Arrogant Assumption Regarding Agony

I have been slow to pick up on this, but apparently a well-known televangelist has indicated that the earthquake in Haiti is somehow punishment for a deal made with the devil long ago.
Oh, my.
One of the most difficult things for a Christian to explain is the existence of pain and suffering in the world. Comments like his can only muddy the waters and create hurt on top of hurt.
I have done some reading and thinking on the topic of pain and suffering. I especially like "The Problem of Pain" by C. S. Lewis.
Christ Himself makes it clear that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. (See Matthew 5:45) We cannot assume that because something bad happens to a person or group that it is punishment. Nor can we assume (as preachers of the prosperity gospel do) that wealth and health are rewards.
The truth is that anyone who tries to make such correlations is arrogant and putting himself in the place of God. God alone knows the reasons for tragedies and blessings. No human being knows His mind or His purposes.
Consider Job....he was blameless and yet suffered greatly. He had no idea why. His friends were accusatory. His wife told him to curse God and die. He clung to his faith in the face of unbelievable adversity, and it turns out that is exactly what God expected of him.
There may be people in Haiti who made a pact with the devil and are suffering today. But there are also children of God who are suffering. They are crying out and clinging to their faith in a sovereign God. May He in His mercy sustain them.
May He also shut the mouths of those who arrogantly assume they can attach a reason to this agony.

Weighing in on Nature vs Nuture

I came of age intellectually during the era when the prevailing wisdom was that nurture trumped nature in determining a child's developmental outcome.

If you believed some of the writings of the 60s and 70s, there were formulas for parenting. All you had to do was A, B and C, and out the other end would pop a morally sound, self-actualized human being whom you had properly parented.

I bought into this to some degree, not only because it was the prevailing theory, but also, because as a person of faith, I believe in the ability of God to heal in every sense of the word. This includes my belief that He can help a person to overcome genetic traits and personality flaws that are less than desirable. We may struggle with these throughout our life-time, but His grace is sufficient.

Before my husband and I ever had children, we discussed the fact that they did not come with a life-time guarantee and a Good-Housekeeping Seal of Approval. We acknowledged our dependence on God to shape and mold our children, and to give us the necessary strength and wisdom to accomplish the task of parenting.

We have four children: two biological, two adopted, three girls, one boy, one adopted as an infant, one not until the age of eleven. They represent a wide range of challenges and strengths.

I now believe that nurture can only influence within the parameters set by nature. Getting outside of those parameters requires Divine intervention for which the person himself/herself must be open.

I further believe in a sort of "no-fault" parenting. If I don't try to take too much credit for positive outcomes, maybe I don't have to take too much blame for negative outcomes.

And...most importantly...I am still a person of faith. I prayed every day for the wisdom to make correct decisions regarding my children, and the strength to carry out those decisions. I know I didn't do everything perfectly, but having exercised faith on a daily basis means that I cannot now beat myself up over results.

My children as they have become adults, must accept responsibility for their own lives. Each of us must answer to God individually. When we stand before Him, we are not going to get away with blaming our parents or our church or our teachers or our friends for what we have done and failed to do.

And so....I still pray for each of my children and my grandchildren to be responsive to God's voice and sensitive to His leading. The grace of God trumps both nurture and nature.

Lost Child

I know the feeling. The heaviness in the middle of the chest, the emptiness in the pit of the stomach, the swirling confusion in the head that accompanies the realization that you have no idea where your child is, or whether or not she is safe.

I experienced it the day my daughter did not arrive at school. Someone saw her get in a car with a guy at the bus stop. When we called the police, and they found out she was over 16, they said, "Well, then, we have to assume she is where she wants to be."

My husband spent the day driving around looking for the car that was described to us by friends at the bus stop.

A repeat of the feeling occurred the night we discovered her bed empty and her footprints leaving the house in the new-fallen snow.

Then there was the time we knew she was somewhere in town with someone, because she was going to school, but she wasn't coming home at night.

Later still, there was a time she called us from North Carolina.

"What are you doing in North Carolina?"

"I came down here with Chuck," she replied.

"Chuck who?"
She called out, "Chuck, what's your last name?"

I thought I might pass out that time. She was pregnant and we didn't know who the father of the baby was, but it wasn't Chuck.

Now the child she was carrying during that incident has disappeared herself. No one has seen her or heard from her in a week. She isn't answering her cell phone, and no calls have been made on it since December 30th. She hasn't been to school yet since Christmas break is over. She is 18 years old, cute as a button and very, very foolish.

I wouldn't wish the feeling a mother has in this situation on anyone....not even on the daughter who did it to me, and is now experiencing it herself.

Forgetfulness

Twice in the past 3 days, I have found a burner on the stove with nothing on it. Each time my dear husband has recently made himself a cup of tea, apparently removing the tea kettle from the hot burner, but forgetting to turn it off. The second time this occurred, I said, "Sometimes I worry about you!"

"And with good reason," he responded with a wry grin.

This morning I went upstairs for the express purpose of getting a coffee mug I remembered that I had left in the bathroom. Once upstairs, I used the bathroom and came back down without the mug. My husband was sitting in the front hall putting on his boots when I came through sputtering about my forgetfulness.

"Wouldn't it be awful if one of us grew old and the other didn't?" he asked.

Hmmm....that's true, but it is going to be pretty grim if we both get exceedingly forgetful.

I had a great-aunt and uncle who managed to function after he lost his physical strength, because she was still strong. She, however, lost her marbles, and he supplied the brain power for the duo. It was an arrangement that allowed them to manage in their own home right up until the end....they died within 24 hours of each other.

What happens when both members of the partnership become senile?

