Lovely Lady, Lucky Man

The agent who checked our boarding passes as we got on our flight in Jacksonville said something I remember hearing before.  He scanned my boarding pass, and then as he scanned Bill’s pass, he said, “And here’s the lucky man who gets to sit next to the lovely lady.”  I assume the reason I remember hearing it before is that the same agent scanned our passes on a previous occasion when we flew through Jacksonville.

This brings several questions to my mind:

1.        How many times each day does he say this?

2.       How does he decide on whom to use this line?

3.       Has it ever backfired on him?  Has he ever misjudged the situation?  E.g. Has he ever said it to a couple about to get divorced or in the middle of a fight or who were actually not a couple?

4.       Does he have any other clever lines that he looks for opportunities to use?

In any event, it put a smile on my face and has provided me with some amusement since, as I have pondered various scenarios.  I expect he would get away with it, even if someone didn’t like it, because at that point everyone is hurrying down the jet way and not likely to stop for conversation or confrontation.

I hope he tells his wife that she is lovely, and he is lucky!

Paper Towel Fiasco

While waiting for my flight out of Jacksonville, I decided to use the rest room.  What should have been mundane turned to hilarious, when I attempted to get a paper towel to dry my hands.  I waved my hand in front of the sensor.  The towel came out, and I ripped it off.  But, the towel dispenser did NOT stop.  Another paper towel appeared and then another.  I ripped off about 4 towels, before I began to giggle.  The dispenser kept spitting them out. 

A young lady washing her hands at an adjacent sink looked over and laughed.  I said, “Would you like a paper towel,” and handed her one.  I could not keep up with all the towels spewing out of the machine.  I said, “I feel like Lucille Ball at the chocolate factory.”  The young woman obviously knew what I meant, because she nodded and laughed harder.

Realizing I couldn’t keep up with this, I arranged the towels so that they started to fan-fold on the surface of the counter under the dispenser.  I stood back and tried to figure this out.  No attendant was in sight.  I waved my hand in front of the sensor again…no luck, the towels kept coming.  I hit the dispenser on the right.  The towels kept coming.  I hit the dispenser on the left.  The towels kept coming.  I stood back and laughed some more.

A well-dressed and sophisticated lady came out of a stall and with a stern expression asked me if I had ripped a towel off.  She apparently thought I was an idiot.  She ripped one off, messing up my fanfold arrangement.  The towels kept coming.  I reconstructed the fanfold.

A no-nonsense lady came out of a stall.  The young lady and I were still giggling.  The sophisticated lady was still scowling.  The no-nonsense lady strode over and wiped off the glass that covers the sensor, reasoning that if something was on it, the machine might be thinking a hand was waving.  The towels kept coming.

I started to suspect this might be a Candid Camera trick, and that someone was going to pop out and tell us we had been caught.  But, no one emerged with that information. 

When I left the rest room, the machine was still whirring.  The towels were still fan-folding.  I was still laughing.

Ice Storm Revelation

Competing systems collide,

In rare and mysterious fashion.

A mist or a drizzle deposits,

In layer after layer of glaze.

Not a sudden occurrence,

But building with passing time,

Changing  temperature may reverse

The slow and fearsome process.

The wise seek refuge inside,

They sleep until the sounds begin,

Creaking, groaning, cracking,

Snapping, clattering, crashing.

Morning dawns to an altered world,

Tangled limbs encased, suspended,

Fallen or bent low to the ground,

Creating a crystal palace maze.

For days the cold preserves

The sun illuminated glory

Of a world coated with diamonds

And iridescent jewel paint.

Warming begins the degradation,

With a slow and steady dripping.

Gemstones fall into the snow,

Revealing bare and broken branches.

Some will recover in the spring,

Green sprouts of new life will immerge.

Others, damaged beyond repair,

Will slowly rot away.

The red carpets of the world,

Sparkle with couture and jewels,

Flashes of light reflect from icy glamour.

But time and gravity operate.

And not every tree can bear,

The horrible weight of beauty.

Christmas Accomplished

I feel heartsick and a bit nauseous every time I see a certain ad playing this season.  A beautiful and smartly dressed woman is shown shopping for, wrapping, and giving presents.  The closing line of the ad is “Christmas accomplished.”  I am sickened because it trivializes the true accomplishment of Christmas. 

I am not opposed to gift giving.  I have spent a lot of time over the past few weeks searching for items online and in stores.  I will spend time wrapping the gifts, mailing some to family out of town, and giving others during family occasions over the holidays.  I genuinely enjoy trying to find items that are needed or wanted.  I particularly delight in fulfilling the wishes of grandchildren (one of whom has bubble wrap on her wish list).  But, I am very clear, that is not the purpose of Christmas.  When all the gifts are purchased, wrapped and given, Christmas will NOT be accomplished.

