Ajax is another miserable fellow...not quite as miserable as Oedipus, but certainly ill-fated.
The goddess Athena is rooting for Odysseus and against Ajax, so she causes Ajax to think that a herd of cattle are enemy soldiers. He proceeds to slaughter some and take others back to his tent to be tortured to death. All the while, he is thinking he will gain favor with his allies, because of his dominance over the enemy. Instead, everyone thinks he has lost his mind.
His wife Tecmessa has apparently developed affection for and loyalty to him, even though she was originally spoils of a previous battle. They have a son together (Eurysaces), and she is, of course, concerned for his well-being and future. When Ajax eventually comes to his senses, she is doubly grieved. She explains that while he was living in a fantasy, at least he was happy, and only those who cared for him were sad. Now that he realizes what he has done, he himself is grieved, and his friends are still grieved, so matters are worse than before.
Ajax decides that he must kill himself. 'Tis base for a man to crave the full term of life, who finds no varying in his woes. What joy is there in day following day--now pushing us forward, now drawing us back, on the verge--of death?...One of the generous strain should nobly live, or forthwith nobly die...
Tecmessa pleads for her own sake and that of their son, that he not commit suicide. Since he has ravaged her country, and her mother and father are dead, her welfare hangs on him. ...have thought for me also: a true man should cherish remembrance, if anywhere he reap a joy.... But whosoever suffers the memory of benefits, to slip from him, that man can no more rank as noble.
Eventually Ajax does kill himself. An argument occurs regarding whether or not his corpse should be buried. If you have read Antigone, that should sound familiar.
Interestingly, his enemy Odysseus intervenes and declares that he should be buried. To me also this man was once the worst foe in the army...yet, for all that he was such toward me, never would I requite him with indignity....When a brave man is dead, 'tis not right to do him scathe--no, not even if thou hate him....His worth weighs with me far more than his enmity.
Interesting themes:
Tecmessa makes the point that suicide is a selfish act. It is an easy out for the person who commits it. It leaves his family and friends behind to grieve. Is that "noble?"
Odysseus' feelings of hatred do not extend beyond the grave. He takes the measure of the man's life. Ajax was a worthy adversary, and so he is willing to honor him in death.
The chorus has the final word: Many things shall mortals learn by seeing; but, before he sees, no man may read the future or his fate.
We human beings are stuck in one dimensional, one direction time. The future is hidden. Sometimes we think we would like to see it. It's probably best that we don't.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Leading the Blind
Yesterday I made a quick stop downtown to talk with someone whom I thought could give me insight into a project I need to work on. As I hurried down the sidewalk, I came up behind and walked around a man with a white cane who seemed to be pausing. I don't know how he knew I was there, but he called out to me, "Can you tell me where the Arcade is?"
I stopped and said, "You are right in front of it." Actually, he was just a few steps beyond the open entryway. So, I added, "Turn around and walk about 4 steps in the opposite direction. Now turn to your left. The door is straight ahead of you, but there is a sign on the ground you will have to walk around."
I waited for him to navigate around the knee-high tent sign which was definitely a hazard for a blind man. "OK, you are at the opening."
He put a hand on the open door frame and turned to thank me. "I used to be able to find the entrance, because there was an awning over it. I could tell the difference when I walked under the awning, but they have taken it down, and now I don't know where the doorway is."
I cannot imagine what it would be like to be blind. The idea of attempting to navigate the world without sight is terrifying to me. Obviously other senses become keener to compensate, but even so, the world is full of hazards and changes from day to day. Just when you think you have it figured out, someone takes down the awning!
An awful lot of people in the world are figuratively blind and losing their way. They can't find the door, because someone has taken down the awning. Something that should be there for protection, but that also provides guidance, is missing. I don't know if the awning on the Arcade will be put up again, but typically figurative awnings once removed are not replaced. So, we live in a world with fewer and fewer awnings, resulting in greater and greater moral confusion.
I stopped and said, "You are right in front of it." Actually, he was just a few steps beyond the open entryway. So, I added, "Turn around and walk about 4 steps in the opposite direction. Now turn to your left. The door is straight ahead of you, but there is a sign on the ground you will have to walk around."
