It is the Best of Times...It is the Worst of Times

The fact that we are currently “locked in” with our family or perhaps with just a spouse will be a real blessing for some.  Some of us will look back on this as one of “the best of times.”  My family has been previously “quarantined” by blizzards and ice storms and a microburst.  We have played “survivor” for real, with life being pared down to the essentials...keeping the house warm, cooking food over a fire, lighting our way with candles and flashlights.  My family members actually have fond memories of those crazy times.

In the isolation we are now experiencing, we at least still have all our normal services to make life comfortable.  There are even ways to have groceries or meals delivered if we can’t go out at all.  We have electricity and internet, so we can watch television and browse the web to feel connected.  We have telephone service.  I remember the sadness with which I watched ice tear down the telephone lines.  Now we have cell phones not dependent on wires to the house.

The notion of spending days on end with only my husband is not the least bit upsetting.  We have been best friends for over 53 years…married for over 51 years.  We are both currently sick, but that doesn’t change our relationship.  We cough up our guts in unison and use the same spittoon.  Not sexy?  After all these years, we are past such worries.  We manage each day by doing what we each can do and hoping the other has the strength and energy to pick up the slack.  This, of course, means that dishes are sitting in the sink longer than normal, and meals are bare bones, if not take-out.  Neither of us has an appetite anyway.  Lacking energy and ambition, we collapse against each other on the sofa and watch dumb stuff we have already seen.

But, we will get through this because our relationship is based on love and respect and a commitment to each other’s well-being.   When we disagree, neither of us feels we have to “win” an argument.  We discuss and debate, but we don’t yell.  Neither of us says mean or hateful things.  The idea of hitting one another is unthinkable.

I fear that there are those for whom this may be “the worst of times.”  In homes where there is a tendency toward lashing out angrily and abusive behaviors, the tension of being isolated as a family may push things over the edge into spousal or parental abuse.  Mothers who can’t wait for summer vacation to end so they can send the kids back to school are now confronted with the need to oversee some semblance of education.  Many will be ill-prepared for this.  Children who are not used to their parents establishing limits may not want to cooperate.  Being out of work and the resulting financial difficulties will contribute to rising tensions between spouses.  If there is a tendency toward domestic abuse, there will be plenty of opportunity for it being triggered.

I can see the potential for all of this, but I feel powerless to do anything about it.  I live in a retirement community, so I am not near families who may be struggling.  Also…I am presently sick and avoiding contact with anyone.  I have laryngitis and can’t even talk on the phone for very long without coughing.  So, here I am, sitting on the shelf.  From this vantage point, I pray that those who are in need will find help, and that churches will find ways to reach into their communities.  It may be that during the worst of times, hearts and minds are more open to learning that the best of times comes from a relationship with a loving heavenly Father.