Christmas was God’s accomplishment.  The Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, the One who is infinitely wise, loved us frail and flawed human beings so much, that He was willing to become one of us in order to reconcile us to Himself.  The greatest accomplishment of any human being does not match that.  The sum total of the accomplishments of ALL human beings is nothing in comparison.  This is a mystery beyond the comprehension of the human mind.  “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.”  (John 1:14)

The angels understood the significance and filled the skies with joyful singing.  Glory to God in the highest!  The shepherds, although not totally understanding, had enough of an inkling, that they traveled through the darkness to a stable where they knelt in awe.  The Magi traveled a great distance to bring gifts to someone they believed to be a mighty king.  Even Mary couldn’t quite wrap her mind around the event and pondered these things in her heart.

So…T J Maxx…your pretty lady has NOT accomplished Christmas. 

“God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  (John 3:16)

God gave the gift we all need.

He accomplished Christmas!

“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!”  (II Corinthians 9:15)

Dressed in Black

 This time of year, it is pitch black at 5 pm when I head home after tutoring.  This evening, I waited for on-coming traffic so that I could make the left turn off the main street and on to a side street that leads to home.  A large truck on the side street was at the stop sign giving me the right-of-way before it made the left turn on to the main street.  As I turned, I caught movement near the back of the truck.  A young woman, dressed entirely in dark clothing, ran out from behind the truck and into my lane.  She was on her cell phone, not thinking about her own safety.  I slammed on the brakes.  Fortunately, although there was a dusting of snow, the street was not slippery, and I stopped in time.

I drove away with my heart in my throat and her image etched in my mind.  A slender young black woman, dark pants, dark jacket, some type of head scarf…a print, but dark in color…cell phone to her ear.  If I had hit her, it would not have been my fault.  She was not in a crosswalk and ran out from behind the truck.  But, if I had hit her, who was at fault would not have influenced the degree of her injury.

How many times in life are there near misses?  Something terrible is only a sliver of time or space away.  I am grateful for the protection of a loving God, who spared her from injury and me from grief.

What Goes Around....

….comes around.

My heart is grieved when I see teenagers and young adults mistreat and disrespect their parents.  I have lived long enough to see what happens in the next generation.

Many years ago my mother talked to me about a family she knew well.  She was saddened to watch A’s mother say and do disrespectful things toward A’s grandmother.  She said that A would treat her mother the same way someday.  A is now an adult, who goes way past what her mother did to her grandmother.  Although her mother is still living, she has no relationship with her, and has declared that as far as she is concerned, she has no mother.

I have seen this in my own family.  The children who lied to me, swore at me, and were generally awful to me as teenagers have had terrible struggles with their own teenagers.  One has asked me more than once, if I wished it on her.  NO!  NO!  No matter how hurt I was, I never once wished that revenge for me would come through my grandchildren.  I never wished it, but with great sadness, I knew it would happen.

I am currently trying to convince someone of this.  She is behaving most cruelly toward her mother.  In a few days, she will be looking lovingly at her own child.  She will convince herself that this sweet little babe will never break her heart.  She cannot see into the future and know that everything she dishes out will fall back into her own lap…probably multiplied.

It is futile for me to hope I am wrong.  It may be better for me to hope, that I don’t live long enough to see it.

Script for a Horror Movie

Amos, as inspired by God, wrote a horror movie script…who knew???  The scenario described reveals a man running away from a lion.  He is catching his breath feeling relieved that he has escaped the lion, when out pops a bear!  Running from the bear, he reaches his home and shuts the door supposing he is at last in a secure place.  He leans against the wall in exhaustion.  Uh-oh!  A snake swings down from the rafters and bites him!

The judgment of the Lord is certain.  It may not come on the time table we expect, but it will come.

Why?  The people described in Amos are religious without sincerity.  They make a show of their rituals, but have no genuine care for the poor and needy.  They may pretend to worship, but give no thought to what is right and just.  They are consumed by pride in themselves and complacency regarding anyone else.  They use every method available to advance their own cause, not caring who is harmed in the process.

Amos watched what went on around him with grief, as do many genuine believers today.  We look around and see many of the same characteristics in our society.   People in our culture seem focused on being entertained and having material possessions.   Except for an occasional spasm of conscience, so little thought is given to the poor and suffering in the world. 

Repentance would be preferable, but, I am afraid that the lion is coming, followed by the bear and the snake.