Sure hope we don't find out....or more accurately that our children don't find out. If we both lose it, we may not even realize it...or maybe we will each think the other one is loony.

So much to look forward to!

Christmas Cookies Sermon #3

This morning I was visiting with a daughter elsewhere in NYS, so I left my Christmas Cookie Sermon for a friend to do.

I made sugar cookie cutouts shaped like stars and suggested the verses Philippians 3:14-15 Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe..."

I asked her to share the importance of each of us letting our lights shine to point others to Christ. I also left a CD of Larnelle Harris...I Want to Be a Star. The lyrics include...I want to be a star, hung somewhere in the silent sky, like the one over Bethlehem, that brought the humble and the wise.."

Being a "star" in a world of darkness seems like a formidable task. One might ask, "Just who do you think you are anyway?" The lyrics of the song also include..."I have no glory of my own for anyone to see...it's simply a reflection of Your light that shines in me."

I am flawed...in fact, I am a sinner. But, I am saved by the grace of God, and I feel an obligation to say so.

Memories of Christmas Past

Every year at Christmastime, I reminisce about my first Christmas away from my family. I was 18 years old and in my second year of Nursing School. In those "olden days," nursing programs were based in hospitals, rather than colleges. The education was inexpensive, because the student nurse was basically the hospital's slave. We got four weeks of vacation a year, and it was not our choice when we took it. So it was that in 1963, I was hundreds of miles away from my family trying to discover Christmas on my own.

I attended a church in Oak Park regularly and sang in the church choir. Just before Christmas there was to be a Sunday evening concert by the choir. Although I often sang solos, duets and other special parts, the only one I had been scheduled to sing that night was with two other girls on the same part in one of the choir numbers. During the hour before the concert, the college and career group was meeting, and that's where I was when someone called me out of the meeting with, "Larry wants to see you."

Larry was the church pianist, and I couldn't imagine what he wanted with me. I soon learned that the program was to include a special arrangement by Larry of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear." It was to be a duet, but the alto was ill with laryngitis. Larry wanted me to sing the part, because he really wanted his arrangement to be included in the program.

I am not sure how clearly I expressed verbally what I was thinking, but it went something like, "You're crazy! I am a soprano. I have never sung alto in my entire life. The concert is about 40 minutes from beginning. How could I possibly learn the part that quickly? Plus which, it isn't just for the hundreds of people attending....it's going to be recorded. If I mess up, there will be lasting evidence!"

Larry calmly informed me that the alto had the melody in some of the piece, and he could teach me the rest. He was so confident that I could do this, that I gave in. I had some misgivings about my sanity, but I gave in.

In the next 15 to 20 minutes, he analyzed the part for me. He told me that when I had to pick out the harmony, he would emphasize my note in the chord just before my entrance. He described some of the intervals as being similar to those in other songs he knew I was familiar with. We went through it about 3 times.

And I did it.

Now listening to the recording, there is one note that makes me uncomfortable. Not because it is a clunker, but because I attacked it too vigorously.

When Christmas Day came, a group of us decided to go caroling in the halls of the hospital before work at 7 AM. One of the girls in the group knew which room was occupied by a reputed Mafia boss whose bodyguards never left his side. We decided we would sing right outside his door. When we finished, a voice boomed out of the room with a stereotypical, "Tanks, goils." We hastened into the stairwell before bursting into giggles, which I expect he heard.

I had been working with the same patients for several days, so I took Christmas cards for them with me to work that morning, only to discover I had been reassigned to the other end of the floor. Being short-staffed had caused some realignment. I was disappointed when I realized that I had been assigned to two patients who had had strokes and were comatose. I had wanted to interact and spread some Christmas cheer.

When I entered the room of these two totally unresponsive ladies, I was startled to see that a beautiful orchid had been pinned to the pillow of one of the women. Her son had come in early that morning and placed it there as a token of his love for her. For me, it was a reminder that these ladies were not just blobs of humanity, but mothers who were loved. My whole attitude was abruptly altered.

As I bathed them, changed their positions, put clean sheets on the bed and gave other care that Christmas Day, I sang carols to them. I had no idea if they could hear the songs, but if a son cared enough to leave an orchid, I needed to care enough to make an attempt at helping them know that it was Christmas....a day for joy in the midst of pain.

Now every year, I listen to that old recording of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear." Over the years, the record became scratchy, and I put the song on a tape. I guess I should now put it on a CD. I listen somewhat in awe of how well I actually did, but mostly because listening calls me back to that era of my life. It makes me remember my 18 year old self having the courage to perform a piece I didn't know well, laughing over "Tanks, goils," and having an orchid on a pillow adjust my attitude.

Being with family for Christmas is wonderful, but the real meaning is in experiencing the love, peace, joy and salvation that the Baby in the Manger entered our world to bring.

I knew that in my head before I was 18, but that year, it filled my heart.

Gleaning

In some cultures many years ago, after the owner of a field had gathered in his crop, the poor were allowed to go through his field and pick up anything that remained. The beautiful story of Ruth in the Bible explains how Ruth met Boaz, because she gleaned in his fields gathering food for herself and her mother-in-law.
I was reminded of that story this week on my way to work. Most of my usual route is through farmlands. This time of year, the corn has all been harvested and the stubs of corn stalks poke up through a coating of snow. One such field I passed had hundreds of Canadian geese gleaning the remains of the crop. A few miles later in my trip, I saw a group of about a dozen wild turkeys picking through the leftovers of another cornfield. I have also seen deer in these fields on some mornings.
It made me wonder what will happen to wildlife as the number of small family farms in our country dwindles. The birds and the beasts are the gleaners in our fields.