A lot has been said recently about “Nasty Women,” and there
seem to be many women proud of being labeled with that term.
I really hate it when the meaning of a perfectly good word
is hijacked and made to mean something else!
I wish women would fight against being labeled with “nasty” rather than
accepting it as a badge of honor.
A couple of years ago, it became popular to quote Sheryl
Sandberg who had expressed the idea that the same characteristic which in boys
is called leadership is called bossiness in girls. I like the idea of refusing to be labeled
bossy, just because one is assertive and full of ideas.
One of my granddaughters once called me and asked me what it
means to be Type-A. Her mother had told
her that she and I were both Type-A people.
I said, “Well, some people might accuse us of being bossy.” I heard her giggle, so I’m sure that has
happened to her. “But,” I continued, “I
think it means we are people with lots of ideas who are willing to work hard to
make our ideas come about.”
Yes….I admit to being Type A, and I am sure that as a child
I was accused of being bossy. As an
adult, I have been accused of being assertive, too quick to give my ideas,
opinionated, etc. I will admit to all of
that, but I refuse to call myself “nasty.”
There need to be some people like us in the world, and some of them are
bound to be female. I recognize this is
sometimes uncomfortable for males, but I think they need to get used to it.
I am a nurse, and if we are not by nature assertive, we need
to learn to be. If you are a nurse, you
do not stand back and wait for someone else to act when you see someone in
distress. I was once in an auditorium
with hundreds of people when a woman stood up and shouted, “Somebody do
something.” An elderly woman sitting near
her had stopped breathing. I did not
wait for anyone else to respond. I dove
over several people in the row, dropped her dentures in the lap of the nearest
person and resuscitated her.
On another occasion in an auditorium, a friend tapped me on
the shoulder and said that something was wrong with his elderly mother. It was a similar scenario. Interesting to me was the fact that this same
man later made accusations against me regarding my tendency to express
opinions too quickly. Well, you know, you can’t have
it both ways. You can’t expect me to
jump in and save your mother’s life in one setting and then sit mutely and let
the men have their say first in another. I refuse to believe that makes me “nasty.”
I realize there are women in the world who think it is their
role to always defer to men. I am not
one of them. I am fortunate to have a
husband who enjoys the challenge of being married to me. This was, of course, no accident. I had some specific criteria for a husband
and would have stayed single if I hadn’t met someone who met the criteria. I was looking for someone strong enough to
meet me as an equal. Being able to
steamroll my husband and always get my way would have been no fun at all. Being married to someone who thought he was
supposed to constantly dominate me and get his way would have been a blood
bath. It is much more interesting to be
able to discuss and debate and compromise.
I recognize that as a follower of Christ, I have an
obligation to be gracious in what I say and the way I say it. That has always been a challenge for me. My mind works rapidly in assessing and coming
up with solutions. It is hard for me to
watch a group stumble bumble around when the answer is so obvious to me. I have always wished people would take
advantage of me rather than feeling threatened by me.
Now about the word “bitch” which has also been hijacked to
mean pretty much the same as “nasty woman.”
That is a perfectly good word for a female dog.
Let’s stop the name calling and appreciate people for their
abilities.
