Monday, August 21, 2023

Severe Mercy

 When Bill died so unexpectedly and suddenly, a friend told me that God had granted me a "severe mercy."  I had heard the term before and knew what he meant.  I did not have to stand by watching Bill suffer as he died little by little from cancer or dementia.  The cardiac arrest was so abrupt, he didn't suffer any agonizing pain.  He slept until that moment.  When we decided we had to take him off the ventilator and let him go, there was wonderful hospice care available.


There is a level on which I know I should be grateful.  His passing in this way was God's gift to both of us.  I recognized immediately that God had made it as easy on me as possible.  I was near family and friends who were supportive.  I was done with the school year except for one last day, and I had "happened" to leave an open book quiz on my desk.  When he was transferred to a hospice never having regained consciousness, our apartment was only a block away, easing the stress of those final three days as he quietly slipped away.


However, I have felt Bill's loss...his absence from my life...so keenly, that I have struggled to maintain the gratitude.  It is one thing to recognize God's hand in the process, and another to come to grips with the situation as part of God's long range plan for His glory and our good.


It has been 15 months and 5 days since he breathed his last breath.  Fifteen and a half months since we had our last conversation.  I don't remember much of the last day he was conscious.  I think the trauma of the cardiac arrest wiped out some of my memory of the prior day, but I do remember that last day talking with him about the upcoming running events for which he had registered.  He had just run 6 miles and was evaluating how he would do the next week at the National Senior Games.  We had no idea where he would actually be a week later, and that he would be running his final race.


I am doing my best to focus on being grateful for the "severe mercy."  I know God understands my sorrow, but that He sees the big picture which is hidden from me.



Monday, August 7, 2023

Sitting in the Stillness

“I’m alone,” she thought.

“The presence is gone,

The throbbing pulse of energy

Which had become part of myself.”

 

He danced through life.

Exuding a vibrant persona

Of agility and strength,

Both physical and mental.

 

So she sits in the stillness,

The space too quiet,

The air hanging heavy

With overwhelming grief and loss.



Friday, July 28, 2023

Forever

 I didn't just want

"Til death do us part. "

I wanted forever.

Your loss broke my heart.


My only solace,

The hope that I live in,

We'll be together forever, 

Someday in heaven.

Sunday, July 16, 2023

Are there absurdities in the Bible?

An understated oddity lies in the Bible’s account of creation, wherein Light was manifested on the first day, while the sun, stars, and moon didn’t make their celestial debut until the fourth day (Genesis 1:3-19). This account presents a delightful absurdity, as Light typically is a byproduct of these celestial bodies.


One might be amused imagining a universe aglow with Light yet devoid of its familiar celestial bodies. It’s a quirk of the text that can spark many questions and debates, reminding us of the intriguing challenges in interpreting ancient texts.


The above is quoted from an internet posting about the “absurdities in the Bible.”   I am afraid it represents both arrogance and ignorance.


To begin with, they/he/she include the moon in their list of sources of light.  The moon has no light of its own.  Its light is reflected from the sun.  Secondly, rather than being “absurd” the creation of “light” as the first thing made before the sun and other stars makes perfect sense, if you realize that light is a form of energy.  Since light and matter are interchangeable (E=mc2), it is totally logical that an energy form preceded matter.  Since men in the era in which this document was written would have had no knowledge of the link between matter and energy, I have always taken this as a confirmation that the writer of Genesis was getting his information from the creator himself.  To me it is an example of the inspired word of God.


I have no intent of attempting to debunk all of the 50 supposed absurdities, but some of them are based on a misunderstanding of the text.  Others may seem to represent impossible situations, but that is because we have finite minds.  If there really is an all-powerful God who created and sustains the universe and everything in it, then nothing is impossible for him.  He may choose whether or not he abides by the laws of physics.  It is also clear that he has created laws of physics that we do not yet understand.  Quantum theory is an example.  Human knowledge is finite.  The most brilliant among us are having difficulty stretching their minds around some emerging concepts.


It is ignorant for us to assume we possess all knowledge and arrogant for us to think that everything we don’t understand is absurd.


For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.  I Corinthians 1:25


Unfortunately, there are people who will believe what is posted on the internet.  Knowledge of the Bible is in short supply, and there are those who will dismiss it as a book of absurdities without examining the mentioned passages themselves and/or without thinking deeply about what has been written.


I have read the Bible cover to cover multiple times.  It is NOT a book of absurdities.  It is a book describing many situations which the human mind has difficulty comprehending, but no thinking person should dismiss it as ridiculous or irrelevant.  It deserves an open-minded examination. 


It deserves a prayerful examination…open my eyes, Lord.



