On a Quiet December Morning

In the quiet, still and windless dawn,

Snow hangs on trees undisturbed.

Dark branches silhouette against the gray

Of morning sky.

On the sidewalk snow, imprints reveal

Nighttime activity of small creatures,

Little feet with a purpose unknown to me

Have passed by.

Outside my bubble of quiet calm.

Lies a world of turmoil, in need of peace,

But with jubilant angel declaration, He came!

Is that not why?

And so my feet must move with purpose,

I must leave an imprint in the cold world,

Come with me to see the babe in the manger

And lullaby,

Glorify,

Magnify

Crucify! 

Crucify?

Ah, yes…the plan from the beginning of time.

Atonement requires a spotless lamb.

The Son of God grows up.  He lives

In order to die.

To the still and darkness of my heart

Comes a flash of blinding light…insight.

I see my need, your gift!  Oh, Savior…

Do not pass me by!

A Blog Worth Repeating at Christmastime

Every year at Christmastime, I reminisce about my first Christmas away from my family. I was 18 years old and in my second year of Nursing School. In those "olden days," nursing programs were based in hospitals, rather than colleges. The education was inexpensive, because the student nurse was basically the hospital's slave. We got four weeks of vacation a year, and it was not our choice when we took it. So it was that in 1963, I was hundreds of miles away from my family trying to discover Christmas on my own.

I attended a church in Oak Park regularly and sang in the church choir. Just before Christmas there was to be a Sunday evening concert by the choir. Although I often sang solos, duets and other special parts, the only one I had been scheduled to sing that night was with two other girls on the same part in one of the choir numbers. During the hour before the concert, the college and career group was meeting, and that's where I was when someone called me out of the meeting with, "Larry wants to see you."

Larry was the church pianist, and I couldn't imagine what he wanted with me. I soon learned that the program was to include a special arrangement by Larry of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear." It was to be a duet, but the alto was ill with laryngitis. Larry wanted me to sing the part, because he really wanted his arrangement to be included in the program.

I am not sure how clearly I expressed verbally what I was thinking, but it went something like, "You're crazy! I am a soprano. I have never sung alto in my entire life. The concert is about 40 minutes from beginning. How could I possibly learn the part that quickly? Plus which, it isn't just for the hundreds of people attending....it's going to be recorded. If I mess up, there will be lasting evidence!"

Larry calmly informed me that the alto had the melody in some of the piece, and he could teach me the rest. He was so confident that I could do this, that I gave in. I had some misgivings about my sanity, but I gave in.

In the next 15 to 20 minutes, he analyzed the part for me. He told me that when I had to pick out the harmony, he would emphasize my note in the chord just before my entrance. He described some of the intervals as being similar to those in other songs he knew I was familiar with. We went through it about 3 times.

And I did it.  Now listening to the recording, there is one note that makes me uncomfortable. Not because it is a clunker, but because I attacked it too vigorously.

When Christmas Day came, a group of us decided to go caroling in the halls of the hospital before work at 7 AM. One of the girls in the group knew which room was occupied by a reputed Mafia boss whose bodyguards never left his side. We decided we would sing right outside his door. When we finished, a voice boomed out of the room with a stereotypical, "Tanks, goils." We hastened into the stairwell before bursting into giggles, which I expect he heard.

I had been working with the same patients for several days, so I took Christmas cards for them with me to work that morning, only to discover I had been reassigned to the other end of the floor. Being short-staffed had caused some realignment. I was disappointed when I realized that I had been assigned to two patients who had had strokes and were comatose. I had wanted to interact and spread some Christmas cheer.

When I entered the room of these two totally unresponsive ladies, I was startled to see that a beautiful orchid had been pinned to the pillow of one of the women. Her son had come in early that morning and placed it there as a token of his love for her. For me, it was a reminder that these ladies were not just blobs of humanity, but mothers who were loved. My whole attitude was abruptly altered.

