Protecting our Daughters

As parents, we have an obligation to protect our daughters from situations where unscrupulous males could prey upon them.  It isn’t just some creepy guy hanging out on the street corner who is a threat.  The creep may be a professional.

One of my daughters had lots of difficulties during her teenage years.  Our pediatrician recommended trying a psychologist who was new in town.  He told me the man had an extensive and lucrative practice in New York City, but that his wife was originally from Watertown and wanted to return to her roots.  They decided to maintain homes in both places.  She would live in the north country, and he would go back and forth working a day or two a week locally and the rest in New York City.  The pediatrician admitted that he didn’t really know anything about the psychologist, but his wife was a lovely person.

I was not going to send my vulnerable daughter to this person without checking him out myself first, so I made an appointment with him.  On the phone he told me that he did not normally counsel teenagers, but would meet with me and hear my concerns to see if he thought he could help.

His office was in the upstairs of an old Victorian house which seemed to be unoccupied except for his upstairs suite.  No one was in earshot, but that didn’t especially bother me initially.  I was seated about ten feet away from him, so I wasn’t ill at ease at first.  A rapid exit was possible if necessary.

I encountered the first problem when he was insistent that I tell him our family’s annual income.  I refused to do so, as this was none of his business.  I told him I did not see it as relevant.  He said he needed to know if part of our daughter’s problem was financial insecurity.  I told him that we were comfortable and that we had no financial worries, and in any event, we would never discuss such things with our children.  He then tried to impress me with how much he earned yearly.

After several more minutes of discussion, he asked me the bust size of all the women in the household….my daughter, her two sisters and myself.  I told him that had no relevance, at which point he stared me up and down and said that of course it did, and after all, “You are an attractive woman with no obvious physical defects.”

So clearly, I was NOT sending my daughter to this creep and the session was soon over.  I asked him how much I owed and pulled out my checkbook.  He told me that he could arrange for my insurance to pay for the session by saying I had come to him for something like “life adjustment” counseling or something similar.  I said, “No, I didn’t come for me.  I came to see if you were an appropriate person to whom I could send my daughter.”

I wrote the check and placed it on the table next to the door.  I was not about to walk up to him and hand it to him.  I was so angry that I actually considered dropping it on the floor, so he would have to stoop to pick it up.  I have sometimes wished that I had done that.

I reported all this to the pediatrician, who shook his head and said, “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

A few months later, I read that the psychologist and his wife were divorced.  No surprise to me.

I was so glad that I had scoped out the situation before sending my daughter upstairs in a deserted house with an opportunistic predator.