I waited for him to navigate around the knee-high tent sign which was definitely a hazard for a blind man. "OK, you are at the opening."
He put a hand on the open door frame and turned to thank me. "I used to be able to find the entrance, because there was an awning over it. I could tell the difference when I walked under the awning, but they have taken it down, and now I don't know where the doorway is."
I cannot imagine what it would be like to be blind. The idea of attempting to navigate the world without sight is terrifying to me. Obviously other senses become keener to compensate, but even so, the world is full of hazards and changes from day to day. Just when you think you have it figured out, someone takes down the awning!
An awful lot of people in the world are figuratively blind and losing their way. They can't find the door, because someone has taken down the awning. Something that should be there for protection, but that also provides guidance, is missing. I don't know if the awning on the Arcade will be put up again, but typically figurative awnings once removed are not replaced. So, we live in a world with fewer and fewer awnings, resulting in greater and greater moral confusion.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Only So Much Time
I have in a previous blog referred to my 91 year-old uncle as the most stubborn man on the planet. This may actually be the truth. Over the past few weeks, he has been in declining health. During a recent phone call to him, I became concerned that he wasn't eating and seemed weak. I had no idea how bad it was, because I live over 3 hours away by car. He has no children, and I am his only niece. He has 4 nephews, but I am closest to him, and I am not close enough.
Last week I received a call that he had been hospitalized. He lives in a residence with all levels of care, so assisted living was available to him. However, he continued to try to manage on his own in his independent living apartment until he could no longer make it to the kitchen at all, and eventually could not even crawl to the bathroom. He could have arranged for help with meals and personal care long before things deteriorated to this extent. I suppose that the frailty sneaked up on him. Each day he probably told himself that he would feel better the next day. And then, there is the fact that he is stubborn.
My husband and I traveled to see him. After visiting at the hospital, we went to the apartment. I was shocked at its condition. He is a life-long bachelor, who has always kept his living quarters neat and clean. I am not going to describe everything I found, but I spent hours washing dirty clothing and bed linens, cleaning the kitchen, and removing spoiled food from the refrigerator. I did not have time on this trip to tend to the stacks of mail and newspapers.
In the car on the way home, I reflected on the fact that he is 25 years to the month older than I am. What will I be like in 25 years? Will I still be here in 25 years? Will I be able to care for myself? For my home? When one is young, 25 years seems like a long time. Now...hmmm....not so much.
I picked up my knitting and began knitting furiously while my husband drove. He said, "I'm surprised you are knitting. You seemed so tired."
I replied, "I've got to get busy and be productive. I may only have 25 years left!"
Last week I received a call that he had been hospitalized. He lives in a residence with all levels of care, so assisted living was available to him. However, he continued to try to manage on his own in his independent living apartment until he could no longer make it to the kitchen at all, and eventually could not even crawl to the bathroom. He could have arranged for help with meals and personal care long before things deteriorated to this extent. I suppose that the frailty sneaked up on him. Each day he probably told himself that he would feel better the next day. And then, there is the fact that he is stubborn.
My husband and I traveled to see him. After visiting at the hospital, we went to the apartment. I was shocked at its condition. He is a life-long bachelor, who has always kept his living quarters neat and clean. I am not going to describe everything I found, but I spent hours washing dirty clothing and bed linens, cleaning the kitchen, and removing spoiled food from the refrigerator. I did not have time on this trip to tend to the stacks of mail and newspapers.
In the car on the way home, I reflected on the fact that he is 25 years to the month older than I am. What will I be like in 25 years? Will I still be here in 25 years? Will I be able to care for myself? For my home? When one is young, 25 years seems like a long time. Now...hmmm....not so much.
I picked up my knitting and began knitting furiously while my husband drove. He said, "I'm surprised you are knitting. You seemed so tired."
I replied, "I've got to get busy and be productive. I may only have 25 years left!"
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Strange Ideas
Wow! I ran into another one! Where do people get these strange ideas that they are so certain are factual.
