Who's to Blame?

Most Americans are justifiably horrified by the recent mass shootings and know something must be done to stop this terrible trend.  In order to stop something, we look for a cause.  Since we are a varied society, we come up with varying ideas as to how to solve the problem.  The difficulty is that there seem to be multiple factors, and different voices among us are, therefore, calling for different actions.

Some blame it on the availability of guns, while others believe that being able to carry a weapon is actually a deterrent.  I know of people who “conceal carry” to church.  Personally, I believe in Second Amendment rights, but I don’t think that should include anyone being able to purchase an automatic weapon that can eject large volumes of ammunition in rapid succession.  We need to limit large volume magazines and the types of rifles that are typically used in mass shootings.  We need a change in our gun laws without taking away the individual’s right to own a gun for hunting and personal protection.

Some blame mental health issues.  It is true that many people who need mental health care have difficulty accessing it.  Parents, who are aware that their child is struggling with mental health issues, may find themselves struggling to find adequate care for their child.  For decades now, there has been a move to deinstitutionalize people with mental health problems.  They have been integrated into society, instead of being placed in confined situations.  Some of these people cannot function adequately in society.  Some are homeless.  Some are as isolated IN society, as they once were isolated FROM society.  Our mental health system needs to be improved.

Others point to violent video games and other media.  Young people don’t draw as defined a line between reality and fantasy as adults do.  Sure, my generation saw violence in cartoons, but they were clearly goofy cartoon characters.  The Road Runner and Wily Coyote did not look like the people we lived with and among.  Now, graphics in the media are extremely realistic.  Television and movies are filled with violence.  But seeing a bloodied corpse on the screen is not as upsetting as seeing one lying at one’s feet.  We become immune to the gore which should be making us sick.  There should be additional limitations on what can be shown through the media.

The media and 24/7 news are also part of the problem.  A shooter knows he will gain instant recognition.  For some sick minds, that is a reward.  A famous anchor will go to the site of his carnage, and although he/she will say they are focusing on the victims, the shooter knows he, although he may be dead, will have power over this situation.  His picture will be shown.  His manifesto will be read.  Sadly, there will be those who follow his lead.  I have no idea how we put this genie back in the bottle!

Being incited to violence by the rhetoric of our politicians is currently a favorite whipping boy.  In the two most recent mass shootings, one shooter had expressed white nationalist, ultra-right views.  But, the other called himself a Democrat and a leftist.  Both parties need to become more circumspect in what they say and recognize that what to them are just words, may become actions to those who listen to them.  Neither side is guiltless.

Now let’s get to the REAL problem.  Our nation has lost its collective soul!

Our youth do not feel valued.  They know we can abort them.  Too many experience abuse and neglect. Well-meaning parents are afraid to discipline, lest child protective service comes to their door.  Children are ignored by parents who are both working to maintain a certain lifestyle, and who are glued to their smart phones when they are home.  Children are not given jobs in the home that make them feel like they are contributing to the family.  Parents leave the teaching of values to the school system, which can no longer incorporate anything “religious” into the school day.  Parents divorce and the kids are pawns in the battles between them. Single mothers struggle to play both parental roles.  Families no longer eat dinner together and talk about their day.  Gender identity issues are no longer considered mental health problems.  Anything goes.

The book of Judges in the Bible describes the chaos and evil of a society when “everyone did as he saw fit.”  We are in that situation.  We are told to be tolerant of other viewpoints, but we have carried that to an extreme in which we believe it is acceptable for everyone to come up with his/her own moral code.

Hey, folks!  This isn’t going to work!

I know that there are those who believe that if we all work together and if we educate young people to be tolerant of others and deal properly with their own feelings, this problem will diminish or even disappear when coupled with some appropriate changes in laws. Having been both a nurse and a teacher, I have observed that hard work and education do NOT solve a problem which comes from the heart and soul.  Nor can morality be legislated.

We are in a terrible downward spiral.  It won’t matter much whether 2020 brings a Democrat into power or whether Trump gets four more years.  We are looking at the fall of America, unless we rediscover our soul.  We once had collective values.  When I was growing up, even those who did not attend church, who were not “religious,” followed the Judeo-Christian ethic.  That ethic would be tolerant of other religious views or no religious views, but it would not incorporate them.  To be biblical, there is a difference between “caring for the aliens among us” and “bowing down to Baal.”

