Dad's Haircut

My father was a very stubborn man.  After my mother passed away, there was no one to stop him from carrying out some of his more bizarre plans.  For example, shortly after her death, he shortened all his slacks to the point where they looked like he was preparing for high water.  I didn’t know about it until after the deed was done, and he told me, “I don’t know why Mom wanted me to wear my pants so long.”  Actually, it was because her fashion sense was better than his, but I couldn’t really tell him that.

Another quirk which emerged was that he began to cut his own hair.  He couldn’t see what he was doing and was old enough that holding his arms up to accomplish the feat was a problem, but he did it anyway.  This resulted in some dreadful haircuts.

A few months after Mom’s passing, he moved in with us, and I started to feel responsible for his appearance.  So, one day when I was going out to do errands, I offered to take him to a barber shop.

“No,” he did not want to do that.

I tried to tell him that his haircut was sub par, but he wouldn’t listen.

I then said, “You know, Dad, Mom is probably upset with me for not taking better care of you.”

Harrumph

“When I see Mom in heaven someday, she is going to say, ‘Why didn’t you take better care of my Fritzy?  Why did you let him run around like that?’”

Grumpy face reply:  “No, she won’t.”

Me:  “Yes she will.”

At this point in time, my Dad’s brother Roy was also cutting his own hair with similar results, so my next attempt was:  “You know, this is not a contest between you and Uncle Roy to see who can have the worst haircut.”

No response.

I sighed and thought.

“Please let me take you to the barbershop.”

He just slumped in his chair and stared at the floor.  I had seen him use this technique on high pressure salesmen.

So, I pulled out all the stops.  “Okay, Dad.  But when you die, I’m going to have the undertaker give you a nice cut, so you’ll look good in your coffin.”

He retreated to his room.

A short time later, I walked through the kitchen to leave via the back door.  Dad was sitting at the table with his jacket on.

“Are you coming with me, Dad?”

“Yes, you can drop me at the barber shop.”

He got a nice cut that day, but it’s not the end of the story.

Several years later, it was no longer safe for him to be alone while I was at work.  We moved him into a nursing home.  He died only six days later, but in those six days, he had discovered that he could get a free haircut at the nursing home.

So….there he was in the coffin with a brush cut.

As people came to the calling hours, some said, “Gee, I’ve never seen him with his hair that short!”

I shrugged and replied, “You know Dad….the cuts at the nursing home were free.”

I guess in the end, he got even with me.  The undertaker couldn’t give him the nice cut I had planned on, and the rascal also died on my anniversary.

What's in a Name?

Bill had some items he needed to take to a dry cleaners today.  I searched online, since we are new to this area.  One of the closest seemed to be a business called “60 Minute Cleaners.”  Now just what would you think if you saw that name?  I suggested that he question them as to whether the items would really be done in 60 minutes.  We had other errands to run, and I was picturing that we could stop back in an hour.  When he returned to the car, he informed me that “60 Minute” is just their name and has nothing to do with how long it takes.

This reminds me of a used car dealership in northern New York that was named “Florida Cars.”  I questioned whether the cars actually came from Florida…that would, of course, mean minimal rust.  Well, if you think these were cars that have not been exposed to freezing temperatures and road salt, think again.  “Florida Cars” was just a name that had nothing to do with origin.

I wonder if Friendly’s is always friendly.

I wonder if every Bible church adheres to the Bible.

I wonder how many newspapers are full of opinions rather than news.

Shakespeare said, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

I suppose an onion by any other name would make you cry.

Thankfully, when the Bible says, “He will be called Immanuel, which means God with us,” truth was spoken.  His name describes him perfectly.  Jesus Christ was God incarnated in human form.  There is no deception in the name Immanuel.

Wanting to be Wrong

I hope I’m wrong, but I think he was buying what she was selling…and vice versa.

As I waited for our baggage to appear on the carousel, I couldn’t help but notice a couple standing nearby.  She was holding a bouquet of red roses.  My guess was that they were presented to her by the man who was holding her hand.  I assumed that he had just greeted her with the roses as she had flown in from somewhere to see him, and that they were waiting for her baggage.

Because of his tan, I guessed him to be the Florida resident.  He was not an unattractive man, but he was an older man expensively dressed and with dyed hair in an attempt to look younger, I guessed.  He looked financially well off and confident.