Today I was at another farmers’ market with information on free mammograms. An elderly man approached me and wanted to know why I was offering free mammograms. His initial question didn’t raise any suspicions with me, because I often talk to people who are just curious. I responded that women without insurance often need help in paying for a mammogram. I was about to point out that we also offer colorectal testing for men, but he interrupted me.
He asked me why I thought women “needed” mammograms. Ah, yes…his tone made my antennae begin to tingle. I replied, “Oh, you want to argue with me, don’t you? I do not want to argue.”
He then launched into a lengthy monologue on the supposed evils of mammograms. He stated that only human mammals get breast cancer, because only humans get mammograms. In other words, he was saying that mammograms cause breast cancer. There was no opportunity for me to interject anything factual, because he continued by describing a TV program he had seen. He claimed to be well informed on the subject, and said that the radiation in an MRI is equivalent to being exposed to a nuclear explosion. Oh, my.
When he finally paused and came up for air, I tried to preface some facts by lending myself some credibility. I told him that I was an RN, had a degree in chemistry and had a Master’s degree, and….
Before I could go further, he told me to take my diplomas and wipe my A** with them. Nice guy.
I said, “Good-bye” and turned to face a different direction.
So….just in case you care:
*other mammals, including dogs and cats, do get breast cancer. In fact, the rate in dogs is three times that in humans.
*men can get breast cancer, and they don’t get mammograms.
*a woman who has never had a mammogram and doesn’t do self-breast exams, typically finds the lump when it is the size of a golf ball. It can already be cancerous when she discovers it, prior to a mammogram.
*mammograms are NOT the same thing as MRIs. The lowest possible amount of radiation is used to visualize the breast during a mammogram.
*even an MRI doesn’t expose you to as much radiation as a nuclear blast…..well, I suppose it might if you are talking about a nuclear blast that is on the opposite side of the planet. You would have to have some specifics as to your distance from the epicenter before you started throwing “facts” like that around. (Actually an MRI doesn't expose you to any radiation. It doesn't use x-rays to create the image.)
Sometimes it is hard to know whether to laugh or cry. On the bright side, about a dozen people thanked me today for what I was doing, and shortly after the nasty encounter, a cute little boy with hair sticking up in every direction grinned at me and waved as he passed by.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Inexplicable
In my "retirement," I work part-time for an agency which offers free mammograms to women who are uninsured. Attempting to locate women who could benefit from this service, I am in the process of trying to attend every farmers' market in the county.
Today I set up at the end of a row of booths displaying all manner of fruits, veggies, flowers and baked goods. It was hot and sunny, so I went to the trouble of putting up a tent. I set up my table covered with literature under the tent. I hung a poster from the tent frame which said in bold and bright letters "FREE MAMMOGRAMS for uninsured women."
I talked with many people. Some glanced at the sign and avoided me. But, one woman came right up to me with the intent of picking a fight. I know this because she did have insurance, did NOT want a mammogram, and had to have seen the sign from the direction in which she approached.
She informed me that there was no reason for women to get mammograms. If we put the right things into our bodies, our bodies will take care of themselves and we won't get cancer. She said that cancer was caused by "negative thinking."
I countered that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, and it is not prevented by positive thinking.
She repeated the bit about putting the right things into our bodies and added that she knew this for sure because she has a PhD in this. I wondered what she meant by "this," so I asked what the PhD was in. She replied, "Natural Health."
I bit my tongue. Several things came to mind which would have heated up the interchange. I managed to restrain myself from anything other than a shrug. (I try harder to behave myself when I am representing an agency.)
There were a few additional comments back and forth. She said people should "go when their time comes." I said it makes a difference whether that time comes when one is in their 80s or 50s. It was obvious that I wasn't going to convince her of anything, and that she just wanted to argue.
Eventually, she turned to walk away and shot back over her shoulder, "Anyway, I've been a smoker for 40 years, so if I die of cancer, it will be f.....ing lung cancer."
I know why she delivered this as a parting shot. She did not want me to point out the total incongruity of believing that "if you put the right things into your body, it will take care of itself" and then smoking!
