The Odds Are Against Me Dying Quietly in My Bed

I think the odds are against me dying quietly in my bed.


The temperature today is in the 70s and there doesn't seem to be a hint of rain.  I decided it was a good day to wash the windows....or at least as much of the windows as I can reach.  That would be all of the windows on the inside, but only some of the windows on the outside.  Many of the windows roll out in such a way that the outside surfaces can be washed from the inside.  I consider this is a good thing, because I am dependent on my husband to climb a ladder and do the outside. Given his amazing tolerance for dirty windows, that isn't likely to happen as speedily as I would wish.


The project went along well in the guest bedroom, master bedroom, bathroom and dining room.  When I got to the living room, I noted that the windows that could be cranked outward were wider than those in the other rooms.  I stood on the floor inside, reaching and stretching and deciding that I could indeed reach the farthest point on the windows.  I placed my little stool close to the wall and started at the top.


As I reached my maximum stretch, the stool shot backward on the hardwood floor and disappeared from under me.  My body shot forward into the opening which was plenty wide enough for me to fall out.  I saved myself by spreading my arms, scraping my elbows and hand in the process, but at least I didn't fall out. My glasses, however, got knocked off my face and fell out the window into the bushes below.


Without my glasses I am pretty much blind....I can barely make out the big E on the vision chart.  I was so intent on finding my glasses in the bushes that I didn't pay attention to the position of the rolled out window.  After retrieving my glasses, I stood up under the window and cracked my head.  I returned to the house muttering, "Comedy of Errors."


I finished the living room windows and decided to call it a day.  But that still leaves me with windows in the kitchen, family room, and downstairs guest room.  It also leaves me with the outside surfaces I couldn't reach.  I guess I'm not really dependent on my husband to climb the ladder.  I could do that!


I don't really want to die quietly in bed anyway.