As I bathed them, changed their positions, put clean sheets on the bed and gave other care that Christmas Day, I sang carols to them. I had no idea if they could hear the songs, but if a son cared enough to leave an orchid, I needed to care enough to make an attempt at helping them know that it was Christmas....a day for joy in the midst of pain.

Now every year, I listen to that old recording of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear." Over the years, the record became scratchy, and I put the song on a tape. Eventually I put it on a CD. I listen somewhat in awe of how well I actually did, but mostly because listening calls me back to that era of my life. It makes me remember my 18 year old self having the courage to perform a piece I didn't know well, laughing over "Tanks, goils," and having an orchid on a pillow adjust my attitude.

Being with family for Christmas is wonderful, but the real meaning is in experiencing the love, peace, joy and salvation that the Baby in the Manger entered our world to bring.

I knew that in my head before I was 18, but that year, it filled my heart.

Wake Up!

It seems to me that the majority of teens and young adults have no ability to think about anything substantive.  Well, maybe this isn’t just a young person’s problem.  Maybe it is true of people in general.

Their heads seem to be full of the occurrences in the “lives” of people who aren’t REAL people….i.e. characters they see on TV or in the movies.  They bounce to the beat of music with incomprehensible lyrics.  They travel “in the zone” while playing video games. They blather on endlessly in totally empty-headed conversation.  Meanwhile, actual LIFE passes them by.

Does anyone ever think any more about who they are and why they are here?  I mean, beyond the notion that one must do something to obtain money in order to obtain material possessions and maintain a cell phone with unlimited calls, text and data.  Notice I have not stipulated whether this money is earned or derived from a government program.  Also, whether or not material possessions are obtained honestly or dishonestly is not even a consideration.  The line between right and wrong has become so blurred that the possibility that a line exists is shrugged off.

To be fair, I do know a few people who consider their motives and the implications of their actions, but I also know a bunch who don’t…..who seem incapable of this level of thought.  How can a person like myself even talk to such people?  Where does one begin?  It is as though their heads are so full of white noise that they can hear nothing.  Or perhaps, instead of the emptiness that white noise implies, they are so full of the disorganized clutter of unrelated debris, that there is no chance of bringing order into the chaos.  No logical thought can precipitate out of the mess.

I would dearly love to confront certain people with some truths.

*There is a God who is creator and sustainer of the universe.

*He loves you enough that He sent His Son to die in your place as a payment for your sins. 

*He has a plan for your life.

*If you even begin to comprehend this and look to Him for guidance, your life will have meaning and you will understand what it means to experience joy.

*It seems so obvious to me….why don’t you get it?  Stop believing all those lies the world is telling you.  This really works! 

But, they continue in their mental and spiritual fog.  When they are upset, they look to me for help in the form of money or other marvelous solutions to their dilemmas.  But…they don’t want the REAL ANSWER, which is admitting they don’t have the answers, and God does. 

Wake up!  Swallow some pride, and throw yourself at God’s feet.  Let Him lift you up.  You are here for a reason.

Little Brown Mouse

Little brown mouse, little brown mouse,

Running through the house, running through the house,

The ladies all shrieked and ran away,

The children all laughed and wanted to play,

And so there was chaos Thanksgiving Day

With the little brown mouse.

Little brown mouse, little brown mouse,

Running through the house, running through the house,

At bedtime Grandpa set a trap,

At midnight Grandma heard it go snap,

And so began the unending nap

Of the little brown mouse.

By the Time I Get to Phoenix....

I am not supposed to be in Phoenix.  I am supposed to be home.

But….

When my husband I and returned from 18 days in Europe on Monday evening, we learned that areas east of the Great Lakes were getting hammered with lake effect snow.  We had planned to stay in a hotel in Philadelphia Monday night, and on Tuesday, Bill was to fly to Phoenix for a trade show, and I was to return home. When I checked my flight status, I learned it was cancelled.  The weather forecast didn’t offer much encouragement that flights would be going in my direction any time soon.