She was young…very young compared to him.  I would have thought she was a daughter but for the constant hand-holding and repeated kisses on her cheek.  She was accepting of the affection, but not reciprocating.  She had pretty features and bleached blond hair…not natural…I could see the roots in her part.  Her very slender figure was accented with skin-tight black pants that had a bit of fringe around the ankles.  She was wearing very, very high heeled black and silver shoes.  I did not see her move during the time we were close, so I could only guess that she could probably walk in them.

Through my mind drifted thoughts like:

*I wonder if he threw away a perfectly good age-appropriate wife for this trophy.

*I wonder how many Viagra he will have to pop in order to keep up with her.

*She doesn’t look scared, so I guess it is consensual.

*I wonder how long they have known each other and under what circumstances they met.  Have they met before?  Is she seeing him in person for the first time?

*What is she thinking?

*I’m pretty sure I know what he’s thinking.

*Hey, Ruth….it’s none of your business.

*Ah, but it breaks my heart.

Here are two people thinking they are each going to satisfy their own needs.  They don’t understand what their needs actually are.  Their understanding of the other person’s needs is very superficial, or perhaps, even irrelevant to them.

I eventually moved from standing behind them to standing in front of them so I wouldn’t have to keep looking and wondering.  Except that out of sight was not out of mind.  I have thought of them repeatedly over the past couple of days.  I think of them with great sadness for the emptiness they are each trying to fill.

Sometimes I really wish I was wrong in my assumptions.

Lost Music

Nothing to which it can be compared,

No adequate words to portray,

With reckless abandon I jump into the stream,

Let the current sweep me away.

While the vibrations penetrate my body,

My heart syncing with the beat,

I drift on a tide of melody.

And thrill to the harmony’s heat.

But robbed by tremor and age,

Expression is trapped inside.

Instead of bursting from heart into song,

It leaks in drops from my eyes.

A Cure for Cancer?

Over recent months, I have seen more than one meme that sends the message that cancer would be cured, rather than treated, if only medical personnel and pharmaceutical firms weren’t so greedy.  Supposedly, they make more money by treating it than by curing it.

I am not directing this post at anyone in particular, because I have seen this message multiple times from multiple Facebook friends.  But, I have reached the point of not being able to tolerate this any longer.

If you think cancer is going to be cured by a magical one-size-fits-all treatment, you are very probably mistaken.  Cancer isn’t just one disease.  It is a large complex of diseases which do have some common factors, but which are also greatly varied as to causes and manifestations.  Probably the factor most in common is that they all involve a mistake being made during cell division.  The cells in our bodies are constantly dividing as we grow when we are young, and to replace worn or injured cells thereafter.  Considering all the millions and billions of times cell division occurs, it is quite miraculous that it happens correctly so much of the time.  I am not a cancer researcher, so I don’t know if the error always occurs at the same step in cell division or if that varies, but it seems to me that identifying a common point of error and finding a treatment that attacks just that point without doing harm to other cells that are dividing properly would be very, very tricky.

Non-medical people tend to think of the body as a machine where everything is understood, and a medication can be given to solve any problem.  We just need to look in the manual under troubleshooting.   Anyone in the field knows that there is an awful lot we don’t know.  Medications work differently in different people.  There are things the body has to do for itself.   Doctors do what they can and then stand back and watch what the body does.  Some doctors project a god-like demeanor, as if they can solve all problems, but that is just an act.  No one has all the answers.

More than 10 years ago, I was invited to attend a state-wide meeting convened by a man who had political connections, but no medical background as far as I could tell.  The purpose of gathering hundreds of people concerned with cancer prevention, detection and treatment was to come up with a plan to “cure cancer” in the next 5 years.  On the way there as I traveled with a group from our area, we discussed the purpose of the meeting.  I made the comment, “Who is going to tell this guy that he can’t cure cancer in the next 5 years!”  The driver said, “Oh, Ruth…that is why we brought you!”  Everyone in the car laughed.

Cancer is, of course, no laughing matter.  I am quite certain it is no laughing matter to the doctors and pharmaceutical executives who have had to watch their own parents, spouses or children die of cancer.  I am sure there are greedy individuals among them.  But, I am just as sure that there are those who would give everything they possess and their own lives to see a cure for those they love.  You do them an injustice when you flippantly accuse them of promoting a treatment rather than a cure.

The notion that there is a cure out there and it is being suppressed is also dangerous.  It allows charlatans to say they have the cure and are being silenced.  I have seen claims like that on the internet, including on Facebook.  People then buy into this and seek treatment through alternative means.  Later, when it is too late for conventional treatments to work, they get around to traditional medicine.  It is the con-artists promoting these types of treatments who are actually the ones interested in making big bucks.

