I have never been a person who cried easily. I decided before becoming an adult that crying accomplished nothing and often gave me a headache. I could probably count on one hand the times in my adult life that I have cried prior to May 16, 2022.
But…
Since Bill’s death, I cry on a regular basis…as in multiple
times a day, and sometimes it is not because of sadness over his absence in my
life. I just feel emotionally “raw” so
that anything can push me over the edge.
In the past two days, I have cried for the following reasons:
*singing the song “In Christ Alone”
*reading that there are 1.7 million orphans wandering the
streets of Cairo, Egypt
*thinking that Christ had to die in order for me to live
eternally
*receiving a letter from the head of a Christian ministry
describing the degree of commitment exhibited by some Christian workers in the
face of danger to themselves
*reading that an adult male severely injured a two month old
baby, because the baby had pulled on his nose ring
*finding that my husband had a stash of
birthday/Valentine/other occasion cards addressed to me that he had never given
me. He must have been concerned that he
might forget some year, so he had a supply in a file drawer all signed and with
my name on the envelopes.
Those are the times coming to mind at the moment. I think there have been some others.
Well….there’s also writing this.
I see crying as a necessary and healthy part of grieving. Let the tears come when they do. Expressing your feeling is a good thing. Loosing Bill is the most difficult thing that ever happened to you and it’s very okay to cry.
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