Only So Much Time

I have in a previous blog referred to my 91 year-old uncle as the most stubborn man on the planet.  This may actually be the truth. Over the past few weeks, he has been in declining health.  During a recent phone call to him, I became concerned that he wasn't eating and seemed weak.  I had no idea how bad it was, because I live over 3 hours away by car. He has no children, and I am his only niece.  He has 4 nephews, but I am closest to him, and I am not close enough.


Last week I received a call that he had been hospitalized.  He lives in a residence with all levels of care, so assisted living was available to him.  However, he continued to try to manage on his own in his independent living apartment until he could no longer make it to the kitchen at all, and eventually could not even crawl to the bathroom.  He could have arranged for help with meals and personal care long before things deteriorated to this extent.  I suppose that the frailty sneaked up on him.  Each day he probably told himself that he would feel better the next day.  And then, there is the fact that he is stubborn.


My husband and I traveled to see him.  After visiting at the hospital, we went to the apartment.  I was shocked at its condition.  He is a life-long bachelor, who has always kept his living quarters neat and clean.  I am not going to describe everything I found, but I spent hours washing dirty clothing and bed linens, cleaning the kitchen, and removing spoiled food from the refrigerator.  I did not have time on this trip to tend to the stacks of mail and newspapers.


In the car on the way home, I reflected on the fact that he is 25 years to the month older than I am.  What will I be like in 25 years?  Will I still be here in 25 years?  Will I be able to care for myself?  For my home?  When one is young, 25 years seems like a long time.  Now...hmmm....not so much. 


I picked up my knitting and began knitting furiously while my husband drove.  He said, "I'm surprised you are knitting.  You seemed so tired."


I replied, "I've got to get busy and be productive.  I may only have 25 years left!"