Thankless Tasks

I could live my life quite happily without ever folding the laundry.  I also know I would be unhappy if there were piles of clean, but unfolded laundry strewn about the house or heaped up on the bed.  I have been in homes where that is clearly what happens.

As I folded laundry today, I thought that I can understand women who avoid the task, but I also cannot understand women who avoid the task.  (I say women, because, let’s be honest….not a lot of men do laundry.)  Folding the laundry is not inspiring.  It is not creative.  No one has ever thanked me for doing it.  And, the job is never finished.  The laundry basket or hamper which is empty this afternoon will by nightfall have the day’s dirty clothes in it, and the cycle begins again.

There are a lot of thankless tasks in housekeeping.  Cleaning the bathroom isn’t fun.  Dusting isn’t fun.  Picking up toys isn’t fun, and neither is trying to teach the kids to do it themselves.  Changing the bed linens is a monotonous routine.  It may be fun to cook a lovely meal…that can be creative, and one might even get compliments…but cleaning up the resulting dishes is a downer.

So why do any of this?  I have heard it said that it is much more important to spend time with your children….that they will never remember whether or not your house is clean.  I don’t agree with this.  I think kids do remember whether or not they grew up in chaos.  Could they find a matching pair of socks?  Was the shirt they wanted to wear a wrinkled mess in the middle of the heap?  Were there so many dirty dishes stacked in the sink that they couldn’t get at the faucet for a drink of water?  Were they embarrassed because I friend came to see them and there wasn’t a chair available to sit on?  I have been in a home where something was stacked on every chair except for a folding chair at a card table.  I’m pretty sure kids remember these things, or that the disorder is even built into their personalities.

I spent a lot of time with my children.  I enjoyed playing games with them, reading to them, going for walks or bike rides, taking them to playgrounds, teaching them to bake…and…I did teach them to fold the laundry.  I don’t go around inspecting, so I suppose they may have decided it is just too much trouble, but so are lots of other things in life that are worth doing.

Somewhere there is a balance between work and play.  “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.”  I’m afraid that all play and no work make Jack a slob, and it is probably a sign of depression.

So…if you’re reading this instead of folding the laundry….

Cuke-a-Melons

The fact that the local cucumber crop is coming in has reminded me of one of my misbegotten gardening attempts.  I always started the squash, cucumbers and pumpkins in pots inside around mid-April.  Our growing season isn’t really long enough for watermelon, but one year I hoped that by starting watermelon inside too, I might get a few.

I transplanted the small vines outside around Memorial Day and was delighted to see the watermelon progressing much faster than I had even hoped.  Sometime in early August, one of the watermelon looked ripe.  I picked it and took it into the kitchen.  When I cut into it, I was surprised to find that it was not at all pink.  Inside, it was white and tasted like a cucumber.  A week or so later, I picked another watermelon.  This time I discovered that there were circular areas of pink surrounding the seeds.  It looked like a pink polka-dotted cucumber inside.  A few days later, I picked a third watermelon.  This one had wedges of pink.  Thereafter, everything I picked was totally pink, although a bit pale, but did actually taste like watermelon.

I concluded that I had planted the watermelon and cucumbers too close together, and they must have cross-pollinated.  Those that were genetically more cucumber must have ripened first, while the more “watermelony” ones ripened later.  At least that is my theory…unproven scientifically….but I like it.

And the cucumbers that year were especially sweet!

Saying a Whole Lot of Nothing

This morning I followed a link under the category of science and read an article written by an atheist about where to find God.  The writer threw around a whole lot of scientific terminology, but basically said nothing of substance.  It was not science.

I am, therefore, pondering obfuscation, which is the practice of using “big” words like obfuscation to make something difficult to understand.  This technique can be used to impress others or confuse them.  I find this quite annoying.

I know of a brilliant young man who enjoys the challenge of discussing highly complicated and technical matters in such a way that most average folks can have at least some understanding of them.  I have also encountered a young man in a graduate class I took some years ago, whose purpose was quite the opposite.  He would expound at length on some topic under discussion using big (i.e. multisyllabic) words, technical terms and currently in buzz words.  When he finished, most of the class seemed to be in awe of him.  I would be sitting there wondering, “Am I the only person here who realizes he just said absolutely nothing!”

During my working years, I attended a state-wide meeting on universal health care.  After a presentation from “an expert,” I posed a question.  She talked around in circles using all the “right” words.  When she finished, I said quietly to those sitting at my table, “Did she ever answer my question?”  All of the heads shook “no.”  A few minutes later, a rabbi from New York City got up and asked the same question.  She again talked and talked and said nothing of substance.  I wondered how many people in the room actually fell for this.

When you don’t understand what someone is talking about, it is, of course, possible that they are smarter than you, or that you are not familiar with the terminology they are using.  BUT, it is also possible that they don’t know what they are talking about and have just learned the right words to throw out there, or that they are purposely attempting to confuse you because they have an agenda.  A really intelligent person, who cares about his topic, will want you to understand and will make every attempt to communicate on the level of the audience.

Of course, one must have some sympathy for the person who really doesn’t know how to communicate and doesn’t even know he is not connecting with his audience.  I am talking about the brilliant person who lives in his own world.  I had a college professor whose initials were FOG and that is what most of his lectures were…fog.  He didn’t mean to leave us wandering in a cloud of confusion.  I can feel kindly toward him.

But in general, be suspicious of the person who obfuscates!

When I don't know how to pray....

Praying is something I do regularly and frequently.  I am not talking about a formal time when I sit down with prayer requests and check them off like items on a list.  I am talking about the way I live life.  As the day goes along, and I am faced with decisions, I silently ask for God’s guidance.  As people with needs come to my mind, I try to discipline myself to turn my thoughts of them into prayer for them.  All of that comes easily to me since I have been practicing it for decades.

But there are prayers that do not come easily.  Agonizing thoughts that come from the depths of my soul.  Friends or family may be in the throes of disease or difficulty…especially when the difficulty is of their own making, resulting from their own bad choices.  Then I simply don’t know what to say to God.  I don’t know what to ask for.  I may plead a generic, “Oh, help them!” but that doesn’t seem adequate.  I recognize that I do not possess the wisdom to ask for something specific.  I don’t have His mind.  Don’t know His plan.  Certainly, I can pray “thy will be done.”  But, that may not ease the painful struggle in my mind and heart.

When I find myself in that state, I have learned to repeat over and over, “Thank you for the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 8:26 The Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.

I have found that by repeating my gratefulness for the Holy Spirit, the turmoil within me subsides.  I rest in the knowledge that the Holy Spirit knows God’s will, because he is one with God, and yet knows my intents and can express them when all I can do is cry out.

I am sharing this, because I have recently talked to other believers who find themselves having no idea how to pray for someone they love.  If you find yourself in that situation, I encourage you to just start expressing thankfulness that we have been given the Holy Spirit as a comforter and intercessor.