In Ezra 9, Ezra acknowledges the sin of his people.  Extracting the portions of his prayer that seem relevant today:

O, my God, I am too ashamed and disgraced to lift up my face to you, my God, because our sins are higher than our heads and our guilt has reached to the heavens…..But now, O our God, what can we say after this?  For we have disregarded the commands you gave through your servants the prophets. …What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our sins have deserved….O Lord, you are righteous!...Here we are before you in our guilt, though because of it not one of us can stand in your presence.”

We cannot tolerate everything in our society.  We are decayed on the inside, and it is reaching the surface and exploding outward in hatred and violence.

Our nation needs a spiritual reawakening.  We need to plead for forgiveness and turn from the evil we have been embracing.

God’s love demands His mercy, but His righteousness demands His judgment. 

Someday the Lion will roar, and that day may soon be upon us.

Raspberry Reverie

The raspberry bushes in the backyard are currently producing enough that I have had two pickings which were not quite enough for a pie and which I used on ice cream and cereal, and one picking that was enough for a pie which I am now enjoying.  There are more coming too.

So here are some raspberry memories….

In the mid 70s we moved into a neighborhood of old Victorian homes.  The new neighbor across the street was reorganizing her yard and dug up a small clump of raspberries which she gave to me.  I planted them along a narrow strip of sidewalk which ran next to the carriage house.  Raspberries propagate by send up shoots from their roots.  Every year before my husband mowed the lawn for the first time, I would dig up the shoots which had popped up in the lawn and plant them back along that narrow sidewalk.  After decades of living there, I had a raspberry patch about 3 feet wide and 15 feet long.

The summer after our son was born, I would put him in the umbrella stroller when I went to work in the garden behind the carriage house.  As we passed the raspberries, I would pick one big juicy berry and put it in his little 8-month old mouth.  When he was about 8 years old, and he and his friends ate most of the berries while playing on the nearby swing-set, I figured it was my own fault, and I couldn’t scold him.  I had taught him the enjoyment of a raspberry….or two or twenty…right off the bush.  There were years when only a literal handful made it into the house.

Yesterday we attended the calling hours for an elderly woman who passed away last weekend.  In the receiving line we met a pretty young woman in her 30s who was a granddaughter of the deceased lady.  We would not have recognized her, but when she was a child, she had lived in the house next to us for a time.  The first thing she said to us was “OH!  I used to eat your raspberries!”  I think she felt guilty about it, but there was no need.  We knew the neighborhood children enjoyed the raspberries!  She also mentioned ice-skating on the rink my husband used to create in the backyard.  I am always pleased when I hear that a young adult has pleasant memories from childhood of being in our home. 

When we moved to our present home 9 years ago, I moved some of the raspberries.  Here I must try to keep the deer from eating them.  Children I don’t mind, but those deer are a pain!  I have covered the bushes with netting, but that makes it difficult for me to pick the berries.

We are moving into a small apartment in two weeks, and this time I can’t take the raspberries along.  The new owners of our home have a little boy and another on the way.  I hope they enjoy the raspberries!

An Awkward Age

I spent most of my adult life thinking that age 14-15 was the most awkward age.  You are no longer a child, but neither are you fully adult.  You don’t know for sure what you want to do with your life, or if you do know, you haven’t figured out how to achieve it.  I felt as though turning 16 brought me out of the “Dark Ages” of my life.

No other stage of my life seemed all that unsettling.  The end of high school years and college were challenging times, but also exciting times full of new experiences.  Early marriage without kids was great.  Having a young family had its dark moments and times of total exhaustion, but also lots of enjoyable times going places and doing things with our children.  I was too busy to bother with a midlife crisis…well, other than having a baby in my 40s, but that allowed me to do lots of fun things over again.   I got a job that allowed for creativity and variety after the kids were launched, and we have enjoyed being empty nesters.  Now we have moved into retirement, and I feel like I have entered another awkward time period.

The 70s are a strange time.  I no longer have my full vigor, but neither am I totally broken down.  My energy level is nowhere near what it once was, but I don’t feel ready to be put out to pasture either.  So how exactly do I make productive use of my remaining years?  For example, the director of the church’s Vacation Bible School announced on Sunday that one key position not filled is the Bible teacher.  Now, I have been telling Bible stories for 60 years.  I started as a teenager.  Truthfully, I started as a kid.  I used to gather neighborhood children and tell them Bible stories and create crafts for them to do, but I was probably 14 or 15 when I was asked for the first time to be a Bible story teacher in an official capacity at a girl’s camp.  Over the years, I have taught every age group at some time in a Sunday School or Vacation Bible School.  My brain still works well enough to do this, but….my voice is weak.  I can’t project it as I once did.  So, I am at an awkward age.  My brain tells me “yes, you can do that” all the time.  My body says, “hey sister, I’m not planning to cooperate.”