Responsibility for the prevalence of cancer must also be borne by the individuals who end up with a cancer diagnosis.  In many cases, we would not need a “cure” if people were willing to make the lifestyle changes necessary to prevent it.  I am NOT saying that all cancer could be avoided with behavioral changes, but many cancers are influenced by cigarette smoking, alcohol consumption, poor diet, and having multiple sexual partners.  You can hardly live the way you want without restraint, and then present yourself to a doctor and say, “Cure me!”  Childhood cancers are, however, a terrible tragedy for which the child bears no fault.

If this were just a matter of money, we should also consider that there are and have been people with huge fortunes who have died of cancer, and who would have gladly paid for a cure if there was one.  Steve Jobs and Patrick Swayze both died of pancreatic cancer.  I can’t imagine that they wouldn’t have been willing to pay dearly for a cure.  Alex Trebek is currently fighting pancreatic cancer.  He has accepted that his life is nearing its end, and says he is not afraid of death, but he has also said, he would like more time with his wife.  What would he pay for that?

If some researcher had the cure, do you think he would remain quiet?  Would the university or pharmaceutical firm at which he works not be broadcasting the achievement?

A cure would be worth a king’s ransom…and probably a Nobel prize!

It would also heal many broken hearts.

Until there is a cure, let us encourage those who are being treated, and let us be grateful for those who treat them.

Does God Owe Us an Explanation?

While riding on the autotrain between Virginia and Florida, I picked up a magazine called “The National” which was in our compartment.  In it there was an interview with Robert DeNiro.  When the interviewer asked him if he believed in an afterlife, his response was, “If there is a god, he’s got a lot of explaining to do.”

Wow!  How arrogant and ignorant!

I suppose if there was such a thing as a “god” who was contrived by man’s imagination, and who had powers and an intellect somewhat superior to man, but not infinitely greater, one could expect an explanation for the imponderables of our lives and the universe.

But

If there is an Almighty God (upper case G), who is the creator and sustainer of the universe and everything in it, if He sees every sparrow fall, and numbers the hairs on our heads, He does not owe any human being an explanation.  If He chooses to give us one, He must have to dumb it down greatly.  Both His knowledge and His wisdom are vastly superior to that of the most intelligent person on earth.  The created cannot be greater than the Creator.

My son works in a highly technical field.  Once in a phone conversation, he talked excitedly about a project on which he was working.  I struggled to keep up.  I thought to myself, “I wish I understood this well enough to even ask an intelligent question.”  But my grasp of the topic wasn’t adequate for even that. 

After several minutes, he paused and said, “I’m probably boring you.”

I replied, “You are my son, and I love you, and I am so happy that you enjoy your work, but I wish I understood it better.”

His response?  “Oh, Mom…don’t feel bad.  There are only 3 or 4 other people in the world who understand what I have been talking about.”

Now, I am sure there are more than 3 or 4 who have the necessary intellect to understand it, but apparently only that number who have been sufficiently exposed to the topic to immediately connect and be able to discuss intelligently.  I was definitely not one of them.

God has a mind so vastly superior to ours and exposure to such an infinite variety of information, that even if He were to try to give us answers to our burning questions, we might find ourselves struggling as I did to even get a toe hold on the topic.

Certainly, there are horrible events occurring in the world, and we want to shout, “Why?  How can you let this happen, God?”  But the world is full of people who don’t want to follow God’s plan.  We don’t understand why He allows them to harm innocents.  But, we do not see the big picture.  We do not see into eternity past or future.  I rest in His infinitely superior knowledge and wisdom.  He is the potter.  We are the clay.  The clay doesn’t get to choose what the potter does with it.

When I see God face to face, I will not be shaking my fist at Him and demanding an explanation.  I will be on my knees thanking Him for being merciful and providing a means for my salvation.  Who among us would have thought of sacrificing our only Son to redeem humankind?  That is the unbelievably superior mind and tender heart of God.

Adam's Rib

From the dust of the earth

I could have formed her,

As you yourself were made.

But as you slept, I pulled her from your side.

I could have made her

Just like you in texture and form,

But I made her unique,

Unlike you, and yet of you.

You were made of the dirt,

She was artistically fashioned

From living flesh, from sturdy bone,

To be your perfect companion.

If you disrespect or mistreat her,

You dishonor yourself.

You must cherish her, care for her.

 She is my thoughtful gift to you.

When I say, “Cleave and become one flesh,”

I am urging you to be

What you already have been

Since the beginning of time.

Your rib protects your heart,

And so will she formed from a rib.

The union of man and woman,

Is a thing beyond human understanding.