Arrrrggghhh! Inexplicable!
But, she is probably angry with herself about this habit, so she is looking for other directions in which to place that anger. So there I stood today: smiling, dispensing information, giving out key chains with the agency's phone number AND conveniently in the line of fire.
Today I set up at the end of a row of booths displaying all manner of fruits, veggies, flowers and baked goods. It was hot and sunny, so I went to the trouble of putting up a tent. I set up my table covered with literature under the tent. I hung a poster from the tent frame which said in bold and bright letters "FREE MAMMOGRAMS for uninsured women."
I talked with many people. Some glanced at the sign and avoided me. But, one woman came right up to me with the intent of picking a fight. I know this because she did have insurance, did NOT want a mammogram, and had to have seen the sign from the direction in which she approached.
She informed me that there was no reason for women to get mammograms. If we put the right things into our bodies, our bodies will take care of themselves and we won't get cancer. She said that cancer was caused by "negative thinking."
I countered that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, and it is not prevented by positive thinking.
She repeated the bit about putting the right things into our bodies and added that she knew this for sure because she has a PhD in this. I wondered what she meant by "this," so I asked what the PhD was in. She replied, "Natural Health."
I bit my tongue. Several things came to mind which would have heated up the interchange. I managed to restrain myself from anything other than a shrug. (I try harder to behave myself when I am representing an agency.)
There were a few additional comments back and forth. She said people should "go when their time comes." I said it makes a difference whether that time comes when one is in their 80s or 50s. It was obvious that I wasn't going to convince her of anything, and that she just wanted to argue.
Eventually, she turned to walk away and shot back over her shoulder, "Anyway, I've been a smoker for 40 years, so if I die of cancer, it will be f.....ing lung cancer."
I know why she delivered this as a parting shot. She did not want me to point out the total incongruity of believing that "if you put the right things into your body, it will take care of itself" and then smoking!
Arrrrggghhh! Inexplicable!
But, she is probably angry with herself about this habit, so she is looking for other directions in which to place that anger. So there I stood today: smiling, dispensing information, giving out key chains with the agency's phone number AND conveniently in the line of fire.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Antigone by Sophocles
Back to the Great Books...
Antigone and Ismene, the daughters of the ill-fated Oedipus and his wife/mother, have just seen their brothers Polyneices and Eteocles kill one another. Creon, who is brother to their deceased mother and now King of Thebes, has declared that Eteocles died defending Thebes and will be buried with honor, but Polyneices was a traitor whose body must be left for the dogs and birds. Creon has issued a decree that anyone who attempts to bury Polyneices will be killed.
Antigone and Ismene disagree on an appropriate course of action. Antigone is a spunky lady with a strong sense of what is right. Ismene counsels her: ...we were born women, as who should not strive with men....we must obey in all things, and in things yet sorer. Antigone is not swayed by Ismene and determines that she will bury Polyneices herself no matter what the consequences.
King Creon is a pompous fellow who can't believe anyone would willfully disobey his decree, but he orders guards to make sure that Polyneices' body is left unburied. He is convinced that people will do pretty much anything for the right amount of money, and that someone might pay to have Polyneices buried. Nothing so evil as money ever grew to be current among men.
A guard arrives in fear for his life, because he must tell Creon that an attempt to cover the body has been made. Creon is accusatory with the guard and demands that the offender be found and brought to him.
The action is paused while the chorus philosophies about man and his skill, cleverness and yet helplessness in the face of death.
Shortly the guard returns with Antigone who has been caught spreading dust on the body. She does not deny her actions. Creon is incredulous that she would defy him. He tells her that all of Thebes agrees with him and does not share her view. She retorts that: All here would own that they thought it well, were not their lips sealed by fear. ....they curb their tongues for thee.
Someone has seen Antigone and Ismene talking and the assumption is made that Ismene agrees with Antigone's actions and must die too. Although she did not agree, Ismene is willing to stand with her sister and die. Antigone rejects this and says that Ismene can serve her best by living. Ismene pleads with Creon for Antigone's life. She points out that Antigone is engaged to Creon's son Haemon. But, Creon does not want an "evil wife" for his son.