I am currently working on a very creative sewing project.  My busy brain is excited, but I can only sit and work on it so long before my back says, “I’m going to keep causing you pain until you change positions.”  ARRRRRRGH!  Have I bitten off more than I can chew?  Or do I just need to “chew” more slowly than I did a decade or two ago?

In about 3 weeks, we are selling our house and moving into a small apartment we will keep in the north, while we begin living primarily at a retirement center in Florida.  I lay awake at night with my head spinning with all the things that need to happen in order to accomplish this move.  Then I am so tired during the day, that I don’t get many of what needs doing done. 

Being in my 70s is nearly as confusing as being a teenager!

 Who knew?????

Doing What Comes Naturally

I recently saw a Facebook disagreement over LGBTQ issues.  One of the parties put forth the argument that science proves that homosexual behavior is “normal,” because it is found in animals.

This is a false notion for multiple reasons.  Just because something is found in nature doesn’t mean it is appropriate.   Although some animals mate for life with one of the opposite sex, many animals are polygamous, but in the United States polygamy is illegal in humans.  Some animals are cannibalistic, but most human societies don’t condone that behavior.  So, although there are examples of homosexual behavior in animals, this is hardly reason for human beings to follow suit.

Even if homosexual attraction is “innate” in a human being, it does not mean those inclinations should be put into practice.  There are people who have a mental illness that causes them to habitually lie, but we don’t give them the green light to do it as they please.  We contradict their lies.  A schizophrenic is out of touch with reality, but we don’t play along with his delusions.  We try to reorient him to reality.  There are individuals who because of genetic makeup are prone to violent behavior.  We don’t tell them, “Go right ahead and maim or kill others.  You are just doing what comes naturally to you.”  Such individuals often end up in the prison system.  We are doing people with such tendencies a tremendous disservice if we try to normalize their behavior.

Whether in animals or humans, these deviations from the norm, or from what society accepts, are due to sin.  We live in a fallen world.  Much of what we see around us was not God’s intent.  His plan is that someday “the lion will lay down with the lamb.”  Violence and evil are not His choice.  Neither is homosexual conduct.  He makes it clear in both the Old and New Testaments that the plan is for one man and one woman to enter into a life-long relationship.  In both testaments, homosexual behavior is labeled as sinful and unacceptable.

HOWEVER, it is not the only sin! 

Someone once criticized me for inviting a homosexual couple to a party at my home.  The couple were neighbors, and I was inviting all neighbors.  The person who criticized me was at that point in his/her life behaving in a very promiscuous manner.  The Bible is very clear that is also SIN.  Sometimes those of us who believe in the truth of the Bible get distracted from the verse that says, “ALL have sinned.”  We come to believe that some sins are worse than others and are too quick to point the finger.  Gossip and gluttony are also condemned, and I have observed both of those among churchgoers.

I have made every attempt to treat people who are LGBTQ the same as I treat everyone.  Are they sinners?  Yes…but so are we all.  If they ask me, will I tell them such behavior is sinful.  Yes…but I will also love and support them in any way available to me without condoning the sin.  I will not buy booze for an alcoholic or a 2-pound box of chocolates for a glutton.  I will not offer a juicy tidbit to a gossip or give my leftover oxycodone to an addict.  If a schizophrenic asks me if I can see the white birds flying around his head, I will say ‘no.’  I will also speak the truth of God’s word to gay friends and family.

But, Jesus ate with sinners and called Pharisees (who were the religious leaders) “blind leaders of the blind.”  He came for the express purpose of both calling out sin and saving us from it.  What we are naturally inclined to do is often not in our best interest.  The apostle Paul talks quite a bit about the need to forsake the natural man and enter into a relationship with God through Christ becoming spiritual men.

Nature gives us interesting examples.  God gives us His Spirit to transform us.

Calling Hours

An acquaintance from a professional setting, who became a friend, passed away a few days ago.  The calling hours were today about a 40-minute drive from my home.  During the ride there and back, I was reflecting on the awkwardness that can result from trying to find the right thing to say to bereaved family…especially if you do not know them as well as you have known the deceased person.

