths.  I almost called the nurse, but as I started to do so,  there was another breath.  Then I waited a full minute....nothing.  I could feel no pulse.  I called the nurse.  She listened with her stethoscope.  It was 9:09 pm.  I had been there less than 20 minutes.


Kathy,the nurse, the social worker and others all say that he waited for me.


Strange as it sounds, I think that is just what he did.