Haemon arrives and speaks to Creon. Initially he seems totally submissive to the will of his father as King of Thebes. However, he works around to telling his father that rigidly adhering to a course of action against wise counsel from others is folly.. ...though a man be wise, 'tis no shame for him to learn many things, and to bend in season...forego thy wrath; permit thyself to change. They argue, and Haemon leaves. Creon refuses to change his mind and orders Antigone to be brought for death, specifically he declares that she is to be entombed alive in a rock vault.
The blind prophet Teiresias enters the scene and sways Creon. After some bickering Creon does relent. Ah, me, 'tis hard, but I resign my cherished resolve--I obey. We must not wage a vain war with destiny. He declares that he will go himself to release Antigone.
Unfortunately, destiny has already come crashing down on Creon. Antigone has hanged herself in the vault where she has been entombed. Haemon, in grief, has stabbed himself and died by her side. Creon's wife Eurydice, hearing of the death of her son, has also killed herself.
Creon departs with: lead me away..a rash foolish man...all is amiss with that which is in my hands.
The final chorus: Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness and reverence to the gods must be inviolate. Great words of prideful men are ever punished with great blows, and, in old age, teach the chastened to be wise.
Or...
As the Bible puts it...the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; a good understanding have all they that do his commandments. Psalm 111:10
Sophocles and the Bible should be required reading for politicians! I fear that "all is amiss" in the hands of those currently running our government.
Antigone and Ismene, the daughters of the ill-fated Oedipus and his wife/mother, have just seen their brothers Polyneices and Eteocles kill one another. Creon, who is brother to their deceased mother and now King of Thebes, has declared that Eteocles died defending Thebes and will be buried with honor, but Polyneices was a traitor whose body must be left for the dogs and birds. Creon has issued a decree that anyone who attempts to bury Polyneices will be killed.
Antigone and Ismene disagree on an appropriate course of action. Antigone is a spunky lady with a strong sense of what is right. Ismene counsels her: ...we were born women, as who should not strive with men....we must obey in all things, and in things yet sorer. Antigone is not swayed by Ismene and determines that she will bury Polyneices herself no matter what the consequences.
King Creon is a pompous fellow who can't believe anyone would willfully disobey his decree, but he orders guards to make sure that Polyneices' body is left unburied. He is convinced that people will do pretty much anything for the right amount of money, and that someone might pay to have Polyneices buried. Nothing so evil as money ever grew to be current among men.
A guard arrives in fear for his life, because he must tell Creon that an attempt to cover the body has been made. Creon is accusatory with the guard and demands that the offender be found and brought to him.
The action is paused while the chorus philosophies about man and his skill, cleverness and yet helplessness in the face of death.
Shortly the guard returns with Antigone who has been caught spreading dust on the body. She does not deny her actions. Creon is incredulous that she would defy him. He tells her that all of Thebes agrees with him and does not share her view. She retorts that: All here would own that they thought it well, were not their lips sealed by fear. ....they curb their tongues for thee.
Someone has seen Antigone and Ismene talking and the assumption is made that Ismene agrees with Antigone's actions and must die too. Although she did not agree, Ismene is willing to stand with her sister and die. Antigone rejects this and says that Ismene can serve her best by living. Ismene pleads with Creon for Antigone's life. She points out that Antigone is engaged to Creon's son Haemon. But, Creon does not want an "evil wife" for his son.
Haemon arrives and speaks to Creon. Initially he seems totally submissive to the will of his father as King of Thebes. However, he works around to telling his father that rigidly adhering to a course of action against wise counsel from others is folly.. ...though a man be wise, 'tis no shame for him to learn many things, and to bend in season...forego thy wrath; permit thyself to change. They argue, and Haemon leaves. Creon refuses to change his mind and orders Antigone to be brought for death, specifically he declares that she is to be entombed alive in a rock vault.