Decisions…decisions….stay by myself in a Philadelphia hotel waiting for the weather to break at home or try to get on a flight to Phoenix?  No brainer….but there is where the complications began.

When we approached USAir about getting me on the same flight to Phoenix with my husband, the agent was downright snotty….no way, it could not be done.  My husband expressed exasperation, “What do you mean you can’t do it?  If there are seats available, of course, you can do it!”  Then we figured out that she was assuming we were trying to get a free ticket to Phoenix, which was not our intent.  Once we assured her that we intended to pay for the ticket, she quickly determined there were seats available on all of his flights and was even accommodating about trying to find a way to reduce the cost.  In the end, it didn’t cost much more than it would have cost for me to be in the hotel room for three days.

It was a bit of a jolt to deal with USAir personnel after traveling on British Airways.  When compared to British Air, the USAir folks are downright surly.

In any event…off to Phoenix I went, thinking about the next issue.  We had packed for my husband figuring on the extra days in Phoenix after the European trip, but of course, I hadn’t planned on that, so I had a suitcase full of dirty clothes, and not much left to wear.  I figured that when we arrived at the hotel, I would send a few items of clothing to the laundry service.

By the time we got to Phoenix, we were exhausted…..we had crossed eight time zones since leaving Europe.  We were hungry.   We desperately wanted a bit of food and a bed.  My husband had been told there was no reason to rent a car, as there would be a shuttle to the hotel downtown near the convention center.  Uh…whoops..wrong….no shuttle!  So, we got a taxi.

We arrived at the downtown Sheraton, thinking we had reached our journey’s end.  But wait…..the hotel had overbooked and needed to send us elsewhere for just one night.   They were unclear about the location of the Arizona Grand, and we assumed it was close by, since Bill needed to be at the convention center at 10 the next morning.  The desk clerk said that the bellhops would take care of our luggage, and she was going to “walk us over there.”  But, what she meant was that she was walking us to a waiting car.  We got in the car, still assuming we were only going a couple of blocks.  Pretty soon we were on the freeway heading south….and south…and further south.  We went past the airport at which we had just recently arrived.  I wondered aloud if we were heading to Mexico. My normally calm husband was becoming agitated…..how was he supposed to get back to the convention center?  The Sheraton had given him a voucher for his ride back, but he was worried about what would happen to me.  They were supposed to have a room available the next day, but what time would it be available?  Was I going to be stranded in the lobby for hours waiting for a room?

The Arizona Grand is a gorgeous place, but it was hard to appreciate it given that on check-in, we were still tired and hungry, and I didn’t have clean clothes. I couldn’t send anything to their laundry service, because I wasn’t going to be there the next day to receive it back. 

The Arizona Grand is so spread out that you can’t get anywhere without calling for a golf cart to take you.  Fortunately, the young men who tool around on these golf carts are very considerate and accommodating….and yes, they said, there is a laundry facility available for me.  We came up with the plan that I would sort out what I needed to wash.  The golf cart would take me to the laundry.  Bill would go on the golf cart transport to one of the restaurants on the premises and get take-out to bring back to the laundry.

This may not seem like a big deal, but remember, we are totally exhausted at this point.  We arrive at the “laundry” and discover it is just a washer and dryer in a hallway….no detergent dispenser, no change machine at which to get the necessary quarters, no table or chairs to sit down while we eat.  The nice young guy driving the golf cart was determined to solve these issues for us.  He made a phone call and found that the front desk could sell us some detergent and of course, make change for us.   So, off we go to the front desk and back.  After making sure I was settled in the laundry, he took Bill to one of the restaurants for food, and then ushered us to a lounge area near the laundry where we could eat.

Much relieved, we ate hamburgers large enough to feed a family of four in a third world country and waited for the washing and drying process to be completed.  When it was done, we called the golf cart guy and he returned us to our “villa.”

We had a restful night’s sleep.  In the morning, Bill called the Sheraton to see when a room would be available.  He made it clear that he was unhappy about the notion of leaving his wife stranded with nowhere to go while he went off to the convention center.  I assured him that I would be fine.  I was sure the hotel would put our suitcases someplace safe, and I was sure I could entertain myself somehow…..shopping, perhaps?