I am sure there have been times when I have said something that was not the perfect thing to say, but I have at least attempted not to be totally insensitive.  I have, however, been on the receiving end of some really inappropriate remarks.  On one occasion, I stopped at the church where the service was to be held.  I had prepared a powerpoint presentation with pictures of the deceased family member and background music.  I took a copy on a memory stick to the church office so that it could be checked out ahead of time and ready to go for the memorial service.  The church secretary took it in to one of the pastors’ offices.  He proceeded to rant at her that he was doing something and certainly could not look at it now.  I could hear every word he said.  He should have known that I could.  I had not asked for it to be done right then….just that it be verified before the service so that it could be run smoothly.

Wow!  He did not come out of the office and express his sympathy and tell me he would do his best to see that everything was ready for the service.  He sat in his office and ranted at the secretary.  I wanted very badly to give him some unsolicited advice on how to behave toward someone who has just lost a family member. 

At my Mother’s memorial service, some wonderful things were said about her…every word of it was true.  She was a great lady and deserving of the praise.  But on the way out, one individual said to me, “Well, you’re never going to live up to that!” 

How on earth could that be construed as even remotely appropriate to say to a bereaved family member?  Maybe it is true.  Maybe I will never live up to the sweetness and goodness of my Mother.  The truth is that I don’t aspire to be like her.  We are very different people.  I need to aspire to be the best version of who I am.  In any case, insulting someone at a family member’s memorial service is a major faux pas.  I actually did not hold it against the woman.  I figured such situations are awkward and some people say the wrong thing instead of saying nothing, so I shrugged it off.  But I thought of it today, as I pondered what I could say.

The line was really long today.  I waited an hour and a half to see the family.  I tried to find something positive to say to each of them.  I hope I didn’t say anything that was in any way hurtful.  “I am sorry for your loss” seems so trite, and they must have heard it more that 100 times today, but that or just a hug or handshake is better than a thoughtless, careless remark.  Since none of them knew me, I shared with each of them how I had known the lovely lady, respected her, and valued her friendship.

Death is awkward.  It is a sure thing, but not a pleasant thing.  Death was not God’s original intent for us.  It rips a person out of the fabric of his or her family and leaves a gaping hole.  If we joke about it, it is just because we don’t want to stare it straight in the face.  But we need to remember that family who have suffered this loss have a raw wound.  We need to pour on a healing tonic…not a burning acid.

I don’t think there is much chance of the offenders mentioned here reading this, but if they do, I hope they recognize themselves and, in the future, pray for wisdom before they speak.

Should you "live your own truth?"

This past week, I heard a commencement speaker expound on the need to “live your own truth” instead of the truth assigned to you by others.  There was much in his speech with which I agreed.  I do believe you should not let other people define or limit you.  You should not allow others to emphasize your weaknesses and pigeon-hole you as someone who can only do this and not that.  It is healthy to enjoy your accomplishments and set goals which push you past previous limits.

But…

That is NOT the same thing as living your own truth.  How on earth do any of us figure out what our own truth is?  What if we are deluded?  What if our upbringing and prior experiences have impacted us in such subtle ways that we don’t even realize that our truth is really a composite of the truth of others?  As I was growing up, my father repeatedly told me I was fat and stupid.  I believe he loved me and that he had no idea how his words…which he thought were teasing…were affecting me.  I knew enough to reject the “stupid” part, since I had a habit of being at the top of my class, but I bought into the “fat” description.  I felt awkward about my body, insecure about the way I moved, and the way I looked.  It took me years away from home to get over that.  I didn’t even know I was living something other than my own truth.

The healing thing for me was the realization that I could live, not my own truth, but God’s truth about me.  I began relying on the fact that God has created each of us uniquely and specially, and that He loves us individually.  I’m not talking about “God loves mankind.”  I am talking about “God loves me.”  When I accepted Jesus into my life as my personal Savior, I became a child of the King.  He has a plan for me.  As I seek to follow Him, He will give me an assignment…a job that I am better suited for than anyone else.  This is not an ego-trip which involves living my own truth.  This is absolute confidence in His love for me and His desire to see me fulfilled.  I want to live His TRUTH.  

Why would I short-change myself by living my own truth when I can live His?

Anticipation

In anticipation, I wait each spring.

A tree now covered with dull buds.

Holds a promise of brilliant color,

Pink and magenta soon to appear.

A few warm sunny days away,

I will stare in wonder at its beauty.

A thrilling transformation will dazzle,

And take my breath away.

In anticipation, I wait each day.

A world terribly broken,

Yet holds a promise of redemption,

A champion soon to appear.

A few days or years away,

Staring in wonder at His beauty,

I will be transformed into his likeness,

And breathe celestial air.