Friday, June 30, 2023

Providence: John Piper's View VS Mine

I have just begun to read John Piper’s book Providence.  It will take me awhile since it is 711 pages…but I figure I made it through The Count of Monte Cristo as a high school student, so I can handle this.  I am wondering what insights it might give me as I struggle with the loss of my husband.  I believe in God’s sovereignty and providence.  I believe God orchestrated my husband and me meeting, so I must also believe it was His hand that brought about our parting.  Sovereignty and providence bring comfort.


John Piper and I graduated from Wheaton College the same year.  I would not, however, presume to call us “classmates.”  We were never in an actual class together, I never spoke to him until decades later at a conference, and we did NOT travel in the same circles.  As a college student, he was already “known,” and his potential recognized.  I was an obscure oddity.  I entered college having already completed nursing school.  I was paying my own way through college, so I was off campus a great deal working.  Also, I was a chemistry major.  Nurses normally majored in Nursing and took a watered-down chemistry course referred to as “nurses chem.”  I had developed a fascination with the chemistry of the body and the way in which medications worked.  Chemistry satisfied me intellectually.


If known for anything, girl chemistry majors were maligned.  The notion circulated that we were only there to meet guys who were going to be doctors in hopes of an advantageous marriage.  My senior year there was an article in the campus newspaper discussing the best places on campus to study.  A male chemistry major stated that the best place to study was the Chemistry Library, because “have you ever seen the girl chemistry majors?”  His meaning, of course, was that guys would not be distracted by our physical appearance.  If I had not been already engaged at that point, I am afraid I might have carried out something about which I have since fantasized.  At the age of 23, I had rather “stunning” proportions which I modestly disguised.  I would have loved to have maximized them and strutted through the library in a clear attempt to distract. 


All of that to say, I was an unknown entity.  I am not now, nor have I ever been a theologian, so it is probably presumptuous for me to give my view on Providence.  Nevertheless, I am guessing that John Piper has taken 711 pages to say what I have been saying for decades:

All of the elements of the universe and of our individual lives are like pieces in a gigantic and infinitely complex Rubik’s cube.  The hands of God move the pieces about in such a manner that they are always working toward His glory and our ultimate good.  He alone knows the solution and exactly how to achieve it.


Three sentences versus 711 pages.  I just finished page 45.  I’m sure John’s approach is more scholarly than mine, and that I will enjoy and be challenged by it.


Now about that complementarianism….



 

Wednesday, June 28, 2023

The Lonely Path

I did not mean to walk this path.

I stumble, slip and fall,

Blocked from the path I prefer,

By death’s impenetrable wall.

 

I did not make a wrong turn.

A landslide forced me here.

I do the best that I can do,

In spite of grief and fear.

 

The ground is so uneven,

I trip on jutting rock,

And then I hit loose gravel,

Or roots that interlock.

 

I wished to avoid it,

This painful lonely journey,

Without the one I dearly love,

But, this path was chosen for me.



Saturday, June 3, 2023

Beyond Biocentrism--a Review

I just finished reading Beyond Biocentrism by Lanza & Berman.  I guess I should have known where it was going given the recommendation by Deepak Chopra. 

 

I was a bit surprised when I compared the definition of biocentrism to the content of the book.  Biocentrism is defined as “an ethical perspective holding that all life deserves equal moral consideration or has equal moral standing.”  That concept does not emerge as primary in this book.  Lanza (who seems to be the main author) discusses current physics in general and quantum theory in particular, as only being able to be understood through a biocentric viewpoint.  Never mind the fact that many physicists believe the one thing that you can understand about quantum theory is that it can’t be understood.

 

Some thoughts on the book:

In the second chapter Lanza states:  “By the time the Old Testament books were penned…a key point was a stationary Earth ruled by a single, easily upset God.  The rabbis of the time showed no inclination to question this prevailing worldview.  They duly filled the pages of Genesis and Deuteronomy with the flat-earth, glued-in-place mindset of their time…   Figuring out how nature operated was on nobody’s to-do list.  Indeed, the things that provoke our curiosity today—the nature of life and time and consciousness and the working of the brain—all would have seemed alien to early civilizations.”

 

I beg to differ!  Skipping over my discomfort with an “easily upset God,” let’s go to the flat-earth notion.  Having read through the Bible in its entirety multiple times, I have never seen the flat earth notion.  Job, which is believed to predate Genesis, refers to the earth as being suspended over nothing.  Chapter 26 also refers to the horizon on the face of the waters, which obviously could be observed to be curved.