We called the bellhop to arrange our transportation back to the Sheraton.  He said that he actually had a car sitting there waiting.  They loaded us into the car, but before we were out the driveway, we discovered the driver had no knowledge of our transportation voucher, so back to the Arizona Grand we went.  We had to wait about 20 minutes, while the bellhop got in touch with the correct transportation company.  Meanwhile one of those nice young golf cart guys got each of us a cup of coffee.

Eventually we arrived back at the downtown Sheraton which actually had a room ready for us….a very nice room on the 22^nd floor.  I can see all the way to the airport from our window.  The mountains surrounding are beautiful, and all is well.  Between the clothes I washed at the Arizona Grand and a couple of things I purchased at the store across the street, I have adequate clean clothing.

I even contacted a good friend and former co-worker, who lives in Phoenix now.  She got off work early in order to come and see me.  We had a great visit at the local Starbucks.

By the time I got to Phoenix, I was exhausted and felt like Murphy’s Law had been operating in my life …..but I’m fine now, and appreciative of the people who went out of their way to be helpful in fighting off Murphy.

In Love with Autumn

Oh, autumn, I am so in love with you!

Every sense responds to your embrace.

The crunch of dry leaves under my feet,

The honk of geese heading south,

The riotous palette of colors,

The tingle of fresh-pressed cider,

The aroma of garden tomatoes simmering into sauce.

You surround me with a coolness that invigorates.

I pull my sweaters out of storage,

Snuggle under the blankets at night.

Savor spicy chili at suppertime.

My mind revs to a higher speed.

I want to think new thoughts.

How many more autumns will I see?

Will twenty be enough?

If I was dying in August,

Would I hang on hoping for one more?

How could I ever leave you, autumn?

Your beauty refreshes my life.

Some associate spring with new life,

Winter with death, and autumn

As winter’s precursor, is depressing.

But I love you, even as bare trees

Are stark against the few remaining

Splashes of color and dark evergreens.

In your lingering days, as you fade,

You slide me gently into other arms.

Thanksgiving brings family.

I rise early to roast the turkey

And see the blaze of sunrise,

Through your barren branches.

By the time you have left me,

I am embraced by the holiday season.

You have slipped away with such stealth,

That your departure is not painful.

But my love for you is never-ending,

And I will welcome your return.

Oh, autumn, I am so in love with you!

The End of Human History

When human history is over, God will be totally justified in how He deals with mankind.  He has given us every opportunity to seek and find Him, and we collectively have failed.

At first, God gave us a set of rigid laws to follow.  The Jews were not only given the Ten Commandments, but many detailed rituals were prescribed.  Although specific punishments were also to be meted out for infractions, and judgments fell for disobedience, man found many creative ways to disobey and attempt to assert his independence from God.  Mankind in general refused to come to God through rules and sacrificial ritual. 

From the beginning of time, however, God knew He would reach out to us in another way, and so, He changed His approach.  Instead of detailed rules, He set forth the law of love.  He demonstrated the change through Christ, who became the ultimate sacrifice.  The sinless One died for our sin, and we entered the age of grace.  God, who knows our hearts, is more interested in our motives than in our specific actions.  But, mankind finds many creative ways to abuse this grace, and we shake our collective fist in the face of God.

God bides His time and watches.  We have refused to come to Him in repentance either through the law or through grace.  He has given the human race both opportunities, and we have persisted in our desire to set ourselves up as our own gods.  We want no sense of responsibility to Him.  Many in our culture even deny His existence.

But, He does have a claim on us.  He did create us and loves each of us uniquely.  He values each of us individually.  We are our brothers’ keepers.  How great must be His grief when we abuse and take advantage of one another.  Human cruelty and hatred knows no bounds, in contrast to God’s boundless love and mercy.

How will any of us be able to stand, when at the end of human history, the Lion roars?