The blind prophet Teiresias enters the scene and sways Creon. After some bickering Creon does relent. Ah, me, 'tis hard, but I resign my cherished resolve--I obey. We must not wage a vain war with destiny. He declares that he will go himself to release Antigone.
Unfortunately, destiny has already come crashing down on Creon. Antigone has hanged herself in the vault where she has been entombed. Haemon, in grief, has stabbed himself and died by her side. Creon's wife Eurydice, hearing of the death of her son, has also killed herself.
Creon departs with: lead me away..a rash foolish man...all is amiss with that which is in my hands.
The final chorus: Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness and reverence to the gods must be inviolate. Great words of prideful men are ever punished with great blows, and, in old age, teach the chastened to be wise.
Or...
As the Bible puts it...the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; a good understanding have all they that do his commandments. Psalm 111:10
Sophocles and the Bible should be required reading for politicians! I fear that "all is amiss" in the hands of those currently running our government.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Sequel to My Last Blog
Over the past few days at the county fair, I repeatedly noticed a woman who passed my booth. She was poorly dressed and from her responses to my greetings, I guessed she wasn't very bright. She was pleasant, but not articulate. I assumed she was doing janitorial work at the fair, because she always seemed to be dragging a bag of what I supposed to be trash. In retrospect, I realize that she was not wearing a tee-shirt with a logo indicating that she was employed either by the fair or the arena in which the exhibits are located, but I hadn't given it that much thought previously.
Today I met her in the ladies' room. She was soaking her ball cap in cold water before putting it back on her head. She commented on how hot she was. Since the exhibit hall is air-conditioned, I said, "Oh, have you been spending a lot of time outside?"
"Yes," she replied. "I have found $90 worth of cans the last couple days."
Ah...what I assumed to be trash was a bag of cans. For those of you reading this who do not live in states that recycle cans; in New York state we are charged a 5-cent deposit on most bottled and canned beverages. We get the 5 cents back when we return the can or bottle to a recycling center. Many people take advantage of this. Others just throw their cans in the trash. At the fair, the likelihood is that people are not going to bother to carry their empty soda can home with them. They are going to pitch it in the trash. So, this lady was out pawing through trash in the heat of the fairgrounds looking for cans at 5 cents a piece. $90 worth of cans comes out to 1800 cans she had retrieved.
She added, "I've got to keep going. We just had to pay $100 for tires, because someone slashed our tires."
A bit later, I finished a Pepsi. I noticed her sitting down and resting a short distance away. I walked over and handed her my empty can. "One less she has to dig through the trash for," I thought.
I wondered if I should give her some cash. For me the $10 she still needs to pay for the tires is nothing. For her, it is 200 more cans. It is also, however, the dignity of knowing she has earned that money through hard work. She is not out on a street corner begging. She is sorting through our trash.
Today I met her in the ladies' room. She was soaking her ball cap in cold water before putting it back on her head. She commented on how hot she was. Since the exhibit hall is air-conditioned, I said, "Oh, have you been spending a lot of time outside?"
"Yes," she replied. "I have found $90 worth of cans the last couple days."
Ah...what I assumed to be trash was a bag of cans. For those of you reading this who do not live in states that recycle cans; in New York state we are charged a 5-cent deposit on most bottled and canned beverages. We get the 5 cents back when we return the can or bottle to a recycling center. Many people take advantage of this. Others just throw their cans in the trash. At the fair, the likelihood is that people are not going to bother to carry their empty soda can home with them. They are going to pitch it in the trash. So, this lady was out pawing through trash in the heat of the fairgrounds looking for cans at 5 cents a piece. $90 worth of cans comes out to 1800 cans she had retrieved.
She added, "I've got to keep going. We just had to pay $100 for tires, because someone slashed our tires."
A bit later, I finished a Pepsi. I noticed her sitting down and resting a short distance away. I walked over and handed her my empty can. "One less she has to dig through the trash for," I thought.
I wondered if I should give her some cash. For me the $10 she still needs to pay for the tires is nothing. For her, it is 200 more cans. It is also, however, the dignity of knowing she has earned that money through hard work. She is not out on a street corner begging. She is sorting through our trash.
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