Doing What Comes Naturally

I recently saw a Facebook disagreement over LGBTQ issues.  One of the parties put forth the argument that science proves that homosexual behavior is “normal,” because it is found in animals.

This is a false notion for multiple reasons.  Just because something is found in nature doesn’t mean it is appropriate.   Although some animals mate for life with one of the opposite sex, many animals are polygamous, but in the United States polygamy is illegal in humans.  Some animals are cannibalistic, but most human societies don’t condone that behavior.  So, although there are examples of homosexual behavior in animals, this is hardly reason for human beings to follow suit.

Even if homosexual attraction is “innate” in a human being, it does not mean those inclinations should be put into practice.  There are people who have a mental illness that causes them to habitually lie, but we don’t give them the green light to do it as they please.  We contradict their lies.  A schizophrenic is out of touch with reality, but we don’t play along with his delusions.  We try to reorient him to reality.  There are individuals who because of genetic makeup are prone to violent behavior.  We don’t tell them, “Go right ahead and maim or kill others.  You are just doing what comes naturally to you.”  Such individuals often end up in the prison system.  We are doing people with such tendencies a tremendous disservice if we try to normalize their behavior.

Whether in animals or humans, these deviations from the norm, or from what society accepts, are due to sin.  We live in a fallen world.  Much of what we see around us was not God’s intent.  His plan is that someday “the lion will lay down with the lamb.”  Violence and evil are not His choice.  Neither is homosexual conduct.  He makes it clear in both the Old and New Testaments that the plan is for one man and one woman to enter into a life-long relationship.  In both testaments, homosexual behavior is labeled as sinful and unacceptable.

HOWEVER, it is not the only sin! 

Someone once criticized me for inviting a homosexual couple to a party at my home.  The couple were neighbors, and I was inviting all neighbors.  The person who criticized me was at that point in his/her life behaving in a very promiscuous manner.  The Bible is very clear that is also SIN.  Sometimes those of us who believe in the truth of the Bible get distracted from the verse that says, “ALL have sinned.”  We come to believe that some sins are worse than others and are too quick to point the finger.  Gossip and gluttony are also condemned, and I have observed both of those among churchgoers.

I have made every attempt to treat people who are LGBTQ the same as I treat everyone.  Are they sinners?  Yes…but so are we all.  If they ask me, will I tell them such behavior is sinful.  Yes…but I will also love and support them in any way available to me without condoning the sin.  I will not buy booze for an alcoholic or a 2-pound box of chocolates for a glutton.  I will not offer a juicy tidbit to a gossip or give my leftover oxycodone to an addict.  If a schizophrenic asks me if I can see the white birds flying around his head, I will say ‘no.’  I will also speak the truth of God’s word to gay friends and family.

But, Jesus ate with sinners and called Pharisees (who were the religious leaders) “blind leaders of the blind.”  He came for the express purpose of both calling out sin and saving us from it.  What we are naturally inclined to do is often not in our best interest.  The apostle Paul talks quite a bit about the need to forsake the natural man and enter into a relationship with God through Christ becoming spiritual men.

Nature gives us interesting examples.  God gives us His Spirit to transform us.

Calling Hours

An acquaintance from a professional setting, who became a friend, passed away a few days ago.  The calling hours were today about a 40-minute drive from my home.  During the ride there and back, I was reflecting on the awkwardness that can result from trying to find the right thing to say to bereaved family…especially if you do not know them as well as you have known the deceased person.

I am sure there have been times when I have said something that was not the perfect thing to say, but I have at least attempted not to be totally insensitive.  I have, however, been on the receiving end of some really inappropriate remarks.  On one occasion, I stopped at the church where the service was to be held.  I had prepared a powerpoint presentation with pictures of the deceased family member and background music.  I took a copy on a memory stick to the church office so that it could be checked out ahead of time and ready to go for the memorial service.  The church secretary took it in to one of the pastors’ offices.  He proceeded to rant at her that he was doing something and certainly could not look at it now.  I could hear every word he said.  He should have known that I could.  I had not asked for it to be done right then….just that it be verified before the service so that it could be run smoothly.

Wow!  He did not come out of the office and express his sympathy and tell me he would do his best to see that everything was ready for the service.  He sat in his office and ranted at the secretary.  I wanted very badly to give him some unsolicited advice on how to behave toward someone who has just lost a family member. 

At my Mother’s memorial service, some wonderful things were said about her…every word of it was true.  She was a great lady and deserving of the praise.  But on the way out, one individual said to me, “Well, you’re never going to live up to that!” 

How on earth could that be construed as even remotely appropriate to say to a bereaved family member?  Maybe it is true.  Maybe I will never live up to the sweetness and goodness of my Mother.  The truth is that I don’t aspire to be like her.  We are very different people.  I need to aspire to be the best version of who I am.  In any case, insulting someone at a family member’s memorial service is a major faux pas.  I actually did not hold it against the woman.  I figured such situations are awkward and some people say the wrong thing instead of saying nothing, so I shrugged it off.  But I thought of it today, as I pondered what I could say.

The line was really long today.  I waited an hour and a half to see the family.  I tried to find something positive to say to each of them.  I hope I didn’t say anything that was in any way hurtful.  “I am sorry for your loss” seems so trite, and they must have heard it more that 100 times today, but that or just a hug or handshake is better than a thoughtless, careless remark.  Since none of them knew me, I shared with each of them how I had known the lovely lady, respected her, and valued her friendship.

Death is awkward.  It is a sure thing, but not a pleasant thing.  Death was not God’s original intent for us.  It rips a person out of the fabric of his or her family and leaves a gaping hole.  If we joke about it, it is just because we don’t want to stare it straight in the face.  But we need to remember that family who have suffered this loss have a raw wound.  We need to pour on a healing tonic…not a burning acid.

I don’t think there is much chance of the offenders mentioned here reading this, but if they do, I hope they recognize themselves and, in the future, pray for wisdom before they speak.