 

I have to assume Lanza has never read the book of Job because it is full of deep philosophical questions.  What is the origin of pain, suffering and evil?  Why would an Almighty God pay any attention to us?  What is the purpose for our existence?  In chapters 38-41 of Job, the Lord asks Job a series of questions which touch on many of life’s mysteries.  I, of course, believe that the Bible is inspired and God-breathed, so man would not necessarily have come up with these questions by himself, but he is certainly presented with them.  Keep in mind that the book of Job is believed to be the oldest book of the Bible.  If it was not God-inspired, humans were already pondering the imponderables.

 

Lanza also states that the ancients (i.e. authors of the Old Testament) “may have been onto something” as they frequently mention “light” which is a “central character in Reality’s puzzle.”  He equates light and energy in this passage.  I am astounded that any scientist can dismiss the fact that Genesis begins with the statement “Let there be light.”  How could the uninformed ancients possibly have known that the first created thing had to be energy?  Of course, a Creator could have known that light and the energy it represents was the way to begin.  It appears that Lanza dismisses this as a lucky guess.

 

The book spends quite a bit of time on the idea that “time” doesn’t really exist except as a creation of our own minds in order to function in life.  “There are places in the universe where only a single second of events pass while a millions years’ worth of activities simultaneously elapses here on Earth.”  II Peter 3:8 seems to indicate that God lives outside of time stating that “with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”  Genesis 1 states that God created the sun and moon to “serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years.”  In other words, He made them for the benefit of human beings to be able to keep track of time.  He doesn’t need them.  Timelessness is nothing new.

 

Several false statements are made regarding the beliefs of creationists and proponents of intelligent design, but then Lanza states “Give them this.  When they complain that the creation of the eye’s architecture cannot be explained by natural selection, and some scientists respond by summarily dismissing them, it is the latter who are guilty of sloppy reasoning.”  He correctly takes evolutionists to task, although not for the same reasons I would as a believer in an intelligent Creator.

 

Quite a bit of time is spent on the idea of consciousness and the fact that no one has an adequate explanation for how it “evolved” or came into being.  We all have it, but science can’t explain where it came from.  I believe that when God said “let us make man in our image,” he was not talking about physical form, but about consciousness of self, the ability to be creative, and the ability to make choices.  Consciousness is one of God’s gifts.  Having also recently read an article on Artificial Intelligence, I very much doubt that a computer will ever gain self-awareness, even if it can recognize itself in a mirror.

 

The book clearly states that “randomness is not a tenable hypothesis” for the finely tuned cosmos that allows for the existence of the earth and life on it.  But, just the time one thinks Lanza may be arguing for the existence of an intelligent Creator, we learn that by some mystical means we have created all this ourselves.  We are “one” with everything that surrounds us.  We “create” things by observing them.  This ties in with quantum theory where photons and electrons are waves until they are observed and then materialize as particles which can be measured and their location determined.

 

Co-author Berman takes his turn to describe a life-altering experience in which he realized his oneness with everything and felt over-whelming peace.  The eastern vs the western mind is discussed.  The eastern mind can simultaneously hold seemingly conflicting thoughts….such as light is both a wave and a particle.  But, this can be applied to all areas.  It seems we need to abandon our notion that time and space are “real.”  They are only constructs of our mind.

 

About this place in the book, I wrote in the margin “flirting with schizophrenia?”  Then I came upon “Don’t trouble yourself with endless questions about God, existence, destiny and all the rest.  Instead find out who is the person who wants to know such things.  A person who made such self-inquiries with all sincerity and good effort ultimately could find no one home.  He or she would discover that there is no separate individual self, only a stream of thoughts….one would clearly see that the “self” was either nothing at all …or the entire cosmos.”  Sounds suspiciously like, we are encouraged to become our own “god.” 

 

The very next chapter after I had decided this requires being out of touch with “reality,” he points out that in order to function in the world “we have appointments to keep.  We live in a society based on a shared notion of time and have to act accordingly if we’re not to be locked away in a psychiatric ward.”  Indeed!

 

The book actually says a lot that is correct.  In the concluding chapter:  “Science’s ever-growing twentieth-century assumption of a dumb, random universe, in which life arose by chance, had the secondary effect of isolating the human psyche from the cosmos….This together with the growing abandonment of religion, probably led to a sense that in a cosmos ruled by accidents…we humans need to exploit the environment and grab what we can.”

 

He sees biocentrism as the solution to man’s current dilemma.  I see the solution as a return to belief in a God who defines both justice and mercy, and who controls human history.  I am confident God understands dark matter, dark energy and quantum theory.  I am perfectly in agreement with scientists trying to gain additional knowledge about these areas.  Since God Himself defines Truth, anyone honestly searching for Truth will come face to face with God.

 

Lanza and Berman have found much truth, but they have not employed Occam’s Razor:  the theory that the simplest explanation is usually the best.  They have constructed a whole theory of biocentrism "entangled" with quantum theory instead of the much simpler explanation that there actually is a God.